Page 13 of Heart of the Highlands: The Rose (Protectors of the Crown #6)
The fire crackled in the hearth, its warmth casting a soft glow inside the solar, keeping the cold at bay. After being served a warm meal of roasted lamb and root vegetables, Abby was given a hot bath and a fresh gown. She was grateful for their hospitality.
She sat at a cushioned chair near the back of the small room while the other ladies of the castle busied, who sat at the far end, themselves with embroidery and needlework. Situated by the window, she gazed out the rugged terrain, her mind consumed by the past few days. In just a few short days, she’d grown quite fond of Aiden, and being apart from him now, even being only a few doors down from him, she felt a yearning to be near him. The future, however, and what was to come, she did not know what to expect.
Just as she leaned back in her chair, the door creaked open. An instant smile came to her face with anticipation that Aiden had returned as promised. She turned to see not Aiden, but her cousin Bella entering the room, her silken silks rustling with every step as she made her way toward Abby.
“Oh, my goodness, cousin. Are you alright? Leland has been looking for you for days. You must have been so scared being out there all alone.” Bella said, with deep concern etched on her face.
“I am more than fine,” Abby admitted. “And I wasn’t alone. I came across a man in danger who needed my help. It was quite the adventure.”
“Well, I am so happy you have returned. There is so much I have been wanting to tell you. When I called upon you, I was told you had been ill, and then you were missing. But I have exciting news to share. I am to be married to Laird McKeirnan in just a few days. Isn’t that exciting?”
Abby’s heart skipped a beat. Laird McKeirnan? Her Laird McKeirnan? The man she’d rescued from the woods? The man refused to leave her side ever since. The man she had most certainly fallen in love with? Her chest tightened at the thought. Abby swallowed hard, her fingers gripping the edges of her seat.
“Laird McKeirnan of Clan Rose?”
“Yes. He had signed the marriage contract with my father the night of the masquerade.”
Abby’s heart sunk deeper with every passing moment.
Engaged?
She repeated the word in her mind like an unholy chant. Her mind swirled with confusion and…anger. If he was engaged, why hadn’t he said anything? He had been so kind and caring, and if he had any balls under that kilt, he should have said something. It wouldn’t have mattered if he were engaged or not. That most certainly would not have stopped her from rescuing him that night, but it would have prevented her from cozying up to him under that tree or allowing him to stay in her bedchamber, whether it was on the floor or not. Anger began to boil over, but her face and reaction did not express her feelings. She sat frozen in her seat.
In any other situation, she would have been overflowing with joy, her heart dancing at the news of her cousin's engagement. His betrothal to Bella, a woman he had just met, would typically have seemed a charming and delightful union worthy of celebration. Yet, instead of a radiant smile lighting up her features, Abby grimaced, her heart heavy with unspoken emotions. The corners of her lips tugged downward, reflecting a tumultuous storm within as she grappled with feelings far more complex than mere disappointment.
Deep down, in the shadowy recesses of her heart where Abby dared not venture too deeply, she grappled with the poignant truth that gnawed at her soul. With his noble title, Aiden was a laird destined for greatness, and in his world, legacy was everything. She understood, with a heavy heart, that she could never offer him the future that Bella could. The weight of that realization settled like a stone in her stomach; Aiden needed an heir to carry on his lineage and fulfill the expectations bound to his birthright—something she felt, with growing despair, she could never provide.
How could she have allowed herself to dream? This was nothing more than an unrealistic fantasy. Alys was right, and she should have listened.
“I am verra happy for ye, Bella. I truly am. Ye will make a wonderful wife and mother,” Abby said, rising from her chair. “Will ye excuse me?”
Abby turned sharply away from the solar, her breath catching in her throat. As she made her way through the cold, stone corridors of the castle, she took steadying breaths, wiping away the tears that had begun to fall despite her best effort to keep them in. She didn’t know if she could face him. Seeing him would only break her heart. She’d leave tonight before he’d have a chance to summon her. It was time to go home.
She stepped back into the dimly lit chamber, where the faint scent of fresh linen lingered in the air, remnants of the housemaid's diligent work. Her gown delicately hung clean and dry while her slippers, neatly placed beside it, awaited her return. With a quick exhale, she gathered the gown into her hands and shoved it into Leland’s travel bag with a decisive motion, a mix of urgency and determination coursing through her veins. She’d convince him to leave once the council meeting was over. She knew in her heart Aiden deserved a chance to explain, but it wouldn’t change anything. In her vision, she saved him. She fulfilled her purpose. There was no reason to stay. No reason to say anymore. He’d marry Bella, and that was the way of it.
