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HEATH

FLASHBACK: ONE YEAR AGO

I don’t do a lot of things, especially show emotions, but I’m under a spell when it comes to Autumn Scott.

God I would get down on my knees and worship her if she asked me to.

I seriously have a problem, but my mom used to say this is what love feels like before she passed my freshman year of high school.

I open the box one more time looking at the piece of jewelry I bought about a week ago. A perfect golden magnolia flower just like the one on our tree. With this I hope she always remembers our place, remembers me.

“Good luck!” I hear my sister yell as I walk out the door. She helped me pick it saying it would be so sentimental, and I agreed.

I get inside my new truck and start the drive to Grimstone University in Sleepy Hollow, New York.

I want to surprise Autumn eventually with the fact that I’ve been taking side community college classes and applied to go in fall of junior year there.

We will finally be together and can have sleepovers.

I can cherish her everyday, all day and I couldn’t be more excited.

I arrive at the college in no time with the flowers and gift in my hands.

Walking up to her dorm building I start to feel as if my heart is in my ass.

Recently things have been amazing, so I don’t know why I’m nervous, I mean sure she goes out and she’s made a ton of friends but she’s just social like that.

She became such a little social butterfly our junior year of high school.

But then again, I haven’t been able to give her the attention she deserves because my dad has been so sick but hopefully this helps.

I enter Lingam Hall and check in, grabbing a visitor's sticker before going up to the fourth floor. The elevator moves incredibly slow today like it wants to stop me, and I anxiously bounce on my heels as it finally dings opening. I walk out, finally reaching her dorm and knock.

“Hey Heath.” Her roommate, Maya, opens the door.

“Is Autumn here?” I ask looking behind her, seeing their dorm looking empty. Could she be in the restroom?

“Are those for her?” She asks and I nod. “Oh god, she’s out with Cole right now but here is this.” Maya reaches to the side and hands me a light pink envelope with my name written on it in Autumn’s handwriting.

“What’s this?”

“Just read it and check your messages when you get the chance.” I give her an odd look because this extremely confuses me. “Give this to her for me.” I hand her the flowers and gift I bought for Autumn.

“I will.” Maya closes the door, and I’m left in the hallway. What the hell. I open the envelope and take out Autumn’s letter to try and get some clarity.

Dear Heath,

If you are reading this, it’s because you didn’t see my text.

I really wanted to mail this to you or tell you in person, but I just needed to get it off my chest and I’m afraid if I see your face I won’t do it.

Heath, I have loved you since I first saw you and you have truly been the love of my life.

My first love. You always will be. I treasure the time we’ve been together, and I don’t think anyone could have loved me like you.

You made me feel seen, heard me, listened to me.

Showed me so many new things. I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing you are, but I like someone else.

It wouldn’t be fair to you to stay in the relationship when I think I’m forming a new connection with someone else so I’m breaking up with you.

I am beyond sorry, and I never expected this but it’s for the best my love. I love you.

-Autumn

I feel my heart crack into a million pieces. She’s fucking dumping me. I thought everything was okay and we were in love but no, only I was in love. She didn’t love me as much as I thought.

I’ve lost her.