Page 19 of Heart of the Storm (Hearts Over Wyoming #1)

Nineteen

Baa’koa rode at the head of the group, guiding the warriors and trappers through the familiar valley where he had spent much of his youth hunting and tracking alongside Nahko’tah and Matso’onah. The sound of barking dogs and children’s laughter carried on the breeze as the village came into view. More than a dozen lodges appeared in the distance. Horses grazed at the outskirts of the village, and the scent of cooking fires promised a warm meal ahead.

His mount walked faster now, the scent of his herd mates and of home strong in the colt’s nostrils. Several of the warriors behind him whooped and rode ahead to announce their arrival. Not that it was necessary. The buzz of activity in the village shifted the moment the group was spotted. People abandoned their tasks and gathered at the edge to greet them.

Baa’koa glanced over his shoulder. Tessa was right behind him. Her horse didn’t share the same eagerness as his exuberant colt and had fallen behind. He slowed his animal so that her gelding could catch up. Further back, Josiah and his men kept a leisurely pace. The pack animals brought up the rear carrying Tessa’s furs and the remainder of her trading goods.

His chest swelled with the familiar feeling of home and familiarity. Tessa smiled, but there was a small glimmer of nervousness in her eyes.

“I didn’t expect your village to be quite so big,” she said as she brought Old Billy up alongside his horse. She swept her arm around in front of her. “And it’s so beautiful here. What a wonderful view you have of the Teton mountains.”

Baa’koa returned her smile. “We follow the buffalo herds in spring and into summer, but the Teewinots are never out of our sights. This valley is where we have our main camp. It’s getting late enough in the season that the lodges probably won’t be moved again before next spring.”

“You must be so glad to finally be home.” Her eyes lingered on him for a moment. Baa’koa fought the urge to reach out and touch her face. They’d traveled for days to reach the valley, and there had been little time to steal private moments with Tessa. One of her companions always seemed to be nearby. His thoughts and feelings about her had weighed heavily on his mind during the long days and nights, but he wasn’t any closer to an answer about what he should do. There was already talk from Tessa’s men that they planned to return to St. Louis.

The women and children stared in awe as the procession of trappers and pack animals arrived among them. The old men hung back, but were equally as curious. The young boys and youths who hadn’t yet reached warrior status eagerly greeted the returning men.

People called out words of praise to him and the warriors, but the same warmth was not extended to Tessa and the others. Some of the women greeted Josiah Butler and his men with reserved glances and waves, most likely because they remembered the trappers when they’d come to trade many months ago. Still, they weren’t sure if they should trust these white men or not. Trappers had killed Matso’onah and Nahko’tah, and many faces remained suspicious.

“Look, they remember us,” Josiah proclaimed with a hearty laugh. “Good thing we got some trinkets ta hand out, or them gals would be plum disappointed.”

Many eyes were on Tessa as she rode beside Baa’koa, some of the girls pointing and whispering in awe about her golden hair.

Next to him, Tessa sat straight in the saddle. Her chin was raised and she glanced at the people as she rode past them with a smile on her face. She seemed to take it in stride that so many eyes were on her, but her stiff posture revealed she wasn’t quite at ease.

One of the women stood by herself near her lodge, watching the arrival with quiet interest. Her eyes brightened as they settled on him, but she didn’t move.

“Mother,” Baa’koa whispered under his breath. It had been many weeks since he’d seen her, and so much had happened. He guided his colt toward her, and slid from the animal’s back.

“You have returned unharmed, Baa’koa,” she greeted in her reserved manner. She held out her hand to touch his face and smiled. “It is good to see you, my son.”

“It is good to be home, Mother,” he said. “There is much news to tell.”

Her expression was unreadable as her gaze shifted from him to the group of trappers behind him. Her eyes softened as they landed back on him, but when they flickered to Tessa, they narrowed ever so slightly, the smallest flicker of uncertainty passing over her face.

