Page 48

Before

“Hey, Nora,” Beau called from what appeared to be a scattered pile of lumber as I crossed the distance from my backyard to his and Este’s. “You look great.”

Este was on a lounge chair in a bathing suit and sarong, reading a book about Eastern healing. “That’s because she’s got that dreamy love glow after a long weekend at the Breakers.”

I looked down at my sundress. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but maybe I was smiling a little bigger than usual.

After our epic fight, Will had booked an oceanfront suite at the famed hotel, and we spent four days on the sandy coast of Palm Beach.

After months of feeling lonely and cut out of his life, it seemed like that rocky season of our marriage was finally coming to an end.

Will was attentive and supportive again.

Even after we got back from Palm Beach, he had made time to eat dinner with me a few times a week.

I wasn’t too surprised that Beau could see the lightness of relief on my face.

The setting sun reflected a glare off the lake that made me squint as I looked back at Beau. “What are you working on?”

He gestured proudly at the pile of tools and supplies surrounding him. “Planter boxes for the garden.”

“They’ll be ready in three to five years,” Este chimed in.

Beau fired back, “What’s that healing book say about negative energy, Este?”

She rolled her eyes. “Hey, stranger.” Este patted the chaise next to her. “Come sit with me.”

“Stranger?” I dropped into the chair. “I saw you three hours ago at yoga.”

“Yeah, but we haven’t done dinner in forever. You’ve been too busy making heart eyes at Will.”

I had been making heart eyes at Will most nights.

But even on the nights that he had a work commitment or some late-night brief to write, I steered clear of dinner at Este and Beau’s.

I hadn’t seen Marcus since the night I stayed at his place.

And dinner with Este and Beau meant I might run into him.

And then I might have to talk about that awful fight again.

We’ve moved on. I’m not looking back.

“It’s good to have you back. Can I get you a drink?” Beau offered on his way to the house. “Marcus is making margaritas in the kitchen.”

“Marcus is here?” My stomach lurched.

“You think I’d let Beau use power tools without adult supervision? I made him show me where his living will is before I even let them go to the hardware store.”

I tried to laugh, but it wasn’t convincing. “I’ll pass on the margarita, but thanks.”

Este handed me her glass of rosé with a knowing expression. “Take this. I’ll go get another.”

What was that? Did Marcus tell Este I stayed at his place? No, I don’t think he would do that. And if he did, I’m pretty sure she would have let herself into my house at any hour of the day or night to get to the bottom of the story.

The look was gone by the time she returned with a fresh glass of wine in her hand.

She settled back into her lounger and took a sip of her drink. “How’s the planning for Will’s birthday party coming?”

“Oh, God.” I sighed, touching my forehead with one hand. “Autumn keeps sending me Pinterest boards. I feel like my head’s going to explode. She keeps asking me about table linens and color palettes. I mean, fuck. I didn’t even know drink menus needed an aesthetic.”

“Jesus, this town is the worst sometimes. Drink menus don’t need an aesthetic.” Este snickered. “What the hell does that even mean? Sounds like she’s just padding her hourly rate so she can charge you a fee every time she gets the urge to google ‘twinkle lights.’?”

“It seemed like the right idea at the time, but I’m starting to dread it.”

“It’s going to be fine. I’ll be there, and Beau will bring weed if you want.”

I stifled a laugh. “When doesn’t he bring weed?”

“You know…” Este shifted in her seat to face me. “You should see if Marcus will cater this fête.”

Another look.

Does she know something?

It’s not like Este to be coy. Still, I saw her watching my face for a reaction, but I kept my expression neutral.

“I’ll let Autumn handle that.” I waved the thought off casually. “I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m where logistics go to die for this party. And I don’t want to mess up all of her spreadsheets and planning documents.”

“What a nut.”

“She’s nice. ”

“She and Carol Parker might as well be best friends. I bet they’re planning a trip to Magnolia Farm together or something equally clichéd and sad. And the way she worships the old biddies at the Garden Club. It’s all a bit fucking much.”

“Not everyone can afford to fuck off to a private island if being a member of the civilized world doesn’t pan out for them, Este. Some people have to go along to get along.”

“Touché.” She sipped her drink with an unapologetic smile.

“Hey, Nora,” a familiar voice called out. “Did you come to lend a hand?”

