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Marlena glanced over her shoulder every so often, ensuring no one was following or noticed them. Arlet snuck behind a door but left it propped open for Marlena.

The only sound in the library was the door closing with a click when Marlena shut it behind her. There were rows of shelves with books as old as the house itself, mixed in with newer collections .

Marlena had spent many nights studying here after the house went quiet and everyone else was asleep.

Arlet trailed down the middle row, her fingers skimming over books until she looked up and saw Marlena standing at the end and stopped.

“Hi,” Marlena said with a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. Gods, I’ve missed her.

“Hi,” Arlet squeaked back.

Marlena felt like she was floating as she walked down the aisle towards her. She reached out and grabbed Arlet’s cheeks between her hands and kissed her softly. “You look fucking amazing,” she mumbled against her lips.

Arlet didn’t reach out and touch her like she normally would, and she didn't kiss her back with the fervent need Marlena was used to.

Her hands fell from Arlet’s face and traced the curves of her body, then rested on her hips. “Are you okay?”

Arlet immediately shook her head. “No.”

The bags under her eyes were darker under the dim lighting between the shelves at night. Marlena fought the urge to bring her hand up and trace the lines of her face.

“Your parents…” Arlet started, biting at her quivering lip. “Your parents know about us. That’s why you freaked out.” It wasn’t a question.

Marlena nodded, finally breaking the hold she had on her body and reaching up to push a piece of Arlet’s hair behind her ear.

Marlena was so much softer with Arlet than she was with anyone else.

This version of herself that she let Arlet see was fading, but with her, she could save just a small piece. For Arlet, she would.

“I didn’t mean to get caught. I didn’t mean to start all this trouble.” Marlena could tell Arlet was doing her best to keep herself from crying.

She was hiding something. Marlena could feel it in the way her body stayed stiff, when she usually melted into her touch.

“It’s okay. It’s okay they know.” Marlena traced a thumb over her cheek. “I told them I didn’t care what they think, and I don’t. They can’t take you from me… I won’t let them.”

Arlet closed her eyes and leaned into Marlena’s gentle touch. She kept her eyes closed when she spoke. “But I can.” Her eyes popped open, and any trace of her sadness had been stored away, locked behind her hazel eyes.

Marlena’s stomach dropped, and she stepped back. It could have been minutes, hours, or days before she finally spoke… and when she did, all she could manage was, “What?”

“But I can,” she repeated. “I can take me from you.”

The world seemed to spin on its axis, sending Marlena’s stomach on a twisted ride. “What are you saying?”

Arlet seemed to be operating on autopilot, but her hands were shaking at her sides. She opened and closed her fists a few times, and they still shook with nerves. “Mar, I think…” She paused and swallowed, her throat bobbing. “I don’t think we should do this anymore.”

No.

Marlena had been pushing people away, scared in the end that they would give up on her but hoping they would see through the mask she’d been wearing—hoping they would see she was only doing this for now.

She could open up so soon. So soon.

“No.” Marlena’s voice was quiet, her walls completely crumbling down around her like a war zone. I can’t lose her too. She took a step forward, reaching for Arlet, but this time Arlet was the one to take a step back.

She shook her head, her jaw clenching as she fought against the tears. “I can’t let you lose what you’ve worked so hard to get.”

“I’m not. I won’t.” Marlena’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. “Did they threaten you? Arlet, I swear to the gods if they?—”

“No, they didn’t threaten me. This isn’t even about them knowing. It’s about how you reacted, about how you treated Vega tonight, how you treated the guard... It’s about you, Marlena.” Arlet looked up at the ceiling, tilting her head back to avoid spilling tears. “Something is going on with you.”

Even now, Marlena wasn’t going to tell her what was coming. She couldn’t use it as a last-ditch effort to keep Arlet. “I’m fine. I just have a lot going on.”

“Of course you do, which is why you need to focus on yourself, on figuring out how to balance your new life and everything that comes with it. I can’t be your distraction. I can’t be the person you come to only when it’s convenient to you, when you need to feel good.”