Abby spent the rest of the evening in the stables helping to ready the horses. She had brushed down her mare, a sandy-colored draft horse named Wind Runner, known for her quick speed and agility, and fastened the saddle. She wanted to be all set for when Leland was ready, not to mention the stable boy had trouble approaching the mare as she did not take kindly to strangers. Only Abby knew how to calm the beast by bribing her with an apple first. For anyone else who’d tried to mount her, the horse would kick her front legs up into the air and boot them off.
“Abby, are ye in here?” she heard a voice call out.
“I’m o’er here, Leland,” she answered buckling the last strap around the mare’s midsection.
She turned to welcome him, but as her gaze lifted to meet the approaching figure, her heart skipped a beat. It was Aiden.
“Are ye leaving?” he asked, his voice tinged with a sadness that weighed heavily on Abby’s heart. She couldn’t help but feel the depth of his disappointment, a feeling that mirrored her own.
“Aye. Leland is expected to return home and I am sure my sister is worried about me,” she said, bringing her attention back to the horse, to shield her emotions.
“I was hoping ye’d stay,” he replied.
“Bella De LaCroix is my cousin. Did ye know that?” she questioned, allowing him the opportunity to acknowledge her feelings. “And I heard congratulations are in order. It all makes sense now. That night in the garden. That was ye. What I don’t get is why ye kept it from me. But honestly, it doesn’t matter. I am no one of circumstance, and it was by mere chance that I even came across ye in those woods, but I have done my duty and offered my service, and now it is time for me to return home.”
“It’s true. I accepted the marriage contract, but only to ensure my clan’s future.” Abby’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and Aiden felt a sharp ache in his chest, terrified that she might pull away and he would lose her forever. He gently took hold of her arms, hoping to provide some solace. His voice wavered as he spoke. “Abby, I wanted to tell ye the moment I realized it was ye in the garden. I never betrayed ye; I would never lie to ye. Somewhere between that day in the garden and this morning by the river, I fell in love with ye. I’ve loved ye since the very first moment our paths crossed. It was at the market many months ago. I saw ye, and ye’ve lingered in my thoughts ever since. I didn’t know it was ye until I saw ye again after we escaped the camp. I thought I was dreaming, seeing an angel, but it was you coming to rescue me. And that’s when it dawned on me—those dreams were about ye all along. It has always been ye, Abby.”
They stood before each other, enveloped in a heavy silence that seemed to stretch on for an infinity.
“Please, say something,” he implored, unable to bear the quiet any longer.
“But you’re not mine to have,” Abby whispered, her voice breaking with sorrow. “Ye are engaged to Bella.”
“Bella is no’ the woman I am in love wit. It’s ye, Abigail Sinclair.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I cannae marry ye.”
“Why?”
“I cannae tell ye.”
“I would spend every last day of my life loving ye. But to live wit’ out ye, I can no’ imagine a greater pain.”
“Ye have an obligation. A duty. A contract that ye yerself admitted that ye must follow through.”
“And what of the obligation to my heart? Abby, please,” he pleaded. “Tell me ye dinna feel the same. Tell me ye dinna love me, and I will go and marry Bella and move on wit’ my life.”
“I cannae do that. Because it would be a lie. But in order for ye to keep your title and lands, ye must produce an heir. That is something I simply cannae do.”
“We dinna have to have an heir right away,” he said, wiping a tear that escaped her eyes.
“Yer no’ listening, Aiden. I can ne’er bear children. Ever.”
He reached out, gently cupping her cheek, a tender gesture sending shivers down her spine.
“I dinna understand, but I do know this, I’d rather spend one night wit’ ye than a lifetime wit’ out ye. Ye fill a void I dinna know I had. I feel complete every time I’m near ye. Whatever may come, we will figure it out…together.”
Aiden leaned in closer until the distance between them had gone. His lips brushed against hers, soft at first but then deepened, turning into something more urgent, more desperate. The way her body responded, he could feel the passion growing between them. But as quick as it came, it faded. Abby pulled away.
“I’m sorry. I can’t. I can't give you what you need. You have a duty, a responsibility, and I cannot give ye the future ye and yer clan needs. I am leaving today for Sinclair Hall. And you will marry Bella. You have to. Goodbye, Aiden.” she said before turning and escaping down the hall.
Aiden stood frozen in the hallway, the echo of her footsteps fading, feeling the weight of her absence and ache in his heart. Aiden stood there, rooted to the spot, his heart pounding. His face had gone pale as if her words had struck him harder than a sword. He didn’t understand why she was rejecting him. He felt a strong urge to chase after her, but it seemed as though she had already made a choice for both of them, leaving him with a sense of helplessness and the finality of a broken heart.