Baa’koa spoke first, his voice steady despite the turmoil inside. “Matso’onah’s death has been avenged, Mother. Those responsible will never harm anyone else.”

His mother’s eyes filled with a mixture of pride and sorrow. After a long pause, she nodded, her voice quiet but filled with emotion. “You have brought honor to his spirit, my son.” The sadness in her gaze did not fully leave.

His mother’s grief for Matso’onah was unspoken, but it lived in every line of her face. There was pride in what Baa’koa had done, but there was also a mourning that would never be fully erased. The weight of loss and grief fell heavily on her heart.

Baa’koa glanced over his shoulder. Tessa had dismounted her horse, but she hadn’t approached. She seemed unsure about what to do. Josiah and his men, along with Tessa’s men, had made their way to the other end of the village, guided by Ahan.

“I didn’t know if I should join my men or stay here,” Tessa said, directing a tentative smile at Ahka’aweh, his mother.

Baa’koa glanced from one woman to the other, unsure what to do. It was clear to his mother that he’d brought a woman with him, but she was not his wife and also not his prisoner.

“Mother, this woman is called Tessa Beckett. She is the one who ended the life of your husband’s murderer, and she has saved my life.”

Ahka’aweh’s eyes widened as she stared at Tessa. Her smile came slowly, but she stepped forward and her hands clasped Tessa’s arms. “Then she is welcome here.”

Tessa stood stiffly for a moment. She cast a hasty glance at Baa’koa, beckoning with her eyes for help.

“Tessa, this is my mother, Ahka’aweh,” he said, smiling at Tessa’s uncertainty. She hadn’t known a mother’s love in many years from what he’d learned about her, so her reaction to his mother’s gesture was tentative, almost as if she didn’t know how to respond.

Ahka’aweh stepped back, and the two women smiled tentatively at each other before Ahka’aweh looked at Baa’koa.

“I think I should join Ike and the others,” Tessa finally said, “and help them set up camp for tonight. I should let you and your mother catch up.”

Their eyes held for a moment, then Tessa nodded at Ahka’aweh and led her horse away, heading across the village to where her men were setting up camp.

Baa’koa’s eyes followed her. His heart was torn. He was happy to be home and resume his life as a hunter, but the loss of his father and brother had changed so much. He’d never expected to be pulled back into the white man’s world. His life had been so simple before. Now, he was torn between two different worlds.

His mother stood beside him, watching Tessa disappear among her men. Her gaze swept across the rest of the village, where the returning warriors were greeted by their families.

“There will be a big celebration in honor of your return,” she said, turning back to him.

Baa’koa nodded, still staring after Tessa.

After a moment of pause, Ahka’aweh touched his arm. Baa’koa turned his head to her.

“I see you are troubled, son.” Her voice was calm but knowing. Her eyes met his, searching, as if she could see past the mask he wore.

Baa’koa shifted uncomfortably, running a hand over his face. “There is much on my mind,” he admitted, his voice rough with emotions he hadn’t voiced out loud.

She nodded slowly, understanding without words. “I can guess what weighs on you. This white woman you bring to our village. She has captured your heart.”

Baa’koa stared at his mother. She’d seen right through him in the span of a few minutes.

“What does her heart feel for you?”

Baa’koa shook his head. “I am not sure,” he confessed. “We share a connection, but I do not know what is truly in her heart.”

Ahka’aweh nodded in quiet understanding. “The answer will come to you when the time is right.”

“I cannot ask her to live in a world that is not hers,” Baa’koa said. Even if Tessa shared his feelings, he couldn’t ask her to live a life she might not want. She’d already had to do that when she was a child when she’d been made to live and work on a farm.

“Your past is calling to you, Baa’koa.” A twinge of sadness clouded Ahka’aweh’s eyes, but she smiled. “You must look to the future, and decide which path is right for you.”

Baa’koa’s stomach tightened. “My heart is here, with my people.” He didn’t say that his heart was also with Tessa, and he didn’t know what to do.

