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”What are you doing here?” I ask, but I don”t actually care. I feel like the bottom dropped out of my chest. It”s heavy, like I might be having a goddamn heart attack.

His eyebrow raises. ”What are you doing here?”

That”s a fair question. This place—gay or not—isn”t exactly my scene. I shrug. ”Somewhere to go. Needed someone to talk to,” I say, gesturing to my topless friend.

He looks even more confused now.

”Hey, you must be the Jack,” Troy chimes in.

Jack makes a face, clearly picking up on the way Troy says the Jack. So it”s obvious I”ve been talking about him.

He holds out his hand to the man I used to think of as Cowboy Jack.

”My name”s Troy. This is my bar. Can I buy you a drink?”

I try not to laugh when I notice Jack trying to covertly wipe his hand off after shaking Troy”s hand. He”s always covered in fucking tanning oil, or whatever it is.

”Well, I don”t know about Luke here, but Jack isn”t twenty-one yet—” Wait. ”Shit. It”s your birthday today, right?”

Luke, who seemed surprised that I knew his name, looks up at Jack. ”I didn”t know it was your birthday. Happy birthday, man!”

”Guess I forgot,” Jack says awkwardly.

Troy puts his hands on his hips. ”How the fuck do you forget your own birthday, especially your twenty-first!?”

Jack shrugs, clearly not enjoying the attention. His eyes lock with mine. ”Been preoccupied, I guess.”

Despite Lynyrd Skynyrd playing on the Jukebox, the giggling woman currently riding the mechanical bull, and all the loud chatter of people around us, my attention hones in on Jack, and everything gets quiet.

He swallows, and my eyes break from his gaze to watch the movement. Jack looks down at Luke, who is nudging him.

”What?” He rolls his eyes. ”Oh, for fuck”s sake. Troy, this is my friend Luke. He”s super smart and hates monster truck rallies.”

”Ugh, who doesn”t?” Troy says, and reaches his hand out to Luke, who doesn”t seem to mind the oily handshake one bit.

”Alright, we need shots! Hey y”all! Shots on the house for my friend Jack”s twenty-first birthday!” Everyone in the place—less than a dozen people really, cheer. People come up to pat Jack on the back as Troy leads him up to the bar to pour the shots, yelling out and asking who wants to do a body shot off the hunky football player. Jack hates every minute of it. And I love every minute of watching him squirm.

”You doing a shot, Daddy?” Troy yells over to me, and I shake my head.

”I”ll drive,” I say, and he nods approvingly.

One of the things I came here for—a fucking bar, of all places—was talking about giving up drinking again. Because I wanted to be clearheaded if or when the authorities come to talk to me about my statement. I didn”t expect that Jack would want to file charges, but maybe after talking to the counselor, he”d feel differently. Or maybe that bitch Aniyah would cause more problems. Either way, I wanted to be ready.

And eventually, I wanted to be able to make a clear decision about what to do next. Most of that relied on talking to Jack, but I was still working myself up to reaching out. I don”t want him to feel like he has to have anything to do with me, but I wanted to let him know it”s an option.

”Daddy?” Jack says incredulously, sitting down at the table next to me.

I chuckle and shrug. ”He”s a character.”

”Seems nice enough,” he says quietly, his fingertips reaching to skim my thigh.

”Oh yeah, he”s real friendly. Maybe a little overly so,” I admit with a laugh, wondering when I should admit that I almost let him give me a blow job because I was pathetically trying to pretend he was Jack. ”You get used to him. He”s a good guy.”

”You come here often, then?”

”First time was the night I saw your engagement announcement. I was in kind of a bad way.” Jack looks down and nods. ”I almost?—”

”I don”t need to know,” he says. ”All I need to know is about now. And the future.”

Troy comes over with an entire tray of fucking jello shots.

