Page 97 of Have a Bear-y Little Christmas

Sick? Oh no.Oh no!That anxiety I’d tried to tamp down surged forward, and I knocked again.

“I’m gonna come in, all right?”

“Yeah, you probably should.”

I entered the bathroom, not sure what to expect, but at least it was nothing horrific. Max was sitting on the closed toilet, still in his pajamas, while the shower ran at full blast with the curtain open.

“Close the door, please. You’re letting out all the steam.”

He looked completely rundown, the exact opposite of how he’d gone to bed the night before. While I hated seeing him this way and my body was on red alert, part of me was so proud of him for trying to ease his symptoms.

“What’s wrong, buddy? You got a cough?”

He nodded weakly, finally lifting his head to look at me with miserable eyes. My heart lurched, because he hadn’t worn that expression in ages.

“It’s okay, big man. I’ll go grab your inhaler and call the doctor. You stay in here until the water runs out. This is probably just a cold baby, no need to worry.”

“Yeah. A cold. Just like a regular kid.”

“Just like a regular kid,” I agreed.

I maintained my smile and my calm demeanor as I stepped out into the hall and shut the door, walking slowly in case he heard me. Once I was sure I was out of range, I sprinted to my bedroom and was dialing his doctor’s office before my door even fully closed.

Normally, a cold wasn’t a huge deal, and most parents wouldn’t be calling the doctor immediately. But most parents didn’t have a kid whose immune system was still building itself back from the ground up. Sometimes they went right back to normal, because kids were crazy like that, but sometimes a tinyinfection or virus could make holes in ways that would wreak absolute havoc.

I wasn’t going to give it a chance to do that.

As the phone rang, I had a horrific revelation. What if it hadn’t been his allergies bothering him? What if it had been whatever was happening now, just hidden within his cells, slowly growing in secrecy until it was time to strike?

Calm down. Don’t catastrophize. We’ve been through worse, we’ll get through this with no problem.

I tried to repeat those mantras to myself as the line rang for several centuries. But when the menu finally came up, I punched in the appropriate prompts, and finally, one of the receptionists answered, her pleasant tone a sharp contrast to the way my mood was rapidly turning.

“Good morning! How?—”

“My name is Jeannie Wolfe, my son Max Wolfe is a patient in your oncology unit. He’s currently in remission, but he woke up this morning not feeling well and I’d like to bring him in immediately.”

It wasn’t how I preferred to speak to the people who worked so hard in that medical facility, but thankfully, the receptionist seemed to understand because she didn’t miss a beat.

“Of course, Miss Wolfe, I understand. Let me check the doctor’s schedule, and I will get back to you in just a moment. Would you prefer to stay on hold or have me call you back?”

“Hold, please.” As annoying as the music would be on the line, it was so much better than the noise in my head. I was trying very hard to stop a spiral, and honestly, off-pitch, royalty free music seemed like a pretty great distraction from that.

“Understood.”

The receptionist put me on hold, but in under two minutes, she returned. “Thank you for waiting. The doctor would like youto come in as soon as possible. Do you have an idea when that would be?”

I paused, pulling my phone away from my face to check the time. Considering the traffic... “Just under an hour.”

“Perfect! We’ll see you then.”

Bbbbzzzzz.

Someone was texting me, but I couldn’t bring myself to check my phone. I was barely containing the storm within me, and if Max’s head wasn’t on my lap, I probably would have been pacing around the room.

I thought I would be assuagedonce I arrived and Dr. Byrne got a chance to look Max over. That she would tell me it was a normal cold and to baby him, but that wasn’t what happened at all.

Instead, she’d listened intently, had Max open his mouth and stick out his tongue, checked his ears, and scheduled an X-ray. Luckily, the cancer center where Max got his treatment had one on-site, so we were escorted right over there, Max in a wheelchair and wheezing ever so slightly. Unfortunately, my mind had to wrap itself around the fact thathe needed a fucking X-ray.