“Do you think that’s what I do? That I only come to you when it’s convenient for me?” Marlena felt an emotion she hadn’t ever felt before… one she never wanted to feel again.

Heartbreak.

“I think that’s what it’s turned into, yes.

I know it’s not intentional. I know you’re busy, that your life is changing…

but I—I only want what’s best for you.” Arlet’s tears finally fell.

She let them trail down her cheeks without wiping them away.

“And I think what’s best for you is something you don’t want to confront yet…

but us…” Arlet motioned between the two of them.

“This isn’t good for you right now. You attacked your parents because they didn’t want you to be with me, didn’t you? ”

“I didn’t attack them because of you!” Marlena’s anger soared, her wind rising with her emotions.

Books from around the room clattered to the floor, and Arlet jumped in surprise.

“I fought back! For the first time in my life, I showed them that I can’t be messed with anymore!

” Marlena hadn’t realized she was crying too until she felt the moisture from her tears rolling down her neck.

She wiped them away, smearing her makeup across her cheek. “Don’t do this.”

Arlet looked at her like Marlena was a stranger after taking in the mess she’d made of the library. Just like Vega did… “I don’t have a choice,” she choked.

“Yes, you do.” Marlena couldn’t find the strength to move. The power she’d felt in the ballroom earlier had dissipated, leaving in its place a version of Marlena she hadn’t been since her childhood.

Sad.

Wounded.

Weak.

“I’m so sorry, Mar. I’ve loved every second of getting to see the person you are when no one’s looking, and I want you to be that person all the time.

I want everyone to see the person that I’ve fallen in love with.

” Arlet’s lips quivered. “But you can’t be her until you’re ready.

Until you can trust that other people will love my version of you too. ”

Marlena tried to stop the tears, to patch her heart up before it shattered into a million jagged pieces… but it was too late. The dam broke, and there wasn’t enough glue in the world to mend her broken heart.

“I love you.” Arlet finally took a step towards Marlena. “But I can’t fix what was already broken. I can’t help you find yourself. Only you can do that.”

I love you.

The words replayed in her head over and over again, turning frantic in the back of her mind. Marlena hadn’t heard those words from anyone but Vega… and for the first time, they came from someone who didn’t have to say them—who didn’t feel obligated to love someone like her.

“Please don’t leave me.” Marlena’s voice was barely audible even to herself, but somehow, Arlet still heard her.

She took another step forward and grabbed Marlena’s face in her hands.

“I will always be here for you. I promise. We just—we have to take a little break. You’ve gotta find out who it is you want to be, and the person you’re being right now isn’t the one I can be with.

” Arlet swiped her thumb over Marlena’s face, catching a fallen tear. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

Marlena’s hand covered Arlet’s, the one that continued to wipe away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. She closed her eyes and memorized the way Arlet’s hand felt against her skin.

“Say something. Please.” Arlet’s voice broke, the sorrow and regret in her tone magnifying the same emotions roaring inside Marlena’s chest.

When Marlena’s eyes snapped open, the tears had finally stopped. She pulled Arlet’s hands away from her cheek and took a step back, wiping at her mess of a face before slamming her emotions behind the cold mask she’d been taught to wear.

“Marlena, plea?—”

“Get out.”

Arlet opened her mouth to say something, to plead with her, but Marlena had had enough. “Get. Out,” she growled.

Arlet didn’t move right away, and it almost looked like she was going to say something else, but Marlena couldn’t let her.

She’d heard enough.

Her arm shot up, and with a gust of angry wind, the door to the library slammed open and cracked down the middle when it hit the wall behind it with too much force, pieces falling to the floor.

Arlet jumped again, the skirt of her dress fluttering with the movement. She nodded once and turned her back on Marlena as she quickly took her exit.

Marlena watched her go, and when Arlet was out of sight and she could no longer hear her footsteps, Marlena fell to her knees and let out a shriek that felt like it shredded her vocal chords.

Who are you now that no one’s around to see?