Page 5

Chapter five

Fears & Fantasies

Kylie

T hat was epic.

Surrounded by Gideon’s much larger form our bodies returned to earth slowly by degrees. After the toe-curling ecstasy, my body replete and my heart had mended.

He didn’t hate me. If I had the strength, I would get on my knees in thanks. He hadn’t been avoiding me. It had all been my fears getting the better of me.

Moisture filled my eyes. Tears slipped down my face. I really thought I had lost him. To my core, I believed he spurned me for not listening when he begged me not to go shopping the other day. But it was just anxiety planting negative thoughts in my brain. Simply because it was precisely how my husband would have responded. He iced me out shortly after we married simply because I disagreed with him. And our relationship de-evolved from there swiftly.

Gideon meant the world to me. I cared about him more than I ever thought myself capable of caring for another person. When I examined my emotions, the strength of my feelings for him—for all of them—staggered me. The thought of losing any of them was unfathomable.

They had become my rocks. Their arms were my shelter from the storm. And if it were up to me, I would keep them by my side forever. Each one satisfied a need within me. Selfish, but I yearned to keep them all for myself. In the deepest recesses of my heart, it’s my most fervent wish.

Gideon lifted his face from its spot in the crook of my neck. Concern etched across his scrunched brow. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“No. I’m happy because you still want me.” I bit my bottom lip to keep it from trembling.

A pained look crossed his handsome face. He lowered his forehead to mine. “I’m so sorry, babe. I never meant to hurt you. Forgive me.”

“Done.” The last bit of stress left my body.

“Just like that?” He reared back. Like he had expected me to blast him over it. I wouldn’t castigate him over a simple misunderstanding. There were two of us who didn’t clarify what we wanted from the other. Maybe if I had sought him out, it would have saved me some worry.

“Yeah. Just like that.” My voice ached, and I winced. The pain was manageable. But I had pushed my injured vocal cords to their limit.

At my hoarse response, he fiercely scowled. “You shouldn’t be talking. You need to rest your voice.”

“I’m okay. I’m just glad you don’t hate me.” But he was right. I needed to rest my throat, or I would make it worse. My body told another story entirely. Because it was still greedy for more, even with his softening shaft hilt deep inside me.

His hands framed my face, holding me with infinite tenderness. “Never. I care, Kylie. But I have a job to do. Keeping you safe is my top priority. And any time you have questions about anything, I want you to come to me.”

“I care too. About all of you,” I admitted. He must understand this wasn’t some fly-by-night deal for me.

“But?”

How did he do it? He cut through all my bullshit into the very heart of me. Enough to understand what I kept hidden.

Under his unwavering gaze, I drew up my courage and voiced the doubts inside my head. “Are you sure it’s okay that I’m sleeping with your friends, too? This situation differs from any other relationship I’ve been in. I realize it’s likely weird for you. And I never want to come between you or cause you any heartache. But I can’t choose between you. I want you all. I care about each of you. And I worry that you’ll get tired of sharing me with your friends.”

He threaded his fingers into my hair and held my gaze prisoner. He was so handsome. The man took my breath away with his sexy smirks and commanding presence.

And I enjoyed our little bubble of intimacy, because the rest of the world didn’t exist, and it was just us.

“Now listen to me, babe. We wouldn’t share you unless it’s what we wanted. Don’t think for one second we’ll change our minds and leave you. You’re ours. Do you understand me? You belong to us now and we aren’t letting you go. We’ll protect you with our lives. We’ll take care of you. And then we’ll take you to bed and make you scream in ecstasy every night.”

Warmth blossomed in my chest at his possessive declaration. I adored belonging to them. After the horrors I survived, having these four ex-Marines desire me so fiercely that they wanted me to belong to them, offering me their protection while catapulting my body to heights of ecstasy, healed some of my broken pieces. In his arms, I felt safe and cherished.

“Have you guys done this before?” My voice trembled. Why did it matter? Of course, they had a past that might include sharing other women. They shared me seamlessly. Which suggested they had done this before.

His gaze didn’t waver. “Yes. We have shared other women. Does that bother you?”

“I see. Um, no,” but it wasn’t the full truth. Because I thought I might be special, and disappointment filled me. In my heart, I wanted to be the only one. Stupid and immature, but I also couldn’t help the way I feel.

“Look at me,” he demanded tenderly.

I hadn’t realized I shut my eyes. But then, I hadn’t expected the flash of pain to lance through me at the knowledge I wasn’t the only woman they had shared. I lifted my eyes. And my heart stuttered at what I found.

“Yes, we’ve shared women in the past. But all of them pale next to you, Kylie. We care about you. And even if we weren’t your hired bodyguards, we would want to be with you.”

“Really?” I breathed, hope battering against my chest. I’d been unlucky in love until their advent into my life. My experience with dating and romance wasn’t vast. And I often felt inept. As if I was just playing at being a grown up. But then, I never expected them. I figured I would be single for a long time after my husband died. Yet with them, I felt alive for the first time.

“Yeah, really. You matter to us. And I’m so damn sorry I made you doubt your worth. Because you are priceless.”

My bottom lip trembled. The truth naked in his eyes. He cared about me. I wasn’t only a job for him. And my heart rolled over in my chest.

