Page 5 of Happy Halloween, Omega

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EveryHalloween,Igeta fright. And on the Halloween two years ago, I experienced the mother of all shocks.

It was the night my world crumbled in an instant. My heart shattered and I was left hopelessly alone. It happened so fast, and it was all my fault.

For the last two years, I’ve sat on the edge of my bed and stared at the little purple pills on my bedside table with accusation. I don’t want to keep taking them, and yet, my mother’s fear passed to me like a twisted inheritance. Her trauma still influences my choices, as if it were deep in my bones.

So I take the suppressants and try to be a normal Beta. It doesn’t work, because lurking beneath the surface is the truth. My entire life is false and I don’t truly belong with anywhere. I’m not a normal Beta. I’m not a normalanything.It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted by the charade.

I work as a bookkeeper for a construction company. It’s not because I’m particularly good with numbers, but because it allows me to hide away from the rest of the world in the dingy back office. I chat with my coworkers about superficial things, but somehow I even manage to screw that up.

They ask “How are you enjoying the weather?”, and I tell them I’m not enjoying the sunshine because I like it when it’s dark and rainy. My response evokes frowns.

They ask “What are you doing this weekend?”, and I tell them I’m going to make a timeline of an unsolved kidnapping that occurred in 1962. They quickly shuffle away with disturbed looks on their faces.

Safe to say I haven’t made friends at work, and I’m therefore safe from anyone discovering my secret. Even though it’s a secret I no longer understand or want to keep.

My best friend is my cat, Grizabella, a gorgeous rag doll with jet black fur and bright blue eyes that match my own. I like to think it’s because she’s my familiar, sent to be my steadfast companion. She’s affectionate and loving and all the things I need to keep from spiraling into despair. AfterthatHalloween two years ago, I became so soul-achingly lonely that something had to give. She appeared on my doorstep one evening as if she was left as a gift. The moment I held her, I felt a kinship with the sassy little fur ball. Since then, she’s been my confidant and friend, and I spoil her rotten. She’s the one person I know who will love me no matter how dark my answers to her questions are… as long as I feed her on time.

“Griz, do you think I would make a good Omega?” It’s a question I ask often.

The cat’s only response is a purr from her place on my lap. I stroke her soft fur absently and stare at the TV screen. I’m watching a Halloween movie marathon, but I’m not really paying attention.

Tomorrow night is Halloween, and I’ve agonized over going out clubbing again. The interaction with Ghost, the name I gave to the Alpha dressed as a skeleton, has hung heavily over my head for an entire year. I haven’t been able to unravel the mystery, and it’s been eating me alive.

“How did that Alpha know?”

I swallow hard, remembering the feel of his breath on my ear and his lips grazing my neck. He saved me from that Beta, and heknewmy secret.

The thought of it sends a shiver through me. What if he’s there? What if he isn’t? I can’t get the thought of him out of my head. Everything about him was exactly how I imagined an unmated Alpha male to be. Aggressive, predatory, dominating. Taking without asking and refusing to give an inch. There was also something measured and controlled about him. A restraint buzzing underneath his skin.

“Should I go back? If he’s there, I can find out how he knows I’m an Omega.”

Ghost is a menacing figure that has only grown larger in my mind in the past year. By rights, I should be terrified of him. After all, he knows my deepest darkest secret.

As twisted as it is, I’m not terrified of himbecausehe knows. I feel a link to him. He is the only other person in the entire world who knows the real me. I’m definitely messed up. I’ve created a para-relationship with the memory of a man who physically assaulted and chased me. I both loathe how he treated me, and long for even a morsel of the attention he gave me that night.

I liked the way he looked at me as if I were a fascinating puzzle. Like I was desirable. Hell, I even liked the way he made me fearful. The thrill was unlike anything I could gleam from a book or movie.

“What are the chances of him being there again?”

Griz purrs and blinks lazily at me.

“It’s nothimI want to see, it’s answers to the mystery. The questions have been keeping me up at night. Nothim.”

She doesn’t respond this time. She knows as well as I do that I’m lying. Or, you know, cause she’s a cat.

I sigh. My mind is racing, and I can’t seem to focus on the television. The twist has just been revealed, and it’s truly lazy screen writing. I figured it out within the first ten minutes.

My phone chirps from the coffee table, and I reach over Grizabella to grab it, paying the kitty tax for the disruption with a scratch behind the ears.

It’s a notification for an email promoting the Halloween rave at the club. My finger hovers over the “Buy A Ticket” button. It’s a risky decision. If I go, I’ll be throwing myself back into the fire. It could be exactly what I need to stop thinking about Ghost and what he knows. Or, it could make things worse.

Grizabella meows impatiently at me, and I smile down at her. “You want me to go?”

I tap on the button and buy a ticket to the Halloween rave. I’ll go, and if Ghost is there, I’ll get closure. I’m prepared for him this time; he won’t spook me.

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