”We”ll talk tomorrow, after you recover from whatever happens tonight,” I say, laughing at the way Jack eyes the little cups of red gelatin. It doesn’t bother me at all to be around the alcohol and people drinking. I nudge the tray towards him.

”I don”t really feel like getting drunk,” he says. ”I just want to know that we”re okay.”

I smile despite myself. Uncertain, insecure Jack is almost cute. Scooting my chair back, I pull him over so he”s sitting in my lap. The unexpected move, paired with the fact that we”ve never been in a situation where we could be together in public in any way, shape, or form, has him looking around the room with wide eyes. But no one gives a fuck here. There”s zero judgment in this place. And I think it”s the perfect place for us to try on this new version of us where we don”t have to hide.

”Scared, baby bulldog?”

”Aren”t you?”

”A little. But more than that…” I lean forward and whisper in his ear. ”I want nothing more than to watch you ride that bull, and then I want to take you in the back and suck you until you can”t stand.”

Jack”s ears turn red, and I watch his Adam”s apple bob.

He thinks about it for a minute before he rolls his shoulders, reaching for one of the jello shots.

“Never could tell you no,” he says before looking me right in the eye as he runs his tongue along the edge of the jello and then sucks it into his mouth. Troy whoops as he feeds Luke his second or third jello shot.

”Only the one,” he says, holding a finger up towards Troy as if to warn him not to get excited.

Then he stands up and faces me before he pulls his hoodie and t-shirt off at once, throwing them in my lap. My cock woke up the moment I noticed him walking in here, but now I”m rock fucking hard in an instant. Everyone in the room turns to look, whistling. Troy rubs his hands down his own sixpack, muttering something about needing to work out more.

Jack”s body is a work of fucking art, like he was chiseled from smooth granite.

Despite how much I know he hates the attention, he keeps his eyes on me, smirking when people start whistling louder as he makes his way to the bull and climbs on.

”I got you, Daddy,” Troy says as he goes to mess with the controls. He turns the bull, so it”s facing me, and then tells him what to do before he starts the ride. He has him ride it a little fast at first, although nothing like an actual bull ride, and then he slows it down. And just like I fantasized that first night I walked into this place, I get a front row view of every ab, arm, shoulder, and back muscle rippling and writhing as Jack tunes out everyone else and just looks at me. He rolls his hips so sinfully, I picture the night he got on top of me and almost cum in my pants. Finally, it all becomes too much. I look over at Troy, who gives me a knowing wink. ”You got that one?” I ask, pointing to Luke. He nods and gestures me on.

Without any further preamble, and to the delight of the small crowd, I walk over to Jack and lift him in a fireman”s carry. He protests, laughing and telling me to put him the fuck down, but I carry him out of the bullpen, past where our friends both swat Jack on the ass as we walk by, and into the back hallway.

”Where the fuck are we going?” He asks, laughing as he struggles, and I make my way through to the back of the building.

”Sucking your cock isn”t going to be enough. I need to be buried inside you. Fuck, I might need you buried inside me.”

Whatever we can do to get as close as possible, to burrow under each other”s skin and know that we”re both in this fully—that”s what I want. The way he groans lets me know he”s on board with that plan, and I all but start jogging.

I open a door, and we”re both hit with the chilly night air. Especially Jack, whose hoodie and shirt are both still at the table in the bar. But it doesn”t last long. There”s a small duplex apartment back here. Troy lives on one side, and he offered to let me stay in the empty apartment, where he often lets drunk customers that can”t get home safely stay the night. So it”s where I”ve been calling home for the past two days since stopping by out of a lack of anything better to do. It wasn”t likely that anyone would find me here, so it seemed a good place to go. I”m still not sure how Jack found me, but right now all I want to focus on is how happy I am that he did.

Jack isn”t light by any means, so when I throw him down on the mattress, he hits pretty hard. I start to apologize, but he reaches up and pulls me down on top of him.