If Tessa were a woman of the A’aninin, he would present her family with gifts of horses and other items of value. If they accepted, she would then live with him near his mother’s lodge. Things were different in the white man’s world, and he certainly couldn’t pay a visit to her father. He’d vowed to kill Calvin Beckett if they ever crossed paths, and Tessa would never forgive him for that.

Akha’aweh patted his arm. She offered a final quiet smile, then said, “I must go now and help the other women prepare for the celebration of your return and victory.”

Baa’koa stood in silence as his mother rushed across the village to join the other women at the community fire, his mind as conflicted as before.

Sudden fear gripped him, the kind that was all-consuming and knew no reason. It came out of nowhere. He was no stranger to fear. Certainly as a boy when he’d seen his father murdered and had to run for his life. Cold fear had gripped him when he’d held Nahko’tah in his arms as he lay dying, and seeing Matso’onah’s lifeless body. Now, fear took hold of him again at the thought of losing Tessa. Perhaps it was best not to feel anything and spare himself that pain.

Darkness fell across the village. Baa’koa walked slowly through the heart of the camp, his eyes scanning the faces of his people in the firelight as they laughed and celebrated around the communal fire. He’d been pulled into the celebration by the warriors, who all boasted of his bravery and leadership. Even Ahan had recounted how Baa’koa had saved his life.

Tessa sat among her men. They’d all been watching the celebration with keen interest. Now, she was in a lively conversation with Ike and the others. His steps slowed, then stopped. The flickering light from the fire framed Tessa’s face as she sat on a small log surrounded by the trappers – Ike, Todd, and a few others. She was at ease with her men.

“Josiah wants to leave at daybreak. Says he’s given away all his trinkets here today, and needs to get back to the business of trapping,” Todd was saying. “What are your plans?” He glanced from Ike to Tessa.

The words drifted to where Baa’koa stood and hit him like an arrow to the chest.

“Ike and the others are heading back to St. Louis. I have to go, too.” Tessa said, her voice full of determination. She shifted on the log, and paused for a moment. “We’ve got to cash in on the beaver pelts.”

Ike nodded “The Missouri Fur Company made a lot of profit this season. Your father will expect no less, and he’ll be proud of you for what you’ve accomplished.”

Todd leaned in, his tone light as always. “And here I thought you’d stay with us, Tessa. We could use a sharp shot like you around here.”

Tessa smiled. It was a soft, fleeting expression, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I wish I could, but I have to finish what I started. And…I have some other pressing business in St. Louis that requires my attention.”

Her words struck Baa’koa like a blow from a war club. A cold wave of realization washed over him, hard and fast. Tessa was returning to the life she knew. The life she enjoyed. The life that didn’t include him. Business and profit for her father were her focus. It had always been her focus.

Why had he allowed himself to imagine something different, that Tessa would willingly choose to stay here, with him. Deep down, he’d known. Tessa wasn’t meant to be here, with his people. She belonged to her world, a world that was so far removed from his own. Her words made it final.

A twinge of bitterness curled up in his chest and twisting his heart. Baa’koa took a step back, his pulse quickening as he turned away from the firelight. Tessa was still talking to her companions, but her words faded as he walked further into the shadows. He didn’t want to hear more. He couldn’t hear more.

He moved quickly, heading into the shadows of the woods, where he could be alone. The trees seemed to welcome him home as the noise of the camp faded away. The familiar chirps of the nocturnal bugs and creatures were the only sounds he cared to hear right now.

He stopped when he reached the edge of the creek that flowed through this part of the woods. Moonlight filtered down through the trees as if smiling down at him.

It was good he’d overheard her plans. Now, she didn’t need to know what was in his heart and that he loved her. He couldn’t keep her here, in a world she didn’t belong to or wanted any part of.

