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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

ALINA

“Will you step away? I’m cooking the fucking meat,” Ghost growls at Star.

“I know. I can see that, but it doesn’t mean I can’t stand next to you while you do it. It’s not like barbequing the meat is a woman free zone. Jesus, want me to shove a hot dog down my pants so I have a wang like the rest of you?” She huffs.

The other brothers all laugh as they drink their beers. I have to admit, I have to stifle my own laugh as I watch Star purposefully annoy Ghost. He reaches out and grabs her around the neck, and my smile immediately falls. I’m ready to jump in if he lays a hand on her. Star grins as he whispers something in her ear before he kisses her firmly on the lips. I relax a little in my chair as she saunters over, sighing like a lovesick teen.

“Everything okay?” I ask as she takes a seat next to me and takes a long sip of her wine.

“Oh yeah, I just wanted to rile him up a little. He’s been really sweet and affectionate since you got him out of jail. Don’t get me wrong, I love that, but I also like to be dominated. A little light spanking, threats of punishment. You know, that sort of thing.” She casually shrugs while I feel my cheeks heat at the thought. “That little display was him threatening to shut me up by gagging on his cock,” she swoons, fanning her face. “Honestly, I don’t think I could love a man more.”

Maggie coughs out a laugh. “Jesus, Star. Over share much. You know that if you want an instant reaction out of him, you just need to flirt with one of the guys.”

Star nods. “I know, but now they’re all taken. It doesn’t feel right,” she sighs.

I look around at all of them, then at the women—or the ol’ ladies as they are known—smiling happily and clearly madly in love with their partners. I chance a look over to Hap, who is stood with the rest of the guys laughing while drinking his beer. He looks so young, so carefree. Tearing my gaze away, I stare down at my glass of water, unable to fight back the heavy feeling in my chest. The feeling of doubt I had shoved aside was gnawing its way back into my thoughts. I was older, and I was not part of this world, plus to top it off, if I had not come to Hap and told him about being pregnant, I wouldn’t be sat here now. He never tried to contact me after that night. He was not interested enough to want me then. I glance back at the men, all of them possessive alphas in their own right. Is that what it was for Hap? The urge to stake a claim, to have me? I look away and rub at my temples, feeling the start of a headache brewing as my mind whirls with a million thoughts and possibilities.

“You good?” Star asks, nudging me out of my thoughts.

I nod and force a smile on my lips. “Just a little headache,” I state.

She eyes me for a second and opens her mouth to say something but is quickly cut off when Nova abruptly stands.

“Spider and I got married!” she blurts out. Star’s attention whips around to Nova, and even the guys stop talking as they look from Nova to Spider. Nova’s cheeks turn a crimson red from everyone’s attention. She clears her throat. “We didn’t want to make it a big deal. It was around the time the entire Scar hell happened, and it didn’t seem right to be celebrating,” she says, fiddling with her fingers. Spider walks over to her and clasps the back of her neck, giving her a gentle pull before taking her mouth. He whispers something over her lips, making her smile.

I can’t fight the smile that tugs on my lips at seeing them so clearly in love.

Star stands abruptly to her feet. “We didn’t get a bachelorette party,” she gasps.

“You ain’t having one,” Ghost growls at her.

She doesn’t look his way, just simply gives him her middle finger as she continues to talk to Nova. “Firstly, congratulations. Secondly, you should have told us, shit time or not. We would have all supported you. And lastly, pleeeease let me arrange a bachelorette party for you?” Star pleads.

Nova looks at Star with a wide grin. “I mean, it would be fun.” She shrugs.

“Hold up. Hold the fuck up. If they get a bachelorette party, then we should get a bachelor party,” Hawk protests.

“Actually, I think you will find that it would be my bachelor party,” Spider corrects him.

“Do you not think we don’t have enough shit to be dealing with?” Ghost snaps.

The guys all exchange a look. “I think that while we are figuring shit out, we could spare a little time to celebrate Spider’s marriage. We have the clubhouse. One night can be for the bachelors; the other night the bachelorette. It’s secure, safe, and no risk of them getting into trouble,” Beast suggests.

Ghost’s jaw tenses as he looks at Star. “They always manage to find trouble,” he states, his gaze burning into Star. She rolls her eyes at him.

“I mean, it could work. We sure as shit could do with letting off some steam,” Scar sighs.

Exhaling a long and exasperated breath, Ghost relents. “Fine, but we are down a Prospect since Tiny left.”

“I liked Tiny. Do you think he will come back?” Star asks with a layer of sadness in her voice.

Hap shakes his head. “No, dealing with the memory of losing one of his only friends changed something in him. It’s something I don’t think he can live with while being reminded of it every time he is at the club.” A sombre mood envelops everyone. Hap clears his throat. “So, when’s the party?” he asks, switching the mood back to a happier one.

Star smiles and claps excitedly, while Ghost groans and looks to the ceiling. “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to pay for this?” he asks.

Cash laughs and slaps him on the shoulder. “Of course, but at least we will have some fun of our own.”

Hours later, I excused myself to go for a lie down. As much as everyone was amazing, and it was nice to have them around, I had so many thoughts running through my mind. I needed some quiet time to be alone with them. As I lay in the darkened room, lying on my back and staring up at the ceiling, images of Hap and me dropping our child at the school flash through my mind. Would other parents think I’m their aunt or grandma?! What if he met someone more his age? What if he wants more kids? Is it safe for me to have more kids? Can I have more kids? I already had the odd grey hair. Soon the facial hair would sprout, right? Isn’t that what happens as we get older? Then the menopause. I would forever be feeling inferior to what he could have, and it’s true about what I thought earlier. He hadn’t come to me after our one night, which was fine, as it’s what we had both agreed, but to then go from zero to I’ve bought a house, and all because I’m pregnant with his child.

I place my hand on my small bump. Soon I would have my scan to find out what I was having. Maybe if I give him an out, give him a chance to see what he could have, rather than settle with someone like me. I’m a strong woman, I know that, and I can raise this baby alone. I can take care of myself. A gut-wrenching ache stabs into my heart at the thought of being alone and him being with someone else. I swallow it back, groaning as I roll onto my side. I need to stop this now. This can’t be my reality. It just can’t.

Sometime later, I feel the bed shift as Hap climbs into bed behind me. I don’t move as I ensure to keep my breaths even so he thinks I’m asleep. I feel the warmth of his body at my back, and as he drapes his arm over me, resting his hand protectively on my belly, he places a soft kiss just below my ear.

“Good night, baby,” he whispers. I lay there listening, waiting for him to drift off, and only when I hear his gentle breaths do I allow the silent tears to fall.