I turned around and smiled as nonchalantly as possible. Marcus was wearing a pair of beaten-up jeans and holding a hammer by the head. “Hey, Marcus,” I said.

I don’t need Este clocking my reticence.

But the way she could read a room was practically preternatural. She stood and grabbed her glass of wine. “I’m going to go check on Beau. He said he was looking for drill bits, and I’m not even sure he knows what that means.”

“Do you?” I asked.

She waved me away with a good-natured smile. “Fuck off.”

Marcus and I both laughed mildly. But I wanted to beg her not to leave. I couldn’t, of course. It would be too dramatic. The impulse was there all the same.

Marcus put the hammer down on Este’s chair and then sat facing me with his elbows on his knees. “How’ve you been? We’ve missed you at dinners.”

“I’ve been good.” I took a sip of my wine and tried to avoid his sight line. “Busy. We went to Palm Beach.”

“I’ve been worried about you.”

I frowned. “Why?”

“When I dropped you off, I just wasn’t sure how that was going to work out for you.”

“We’re not going to talk about that. ” I looked back at our house, feeling paranoid, as if somehow Will had superhero hearing and might catch the edges of this conversation. I know it was dumb, but going to Marcus’s had been foolish.

He looked confused and maybe even hurt. “What? Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to,” I hissed. “Did you tell Este anything?”

“No!”

“She keeps looking at me like she knows.”

“Knows about what?”

I look at him like it should be obvious.

“Deflecting. Again.”

Now I’m getting annoyed. “That’s not funny anymore.”

“I’m not kidding.”

“What do you want to know?” My hands started for my hips, but I stopped them. If I took that posture, I would have to explain it to Este later. I’d seen her wandering by the window twice.

Marcus pushed his hands through his hair. “I’ve been worried is all. Did you stick up for yourself? Did you get what you need?”

“We’re perfectly happy now.” It came out a little haughtier than I intended, and I felt guilty. Marcus had never been anything but kind to me. “It wasn’t that bad. It was just a fight. Married people fight.”

“Yeah. They fight, but they tend to avoid property damage.”

“Okay. We are definitely not talking about that.”

I immediately regretted that I’d told him about the smashed glass. That’s not something you can untell someone. Especially someone like Marcus.

His expression grew wounded. “So, you just let him off the hook then?”

“I said what I needed to say, and he agreed.”

“And then he took you on a trip and you forgot all about how miserable you’ve been for months?”

“What’s your point?”

“Stop letting Will bribe you, Nora. Stop giving him all the power just because he has money.”

“He didn’t bribe me. I was not bribed.”

Was I?

I had been floating on a cloud since the beach trip. Marcus was yanking me back down to earth, and I kind of hated him forit.

“What do you want me to say, Marcus? And why are you so caught up in what happens in my marriage? Don’t you think it’s a little strange?” I narrowed my eyes at him.

Congratulations, Nora. You’ve hopped the median and now you’re headed the wrong way in the express lane to the low road.

“I’m sorry,” I said and took a breath. “I am trying to make it work. I am trying so hard.”

“Who told you it should be this hard?”

I took a sip of my drink, regretting how much Marcus knew about that night. Wishing it was just something Will and I could bury.

“Have you thought about how this works out for you if you succeed at making things work?” he asked. “You asked me what you should do. Have you thought about what you really want? I mean, kids? What about art? Or art school? Do you want anything for yourself?”

What I want is to keep my manicured life together. If I walk away, all of this goes away. I have no job and no savings, and I live nowhere. Not to mention the most important thing, no Will. And I love him.

“I’ll figure it out. I have the combination to the safe, right?”

“Sure.” He shrugged. “So, are you going to use it?”

“What does that mean?”

“It means: You deserve the things you want in your life, and you don’t have to bow down to these people to get them.”

“I’m not,” I snapped back.

He raised his hands in surrender. “All right, Nora.”

Shit. This isn’t Marcus’s fault. I called him that night.

“Marcus, I didn’t—I’m—”

Este stepped back out on the deck, looking back and forth at the two of us.

“Hey, Marcus?” she called. “The oven’s making a weird beeping sound.” She waved her hand around, blissfully unaware of how anything in her kitchen worked. And, I hoped, unaware of the disagreement Marcus and I had just had.

Marcus picked up the hammer and headed back toward the house.