We fumble to take off our clothes, alternating between helping each other and tearing off our own clothes. Jack is naked in record time, considering he was halfway there, and he wastes exactly zero time pushing me down and swallowing my dick. I throw my head back and fist the sheets.

”Fuck, you”re good at that,” I grunt out, clenching my abs as Jack”s throat ripples around the head of my cock as he swallows, then runs his tongue all the way up to tease around the tip. When the tip of his tongue flicks at my slit, my whole body jerks and my cock starts spurting cum wildly, like a fucking pre-pubescent teenager.

”I had a good teacher,” he says darkly, pumping my cock until every last drop is spent. He starts lapping it off my abs. ”That was so fucking hot.”

”Use it,” I say, pushing myself up the bed, and Jack understands my meaning. He swipes his hand through the mess of cum on my stomach and palms it over his cock. ”Don”t stop,” I tell him, my voice coming out husky with lust. I watch him stroke himself, sitting back against the pillows and opening my legs. Gathering some of the mess I made, I start rubbing it around my asshole, lubing myself up for him.

Normally I”m the top, but there”s something… I don”t know, more intimate, about being the bottom, when you”re normally the dominant one. By giving up that control, I feel like I’m giving him part of me.

And it also feels really fucking good.

Jack crawls up from the bottom of the bed, taking my half hard cock in his mouth. By the time he”s licked and sucked all the remnants of my cum off my shaft, I”m erect and fucking ready to go all goddamn night. With his mouth full of spit and cum, Jack leans down between my legs and spits, rubbing his tongue around my hole before pressing a finger inside. I moan at the intrusion, and gasp when he takes me in his mouth again, adding a second finger. He alternates between sucking and fingering me, and spitting and licking my ass, until I can take a third finger comfortably. Then he lines up his cock and presses inside me.

He bottoms out, and then pulls out and thrusts back in a few times. He watches his cock move in and out of me for a while, before looking up at me with lust blown eyes. Pushing me back further on the pillows, he licks my neck and sucks at my Adam”s apple before his thrusts speed up and his hands press on the back of my thighs. The angle hits me just right, slamming against my prostate. The bone deep spasm of pleasure that runs through me with every thrust has me yelling out his name, until he”s thrusting faster and harder, until he”s rocking into me and moaning as his cock pulses inside me.

”Oh fuck, oh fuck,” he says as he cums deep in my ass.

”Oh fuck is right,” I say, hovering at the edge of another orgasm.

When Jack pulls out of me, I flip him around and make him sit on my cock.

”Ride me like you rode that bull, baby.” His hips roll and undulate as he works himself up and down my cock, grinding down on me.

I watch closely every time he lifts off my shaft and sinks back down, and when he starts to moan and whimper, I reach around and find him hard again for me.

He lays back against my chest, grinding his ass on my cock while I jerk him hard and fast. When he starts to get close again, our bodies dripping with sweat, he pants and leans forward, riding me in a reverse cowboy. I drive my hips up into him as he bounces up and down my cock while stroking himself. I can feel when he”s about to come. His balls draw up tight to his body and his ass squeezes me harder.

Fuck.

”Come for me, Jack.”

He cries out at the words, and spears himself harder, meeting me thrust for thrust, until we”re both erupting again, yelling out each other”s names.

When we finally collapse, too fucking exhausted to even get up and wash off, I pull his back against my front and kiss the back of his neck, then his shoulder.

He”s quiet, and I can tell by the silhouette of his eyelashes that he”s awake, probably thinking too hard.

”Hey,” I say, nudging him with my nose. ”Overthinking is my job.”

”I just don”t know what”s going to happen.”

I think about it for a moment.

”Do you want to be with me?” I ask.

”Yes,” he whispers, like the truth frightens him.

It frightens me, too.

”I want to be with you, Jack. For now, let”s let that be enough. And we can figure out the rest as we go along.”

He relaxes in my arms, and I watch him fall asleep. We have time to figure things out.

For now, we can just focus on learning how to love each other out loud.