Page 18 of Healing the Leonid Doctor’s Heart (Felix Orbus Galaxy #6)

D id he choose me because I was all that was available? He couldn’t wait. What if he’s barred from his own trials once they’re official? I feel like that’s something that would happen, what with ensuring the accuracy of a study.

Abigail left Kaylie perched on Jaxson’s toolbox as he and Lycen cleaned out a bay and checked the docking procedures. The ship was about to get busy, wasn’t it? In a few cycles, anyway.

She walked into her own room with her lips pressed into a thin line, thoughts racing . There will be new candidates. Young candidates, beautiful ones, accomplished ones, ones with larger breasts and more experience in bed.

She sat down abruptly on the edge of her bed, head in her hands as if she could squeeze her brain into submission.

She didn’t know if Marcus would want a different woman, or if he even wanted her at this moment.

He’d offered her a position on this new medical team. He knew she wanted to help the Felid people. Did he think her help would be limited to office work? Had he suddenly decided she was unlikely to have his child or anyone’s child?

Am I a failure, and now he’s humoring me?

Was I just a convenient option?

Think of something else. Look at the notes. You have a job, you’re earning credits, you can start to build your own life, repay Rupex in some fashion for housing you and feeding you.

Abi opened her personal computer and swiped open the files Marcus had sent. The first file was a list of qualifications he thought the surrogacy program applicants should have, including a blood test with clear hormonal markers indicating they were fertile, a series of health screenings, and...

“They should be between 20 and 32 years of age.” Abigail crashed back onto her bed, sprawling in despair. She closed her eyes, her chest aching. She was over a decade out of the “desirable” range. If she’d applied for the program, she wouldn’t have been accepted.

Last night’s sexual confidence felt like a bad dream, a practical joke, a prank Marcus had played on her.

There is no way he believes I can be a mother or a wife.

She tried to erase all the memories of their passion, of his words, of the feel of his paws caressing her as he whispered, “My Queen.”

I was the happiest I’d ever been.

For one whole day.

Even though she told herself she was being silly, Abigail curled into a ball, knees to her chest, and cried.

“ABI? CAN I COME IN ?”

Abi raised her head and realized she had cried herself to sleep, and now Marcus’ voice was booming in the intercom.

“Come in!” she called, sitting up, wiping her face for traces of long-dried tears, knowing she must look horrible. Her eyes were probably puffy, and her lips were dry.

He’s your employer now, isn’t he? Whether he’ll ever be anything more doesn’t matter. If you don’t want to be fired, you’d better be calm and polite, she coached herself as the door slid up and revealed Marcus standing outside.

“I’ve gone over the first few files,” she said with a forced smile.

“Fuck the files. I did something wrong, and I know it. I’m here to fix it.

I’m not stupid, Abi—no, I am stupid, because I hurt you.

I did something, I didn’t realize it was wrong, and I still don’t know what I did, but I’m not stupid enough not to try to fix it.

I’m not going to avoid it and hope it works itself out. ”

She had to admit that it was a refreshing approach, but it didn’t fix matters. “I’m fine, Marcus.”

“No, you’re not. Things were so good between us last night. Now things are stiff, and not in the ‘I’m so aroused by my Queen and I cannot get enough of her’ way.”

“Marcus... I can’t be your Queen. I can’t be your surrogate. Look at the age range you suggested. Twenty to thirty-two years old. I’m forty-five!”

He looked surprised. “Is that what’s wrong? No, that can’t be all of it.”

“Well, no, but it’s some of it,” she admitted, hugging herself and shuddering as the post-sleep tremors overtook her.

“I’m making you some tea and something to eat.”

“You don’t have to.”

“No, but I want to. I want you to be my Queen, Abi, and that means I want to care for you,” Marcus said, stepping close to her, but stopping before he touched her.

“That age range isn’t for me. It’s for the candidate pool.

Statistically speaking, and by numbers, nothing more, a woman on Sapien-Three has a peak fertility rate during those years.

The rate drops before and after that window.

It doesn’t mean there aren’t women who are having children well before or after those numbers.

But for this trial to work, show success, and expand, I have to give it every chance of success.

That’s it. That’s why I picked the numbers.

If this were... If this were not about a medical trial, I’d say to hell with every rule or regulation.

Let people find themselves whatever suits them.

