Page 29 of Hallowed & Haunted
“No,” he says fiercely, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks. “God, no. You saved my life. How could I ever be afraid of you?”
Niillas rumbles a deep contented sound, almost a purr, and one paw comes to rest protectively around Sander’s waist.
“Breathe,” Niillas hums. “It’s over now. You were so brave, Captain. So clever with that riddle.”
“Calling me clever again?” Sander can’t help but chuckle. “Careful, Vars, one might think you’re flirting with me.”
Niillas goes very still.
“Maybe I am. It’s hard not to be attracted to a man who defeated an ancient forest troll with a riddle about technology.”
Sander feels himself blushing.
“You’d be the first to like my brain more than my looks.”
Niillas snorts irritably, his grip around Sander’s waist tightening.
“You get that a lot, huh? Everybody fawning over your beauty, falling for your charm, but ultimately unable to see the person behind.”
Throat closing up, Sander fights not to start crying again, because Niillas is right. Lots of people like him for his looks, for the fact that he’s easy to get along with. Some appreciate his skill on the ice. But he’d been less than charming to Niillas.Niillas knows him as snarky and pouting, scared and crying, making stupid decisions, and trying to make up for them with desperate bravery. And still, Niillas seems to find something in him worthy.
“It’s exhausting,” Sander admits, shocked by his own honesty. “I’m trying to keep up this stupid façade, but it’s never enough. There’s always another party, someone else to make nice with, and I’m certainly never clever enough with a brilliant lawyer as an older brother, and all I can manage is a forestry degree.”
“But you’re passionate about forestry.”
“How would you know?”
The question comes out as more defensive than he’d planned, but too many people have been making fun of his field of study in the past, so it’s hard to stay calm.
“Come on, Sander. How many times have I seen you rushing to practice because you were taking extra courses? And frankly, no one who doesn’t take their degree absolutely seriously would suffer through summer fieldwork with Lindalen. She made the bunch of you crawl through the mud for weeks on end.”
Warmth spreads through Sander’s chest, and God help him, if Niillas hadn’t been in his terrifying bear form, he would have kissed him.
Because Niillasseeshim.
“Lindalen is tough, but you learn a lot.”
Niillas grins full of sharp teeth.
“And that’s exactly my point.”
“Okay, I love forestry. Satisfied?”
Rumbling his contentment, Niillas snuggles closer.
“Yes. I like it when you’re being honest with me.”
“It’s easy to be honest with you. Although I have no idea why you like honest-me.”
Niillas chuckles his ursine laughter.
“Maybe I have a weakness for your snark.”
Sighing deeply, Sander relaxes completely against Niillas. He’s tired to the bone, but he also feels safe.
“Can I ask you something?”
Nervousness, similar to what he feels shortly before important games, overwhelms him. But he has to ask. Because Niillas says he likes him, and Sander would never forgive himself if he didn’t seize this opportunity now.