Gently, with infinite care, I cupped his face. His shadow beard deliciously scraped my palms. Tingles erupted, sending bolts of fire through my arms and into my core, reigniting my desire.

Leaning up, I kissed him. Sweetly. Soulfully.

I imparted everything he made me feel. He needed to understand he was special to me. They all were. I infused my heart in my kiss. The four of them had awakened me. I’d been sleepwalking through life. It had been my way of coping with my husband. It’s how I survived being trapped in a loveless marriage and abused for years with no one to help me escape his depravity.

Gideon lifted his head, breaking the heated exchange. He placed a sweet kiss on the tip of my nose. Then he finally withdrew, rolling onto his back, and pulled me with him.

Snuggling against his side, I laid my head on his shoulder. He made me feel safe. After a lifetime of being on my own, fighting battles alone, his stalwart presence acted as a balm to my senses.

“Promise me that if you decide you want only one of us that you will tell us. The rest of us will respect your wishes. Just talk to us and we’ll listen.”

Under his probing stare, I shifted and squirmed against him. “Um, but what if I never choose? Will you guys eventually make me?”

“What are you getting at, babe?”

Drawing in a fortifying breath, I blurted the truth. “I want all of you. And I would, um—sorry, I don’t know how to say this. When you share a woman, have you ever taken her together? I mean, all four of you at once?”

He arched a dark brow. The corners of his lips curled up. “Are you asking me if we’ve fucked a woman together gang bang style?”

“Yes.” My cheeks burned. I’d never discussed my fantasies before with anyone. But deep down inside, the thought of being in a gang bang, of having the four of them take me, left me quaking with fervent need.

A sinful grin spread over his face. “Is that something you want? Do you want us to fuck you together? Do you want me to take your ass while Axel fucks that sweet pussy? And then have Chase fuck your mouth while Mateo fucks your hand?”

Oh my god, yes!

The carnal imagery blazed through me. My pussy pulsated at the startling amount of need his words created in me. I dropped my gaze. My fingers toyed with his chest hair while I struggled to find the words.

“Talk to me, Kylie. We want to know your fantasies? We want to know what you think about when you are alone in bed at night and play with your pussy? Does the idea of being fucked by four men at once turn you on?”

Nibbling on my bottom lip, a churning mass of heat swirled in my belly. My god, the thought of being at their wicked mercy that way sent my system into overdrive.

Gideon lifted my chin until our gazes clashed.

“Babe, don’t hide from me. I will not hurt you or reject you over your fantasies. In fact, I want to give you your fantasy. All you have to do is tell me what you want, and I will make it happen. If you want all four of us, we’re yours. We want to make you come screaming as many times and in as many ways as possible. I know you haven’t had men in your life that you could trust, but you can trust us.”

I exhaled a shaky breath. He was right, and I was being a chicken. Before I evaded his question further, I blurted. “I’ve always wanted to be at the center of a gang bang, but one where I’m forced into it.”

Surprise lit his gaze. His smile widened. “Is that a fact?”

Blushing furiously, I nodded. “Yes. It’s one of them.”

“Well, we’ll make it happen. We won’t tell you when. I’ll work it out with the others. Your desires are nothing to be ashamed of at all. I think it’s hot as hell. And if there’s anything else you want to experience, we’re at your disposal.”

“What about your fantasies? Do you have something you want to do with me?”

“I have plenty. But you should know, you are my fantasy. Although if you really want to know one of them, the next time Mateo and Chase fuck your pussy, I want to watch from the sidelines.”

My sex clenched and tingles whirled in my belly. I never thought exhibitionism was in my wheelhouse. But the way he murmured it in that forthright, growly alpha bass had heat blasting my insides. Licking my lips, I asked, “Will you fuck me when they’re done with me?”

“No.”

Disappointment filled me. Why wouldn’t he want to? Maybe he didn’t want me as much as I wanted him.

“I’d fuck your ass while they watched.”

I moaned because the thought of him taking me while Chase and Mateo laid on the bed had need clamoring inside me. And then I shifted until I straddled his lap. His semi-hard shaft pressed against my slit.

“Is there something you want?”

“All this talk about fantasies is driving me crazy.” I rubbed my crotch against his dick that lengthened and hardened once again. Everything in me pulsed. I ached for him.

“Gideon, we need you up on the command deck, pronto.” Chase’s voice blared over the intercom.

“Be right there,” he replied, regret splashed across his face as he shifted me off his lap and onto the bed.

He rose and started dressing. “I’m sorry. I have to cut our time short.”

“It’s okay. Just hurry back when you can.”

When he was dressed, he returned to the bed. Kneeled over me and kissed me deeply until I groaned, reaching for him. He ripped his mouth away and backed off. “Hold our place. Because I plan to come back at the soonest opportunity. You should rest in the meantime and get some sleep.”

Much easier said than done with my body craving release with no outlet. “I’ll try.”

“If you’re good and listen, I’ll wake you up with my mouth on that pretty pussy of yours.” He winked, then exited the room.

With a sigh, I snuggled beneath the covers, dreaming of orgasms and wondering when the gang bang would happen.