But it’s not. Leonid Kings and Knights are going to risk their family’s lineage and their fortunes on this trial.

Women from your planet are going to have to travel to a new galaxy and have sex with a stranger, give birth, and bring hope to a whole generation of suffering Felids.

Abi, I can’t jeopardize this initial study.

I also specified women with hormonal markers in certain ranges, too.

Not just the clinically acceptable ranges, but the peak of the ranges. ”

“Oh.” Of course. When she considered it rationally, she felt silly, but Marcus didn’t make her feel that way. There was pleading in his eyes and his voice, his paws held out to her.

She took one. “You said Felids get attached to their women. Possessive.”

“It’s true.”

“And I’m here. Available. It was either me or Kaylie, and—”

“What?” Marcus snatched his paw back, massive jaw slack with shock. “I’m sorry, I said we get attached and possessive of the Queens we’re with because it’s true. But it’s not any or all females. It’s who we choose .”

“Right, and there’s not a lot of choice on this ship.” Abigail gestured vaguely with one hand. “Not a lot of Queens around here, are there? Not even in the whole galaxy, let alone the ship.”

“Before you, there was Layla, Wendy, Jade, and Nessa, not to mention all the lovely young Queens who had been sent to Lynx-Nineteen. I saw Layla before Rupex did, and I took care of Nessa for days while she was recovering, before Kamau became her lover. I’ve had choices, Abigail.

I happen to prefer you. I choose you, because of your smile, and your sweetness, and your good, sturdy heart, and this quiet invincibility you give off.

Your age and your convenience don’t mean a damn thing to me.

” With a sudden snarl, he scooped her up, kissing her hard as he carried her in a cradle hold.

“Do you need me to remind you of how much I want you to be my Queen?”

God, yes, she wanted to be reminded. But.

.. “But you gave me that job offer. That one, to be some sort of database warmer, not one for being a surrogate.

Do you think I won't be able to do it? Am I only going to be useful to this program as someone who can handle files and data?” she asked in a small voice, trying not to let herself give in and snuggle into his strong, furry arms.

“I need someone excellent on my team. That’s you.

Do I want you to work by my side because you’re smart and reliable, not to mention kind and compassionate?

Manes and tails, of course I do! Do I want you to be in the trial?

No. Why? Because I want you to myself. I want to be the one to make love to you.

To fuck your pretty little pussy and breed you, to fill you with my cum.

If we have a dozen cubs or no cubs at all, it doesn’t matter to me.

I realize that more with every passing moment.

Abi, you make me happy. Just you. Not the possibility of cubs. ”

“Marcus. There must be some part of you that wants children?”

“Yes, but the biggest part of me right now—” they shared a smirk, “I meant most of my thoughts, Abigail, you minx—are focused on making you happy. I want to make you as happy as you make me.”

“Oh, God, you do,” she admitted, giving into his embrace, mouth finding his. “These last few weeks began as the worst of my life and are now the best.”

“Mine, as well. Not the worst weeks, but some of the best. Having you here has been like finding an old friend I never knew I had. And by Bastet, the things I want to do with that friend... That’s new.”

“For me, too. You—”

“Awaken something in you?”

“Something passionate and selfish.”

“You, selfish? Never in your life, Abigail.”

“Then maybe my desire to help you have cubs is a mix of selfishness and altruism, but I still want to try. I want the injections, I want to be a mother. For your cubs—no one else’s.

” She realized that in a heartbeat, too, because maybe there would be other Felids, Felids desperate enough not to care about her age or her inexperience—but she didn’t want them. She wanted Marcus.

“Good. I’m about to make you happier still,” he whispered, hurrying back to the bed.

“Wait, wait,” she whispered between kisses. “The booster? Is today the day I should have it?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care. Don’t want to wait.” Marcus shook his head.

Abigail thought about protesting. She didn’t want to wait, either, but she felt like something rare and precious had been given to her—a chance for happiness, success, and a family, all wrapped up in one, and despite her lover’s reassurances, she felt like all of her chances would be improved by the compatibility booster.

“But I want your baby,” she said aloud, not caring if it sounded needy or clichéd.

“We can’t have one without the shots, so. ..”

Marcus let out a low growl that sent flutters flying through her, making her toes curl. “You shouldn’t say things like that to me.”

“What? Why? Don’t you—”