Page 32 of Hansel and Gerhardt (The GriMM Tales #3)

A Grave Declaration

H ansel’s muscles flexed in the morning light as he stabbed his shovel into the frigid ground. He was hot, his shirt was off, and Gerhardt positively devoured every inch of skin he could lick his eyes over.

Oh, how he wanted to be alone with him again.

Perhaps tonight.

Perhaps tonight Hansel wouldn’t be so guarded as he had been the night before.

Perhaps tonight was the night.

The cold air sliced into them both, but Gerhardt barely noticed it. He felt perfectly well. Because Hansel was beautiful in the dappled forest sunshine.

Hansel was tall and strong, and Gerhardt felt heart-poundingly proud of him. His big, strong, beautiful man.

He wondered, if he were well fed again, could he snap a whole tree in half? Handsome Hansel. Gerhardt was sure he could. He could do anything.

If only he would eat.

If he would eat, then Herr Candy would be so pleased.

And what would he make for them then? What other delights did he have in store? Herr Candy said he was cooking up a special feast, the biggest one ever, and Gerhardt had a feeling they’d only barely scratched the surface of the man’s culinary abilities.

How happy they’d all be if Hansel would only eat.

Lovely Hansel in the dappled sunlight.

Only look at him digging his shovel into the dirt. Look at him etching out his perfect rectangle in the ground. What did Herr Candy want it for? It hardly mattered. He got to be out here, digging his own hole next to Hansel’s, the two of them, side by side.

But when would they take a break? Would Herr Candy mind if he had another of those golden orbs? What if he took one for Hansel? Surely that would be allowed. Because, oh, that raspberry filling, and the way it would glisten on Hansel’s lips when he—

“Gerhardt.” Hansel said the word so low, Gerhardt wondered if he’d meant to say anything at all, or was merely grunting over the hard work.

He paused, about to ask, but Hansel rasped more clearly, “Keep working. Act as though I’m not talking to you.”

Gerhardt dropped longing eyes over at him. “Why can’t I be seen talking to you? There’s nothing wrong with us talking.”

“Please, Gerhardt.”

“I want to kiss you.”

He loved the way he could make Hansel’s cheeks turn pink with just a word. How he’d loved the feeling of his body beneath him the night before.

Hansel said, “I’ll kiss you all you like if you only listen to me now.”

“That’s a lot of kisses.”

It was a smile. A small one, but it was there. And Gerhardt, hazy somewhere behind the brightly coloured scene of idealistic beauty that clouded his mind, realised he hadn’t seen that smile much of late. He loved that smile. If only Hansel would eat, he would smile so often.

“I’m going to count to five,” said Hansel, low and calm, “then we’re both going to run to the forest. Just there at the top of the yard.”

Gerhardt laughed. “Why ever would we do that?”

The smile falling away. “Don’t you want to come away with me?”

“Why, yes… but… no.” That tingling haze. He was getting confused again.

“You promised me. Last night, don’t you remember? You promised you would come away with me.”

“Yes, I did. I did. I do remember that.” Gerhardt reached an absent-minded hand into his pocket as Hansel continued to work, continued to act as if they weren’t talking.

Hansel, looking hard at his work, asked, “Then what’s changed? Besides you eating breakfast.”

“Well, I don’t know.” Gerhardt pulled the bar of chocolate from his pocket—the one Herr Candy had given him just before they came outside. “Maybe it’s just that you look so nice, all sweaty like that.”

That blush again. Pinker still. He wished Hansel would take him in his arms. He wished he could feel the press of his skin in the bed once more.

He bit into the chocolate. It made a cracking sound, and Hansel reacted to it with strange alarm.

But Gerhardt’s mind cleared the second the sweetness hit his tongue.

“We’re happy here. Why would we leave? You need some meat on those bones, dear Hansel. Perhaps in the spring—”

He lost the words with a gasp as Hansel’s great arm wrapped around his waist—as he was lifted.

As he was thrown clear over Hansel’s enormous shoulder.

And Hansel ran. It was a wonder those legs could carry Gerhardt so high and so fast. Hansel bolted for the trees, and Gerhardt dropped his chocolate in the commotion.

He watched it fall there in the grass, increasingly distant, his only thought beyond the pleasure of Hansel’s bare skin against his own. “Hansel, my chocolate!” he cried.

What was he doing, anyway?

Then Hansel slowed.

He was funny, grabbing Gerhardt like that.

But why let the chocolate sit there on the ground and go to waste?

Yet he didn’t turn back.

He walked on, a few more heavy and shaking steps, then he set Gerhardt down gently.

He sank to his knees.

Gerhardt got his balance, remained standing, then he realised. Looking around in wonder, he became caught in the fantastic vision that Hansel had already seen. “Isn’t that amazing?” he whispered. “Hansel, look! All the trees have turned into lollipops!”

Hansel said nothing, only sat there on the ground in a heap, breathing heavily.

“But look,” Gerhardt insisted. “They’re so bright and colourful. Thousands of them! They form a complete wall. Impenetrable. Isn’t that marvellous? But Hansel, why are you crying?” Gerhardt slipped down onto his lap and wrapped both arms around his neck. “Is it because I dropped my chocolate?”

Hansel brought one hand to Gerhardt’s bare waist to hold him, and Gerhardt wiped his tears away with his thumb. “Don’t worry. Herr Candy has lots more chocolate.”

Hansel dipped his head to Gerhardt’s shoulder. Gerhardt leaned down and kissed his hair.

Hansel said, “I have failed you. I have failed us both.”

Clasping his cheeks, Gerhardt brought his face up. How he wanted to kiss the sadness away. To make him all better.

If only he would eat…

But Hansel looked deep into his eyes, that beautiful, sapphire-clear gaze sharpening so it pulled him in. “Listen to me. Please. If you can still hear me.”

Gerhardt let out a kind scoff. “Of course I can hear you. Perfectly well. I’m right here with you.”

“You’re not. And I love you, Gerhardt. I never thought I’d miss your fire so much as I do right now.

Your anger. Your passion. I want you to be happy, I do, but never at the cost of your soul.

Your precious soul. It’s worth fighting for.

It’s worth starving for. I would do it all over again, and a thousand days again to save you.

I don’t know what’s going to happen now.

I don’t know. But remember me. Please remember me.

Remember this one true thing. Remember that I loved you. ”

‘ Remember that I loved you.’

‘ Remember that I loved you.’

The words swam in Gerhardt’s head, around and around, dizzying, nauseating.

‘ Remember that I loved you.’

‘ Remember that I loved you.’

Hansel was so sad. He was so earnest. He was so true.

Gerhardt’s fingertips dug into the skin of his shoulders. Gerhardt met his gaze, real and loving.

Gerhardt said, “Would it make you feel better to share my chocolate?”