Page 19 of Heartbeat Harmony (Hearts in Hawthorne #2)

Chapter

Ten

E li had never kissed a woman.

But he had dreamed of kissing Autumn Sutherland for weeks now.

He had Googled how to kiss, finding a how-to site on Wiki, never dreaming he would actually have the opportunity to kiss Autumn.

He knew he was supposed to stay relaxed.

Keep his lips soft and not tense up. No smacking or smashing.

Keep it easy and gentle. But her vanilla scent was swirling about him.

The heat of her body near him had his heart pumping wildly.

Eli decided to quit thinking about the kissing website.

And simply go with the flow.

Autumn’s hand felt warm on the back of his neck.

He liked her touch there. His hands came up and framed her face as their lips pressed together.

She broke the kiss, her lips hovering near his, and then kissed him again.

They traded a series of those light kisses, each one becoming longer than the previous one.

His pulse began pounding, and he grew lightheaded as this kiss lasted longer than all the ones before put together.

She had stepped into him, and their bodies touched.

Her breasts pressed against his chest, and he had the urge to touch them.

To kiss them, the way he was kissing her mouth.

He couldn’t do that, though. That seemed way out of line.

Instead, he cradled her cheek with one palm and wrapped his arm around her, drawing her even closer.

She made a little sound that caused his heart to skip a beat.

Again, she broke the kiss, and he felt the absence of her lips against his. He moved in, his mouth touching hers, thinking there was no place he’d rather be than kissing Autumn Sutherland.

Eli couldn’t say how long they stayed that way, kissing, their bodies pressed together, heat enveloping him.

His fingers pushed into her long, auburn locks, reveling in its silky feel.

His heart raced, his breathing heavy. Instinct told him to end things now.

Not to push too hard or too fast. So, he broke the kiss, his lips still so close to hers, his forehead resting against hers simply because he didn’t want to break this intimacy between them.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

He sensed her surprise. “Really?”

Lifting his head, he gazed into her eyes, ones which had mesmerized him from the first time they had met.

“Really.”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you. I’ve been desperate to kiss you,” Autumn admitted. “But too much was holding me back.”

He slid his other arm around her. “You were very upfront and told me you had no intentions of getting involved with anyone. I know ending your marriage wasn’t something you did lightly. That’s why I didn’t try to kiss you before now.”

“My head told me to keep away from you, but my heart told me to go for it,” she admitted. “You’re right. I had no desire to be in a relationship.” She made a face. “Especially one with my boss.” She swallowed. “Not that this is a relationship. We kissed. That’s all.”

“Do you want to kiss some more?” he asked, hearing his voice was low and unlike it usually sounded. “Or is this the end of it?”

Her luminous eyes grew large. “I want more. But only if you do.”

Eli smiled gently. “How could I not want more?” He hesitated. “But if I do kiss you again, I will need more.”

“I’m not ready to have sex, Eli,” she said, her voice tight.

“No, I’m not talking about that. I would never push you or rush you, Autumn. I know you’re emotionally fragile now. What I mean is that if we kiss again, I’ll become invested. In you. In us. I would want to see where this might go.”

“I’m afraid,” she whispered. “Not of you. Never of you. But what could happen if I let go. My heart is pretty damaged, Eli. You’re a wonderful man.

Thoughtful. Caring. Dedicated. I guess I’m afraid if I become invested and it’s ripped away from me again, I might not survive it.

Ending my marriage to Flint was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through.

I don’t know if I’m ready to open up and try again. ”

Disappointment filled him, but he could understand her hesitation. He lightly kissed her brow.

“Then I think we should stop. For now, at least.”

He relaxed, letting his arms fall away from her, feeling lonely without her heat next to him.

Autumn put a hand on his forearm, squeezing it. “Thank you for being such a gentleman. I’m never that forward. I mean, I kissed you . I’ve never made the first move. Ever.”

He smoothed her hair. “I’m glad you did. Because I never would have done that.”

She studied him carefully. “Because you’re my boss?”

“Exactly that. I’ve worked too hard to treat my position lightly.

I didn’t want to do anything untoward and make you feel uncomfortable.

I’m keenly aware of the fact that, as medical director at Triple H, I’m in a position of authority over you.

I’m your evaluator. I didn’t want you to feel pressured if I showed any interest in you. ”

She smiled ruefully. “Maybe we should quit now before things grow serious.”

His gut tightened. Autumn was right. Becoming involved was a terrible idea. But now that he had kissed her, he didn’t know if he could stay away from her.

“Whatever you decide, I’ll abide by,” he told her, his throat thick with emotion.

“Could you give me a little time to think about it?” she asked.

Eli held on to the tiniest glimmer of hope. “You can take all the time you need. I’m a fair man. I would never allow anything you said or did to influence how I view you as a professional.”

“What is the policy regarding workers in a relationship?”

“I’ll have to check with HR. Honestly, the thought never occurred to me. I have hired a couple of people who are married, and I know there’s no rule forbidding that.” He hesitated. “Do you want me to check with corporate?”

She took a long moment before replying. “Yes. I’d like to know. To be prepared.”

Letting out a long breath, he said, “Okay. I’ll do that and get back to you.”

Autumn reached out and took his hand. His fingers wrapped around hers, feeling as if they belonged there.

“Thank you. I know you could have hired someone with more experience than I have to head up your nursing program. I also know that you could tell me just to forget about what just happened between us. I appreciate you showing patience with me and letting me get my head on straight before we agree to move forward or maintain our friendship.”

“I want to be your friend, Autumn,” Eli said. “Your friendship is very important to me, both at work and outside of it. Take all the time you need. Share what you feel when you’re ready to do so. I’m in a no judgment zone.”

Squeezing his fingers, she pulled her hand away. “You’re a very special man, Eli. Thank you for giving me space.” She grinned. “And not freaking out when I kissed you.”

“It was a really nice kiss, Autumn,” he said from his heart, hoping there would be many more of them to come. “Let me walk you to your car.”

She collected her purse and then bent to where Atticus slept in his doggy bed. Autumn stroked the dog, who let out a sigh in his sleep.

“He must be dreaming of brisket,” she said, grinning at the dog and then Eli.

He escorted her to her car, opening the door for her. Autumn stood looking at him, and it took everything Eli had not to wrap his arms around her and kiss her until they were both breathless.

“I think your first party was a resounding success,” she told him. “It was nice to get to know people outside of work. Steven is always all-business, all the time. I saw a different side of him tonight.”

“Who knew he liked to garden?” Eli joked.

“It was a great start to what you’re building at Triple H. Relationships with co-workers are important. We need to know and respect one another. Trust each other. Tonight went a long way in making that happen.”

“I’m glad you were able to come tonight,” he said.

“Me, too.”

Autumn leaned up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “See you Monday, Eli.”

He watched her get into her car and start it. She gave a wave, and he returned it. Eli went back into his house, wondering if this had been the start of something with Autumn.

Or if he would remain in the friend zone with her.