He crossed his arms over his chest and stared into the darkness, trying to fight the growing sense of loss. This time, he wasn’t losing someone to an untimely death, but the pain was just the same. Steeling his heart was the only way to break free of the agony.

It’s for the best . She’s better off in her own world.

The thought didn’t make the ache go away even as his path became clear now. He was meant to walk alone. He’d always been meant to walk alone. In time, he could let go of the love he had for her, no matter how deep it ran.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft crunch of footsteps on the forest floor. Baa’koa tensed, instinctively turning toward the sound. His heart lurched. Tessa emerged from the shadows, her silhouette framed by the soft light of the moon. She was walking toward him, her posture a mix of determination and quiet concern.

“Adrian?” she called. Then her eyes were on him. “Josiah told me he saw you go into the woods. Why aren’t you at your celebration? Everyone is so happy and proud of your return.”

She stopped a few feet away, looking at him with a mixture of relief and something else – something unspoken. Her eyes searched his as if trying to read the silence between them.

Baa’koa stared at her. She was standing there in front of him, but already, she seemed so far away.

“I come here to think. To be alone,” he said, his voice without emotion.

“I was hoping we had some time to sit together by the fire,” Tessa said. “Josiah and his crew are leaving tomorrow. I…Ike and my men will be leaving, too. We have to get back to St. Louis with the pelts before the weather changes. If we don’t leave soon, we won’t make it before winter.”

There was a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes as she stepped closer. Her words hit him harder than he expected. The finality of them, the certainty in her voice, made it all the more real. She was leaving. She was going back to the life that had always been hers, the life that didn’t include him because he no longer lived in that world.

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. A sharp prickle of anger crept into his chest. He should have never allowed himself to feel anything. All his life, he’d known loss. Loss of the people he loved. This time, however, he was in control. He couldn’t lose something that had never been his to begin with. There was no need to reveal his feelings. She had already chosen what mattered to her.

“Dawn comes early,” he said. There was a cold edge to his words. “You should go back to your camp.”

Tessa dropped her gaze, and she let out a quiet breath then looked up at him again. Her hand reached out to touch his arm. “I was hoping–”

“I have a parting gift for you,” he interrupted, his tone clipped. He didn’t need to hear her say any more, and the longer she remained to talk, the more his heart ached, so he cut her off. But deep down, he couldn’t let her leave without giving her something that held deep meaning for him. The thought had come to him in an instant.

Baa’koa reached up and lifted the cord that held the small leather sheath he wore around his neck over his head. The sheath that held the small knife his real mother had given him when he was just a boy. He had carried it close to his heart all these years.

Tessa’s gaze followed his movements. Her eyes widened with confusion, but she didn’t speak.

He took a deep breath as the weight of the moment pressed on him. “This was my mother’s gift to me,” Baa’koa said quietly. “I carried it against my heart for many years, to remember her, and my boyhood home.”

He stepped forward and placed the cord around Tessa’s neck. “I want you to have it now,” he continued. “To remember.”

Tessa’s eyes flickered to the knife and then back to him. There was confusion on her face and in her eyes.

“Adrian, I—” she started, but he stopped her by raising his hand.

“There is nothing more that needs to be said. I am home now to take my place among my people, and your place is in St. Louis…with your fur company and your father.”

His hand lingering on the leather sheath for a moment longer before he stepped back. His heart was splintering into countless pieces. He had to walk away now before it tore him apart.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Her voice rose in anger. “But you keep interrupting.” She reached for his arm again, but he pulled away.

“Enough,” he growled, his voice so forceful it quieted the crickets momentarily. Fear of loss squeezed his chest, and blinded everything around him. The only way to combat the fear, to make it go away, was to lash out. He hardened his heart to deliver a final blow.

“We have accomplished much together. You helped me avenge my one father, but know that if I ever cross paths with Calvin Beckett, I will avenge the other. Goodbye, Tessa Beckett.” He spat the last part of her name, then pushed past her and headed deeper into the forest.