Page 54 of Guarding Grace (Hawk Security #2)

Grace

I quickly packed what little Zane had brought over.

Serena helped.

Deb kept saying I was making a mistake.

Constance only said, “I don’t think you know enough to make a clear decision just yet. You should wait and talk to Terry first. He might have something to say that changes your outlook on this.”

Deb also thought I was being too rash, too abrupt.

But if I knew anything, I knew following that advice was wrong for me.

Terry would come barging in, and we would argue—if argue was even the right word, in his house, on his terms. That was not for me.

I’d leave and change the status quo. Sure, he’d come over to my place, but at least then the conversation would be about me moving in with him, which was a completely different frame than talking about me moving out.

“Are you sure?” Serena asked. “I’m with Deb. This is like creating a fight where there doesn’t have to be one.”

Sighing, I stopped folding. “I’ve been independent my entire life, on my own.

First it was just Pete and me, and then…

” My voice threatened to crack. “And then, alone. I allow one high-testosterone male to claim me…” I added air quotes.

“…and he starts dictating terms I have to live by. I’m not breaking up with him.

I’m just not ready to be told I have to live with him. ”

“Have you thought about how he’ll feel when he gets home and finds you gone the moment you don’t need protection from Russo?”

That did bother me, because I didn’t want to hurt Terry. In fact, I cared for him so much, it hurt me to do this.

Terry

SERENA: She is afraid you’re going to demand she live with you.

The text had come in after I’d found my house empty and was on the way to Grace’s place. It was a word of caution that I considered as I parked.

My heart hammered in my chest as I reached the door of her apartment and held up my hand to knock.

True to form, the door was open at her neighbor Millie’s.

“Is she in?” I asked.

“Sure is. First time in a while.”

I knocked hard. When I heard only muffled sounds inside, I knocked again.

“What’s the password?” It was Serena’s voice.

“I’m not in the mood, Serena.”

“What’s the password?” she repeated.

I looked toward Millie. “Password?”

“Please is the best one I know,” she answered.

“Please,” I repeated.

Thankfully, the deadbolt clicked open, and I didn’t have to break the door down. My woman stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed, ready to do battle.

“I just remembered I have some laundry to attend to,” Serena said as she slipped by me and out the door.

“Hi,” I offered. I suddenly realized that it would be manipulative to give her the good news first.

She stood her ground. “Thank you again for working things out with those Russo people.”

“Anything for my woman. Now, tell me why you’re doing this.”

She fidgeted. Her ringing phone saved her from answering. When she picked it up off the counter, her face went both pale and slack .

I charged over, worried that she might have another fainting spell.

The name on the screen read, MRS. MONTEFINO.

“God,” she complained.

“Who is it?”

“My mother. I don’t want to talk to her,” Grace said with a trembling voice.

At first, Pete had told me their mother had died when they were young, but later he’d admitted that the woman had abandoned them at a hotel and run off after a man.

Their mother had left them like spare change on the dresser and just checked out—no goodbye, no hugs, no crying, no note, no nothing.

Pete had said it had hurt Grace even more than him.

After the initial barrage of questions, they’d decided to deal with it by telling people that their mother had died in a car accident.

They’d lived with an uncle until Pete was old enough to take Grace with him and leave. That uncle had been no peach either.

I grabbed for the phone. “Let me handle this.”

Reluctantly, she let go.

I accepted the call and put it on speaker. “Grace Brennan’s line.”

“Who is this?” the woman demanded.

I put my finger to my lips for Grace to be quiet. “Who may I say is calling?”

With a haughty tone, she answered, “Contessa Alexandria Montefino. The count and I wish to invite her to dinner.”

Grace shook her head violently.

“No,” I said.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“No means no. Do you have a language other than English you’d like me to use?”

“I demand you let me speak with my daughter. I’m entitled to speak with my daughter, you…you peasant.”

“No.”

“You are extremely rude.” Off to the side, she said. “Stephano, she doesn’t have time to dine with us.”

“Here’s the thing, Alex?—”

“It’s Alexandria.” She huffed. “And who are you?”

“I’m her boyfriend, someone who actually cares about her.”

“Well, I’m her mother.”

I laughed at her until I could hear exasperated sounds from the other end. “Her mother died a long time ago.”

“That’s a lie. I’m her mother. ”

“Tell me, lady—and I use the term loosely—are you on marriage number four or number five?”

“I’m a contessa, and you can’t talk to me that way,” she snarled.

“Somebody should, you old hag. Now, how many?”

“I’m her mother. Put her on the phone right this instant. I demand it.”

Grace smiled and held up five fingers.

“Let me tell you, Alex, when you skip out on your kids to marry some South African businessman, you lose the right to call yourself a mother.”

“I couldn’t take them with me. It wouldn’t have worked with the children.”

Unbelievable . In her mind, it was all about her. And from what Pete told me, marriage number two had only lasted four years.

“Being a mother is being there for birthdays, for school plays, for soccer games?—”

“How dare you talk to me like that?” she complained.

Since Grace was smiling, I continued. “Being there for her first date and her first kiss. You didn’t stick around for any of those things, so you never earned the title of mother, Alex.”

“It’s Contessa to you. I always knew Grace would end up with a heathen. You’re rude.”

“I may be rude, but I can learn to be better. You’re just a bitch.”

The woman spluttered, unable to get out a coherent word.

“Bad news for you, Alex. Being a bitch is something you can’t change.” I stabbed the end call button.

The biggest smile in the world filled Grace’s face.

“Your mother is a bitch.”

She nodded and laughed. “And you told her that to her face.”

“If the truth hurts, that’s her problem, not mine. I’m glad it’s not an inherited trait.”

Grace blushed bright red. “Thank you, kind sir.”

Having now virtually met her mother, Grace’s devotion to her employees crystallized for me. They were her family, and she treated them as her children in an attempt to be the good mother she’d never had. Her laser focus on her company was her attempt to provide the stability she’d never known.

I sensed that pity for her plight was the last thing she wanted, so it was time to pivot to the real issue. “Anyway,” I began, “what are you doing here?”

The smile I’d put on her face dropped away. “I’m doing what we agreed on when you forced me to move to your place. It was only for as long as I was in danger. ”

“That was then. Haven’t I since made it clear that you’re my woman and I want you to stay?”

“Your woman? You don’t own me.” Her fierce independent streak had surfaced. “I get a say. I decide what’s right for me. Not you, not anybody else.”

Take it slow. I took a deep breath. “Try it this way. I have committed myself to you, and you alone. We’re in a relationship, so why would you want to move out?”

“Relationship?” she squeaked. “After a week? It doesn’t work like that.”

Hold it together, Marine. “It hasn’t been a week.” I took her hands. “I’ve wanted you for years.”

Tears formed in her eyes. “I’m scared. This is going too fast. We haven’t really gotten to know each other.”

“Maybe I’ve tried to hide the real me by being mean to you, but I’ve known you for years, the real you.” I slid my hands up to her shoulders. “I know the woman you are, and you’re the one for me.”

“We don’t know each other like a normal couple gets to know each other because we haven’t dated. I don’t even know your favorite flavor of ice cream.”

Finally, some steps I could take. “Rocky road, and we can do a dinner date tonight.”

“It’s not a set of boxes to check off.”

“Fine, no dinner date.” I backed off a step.

Stupid me. I knew she always reacted to pressure by pushing back.

It was her default fighting response, which had enabled me to keep her at a distance for years.

It also meant I still couldn’t give her the good news I wanted to, knowing she’d take it as coercion.

“Look, I’m scared that maybe we’re not compatible.

My business is on the edge and needs all my time,” she said.

“I’m afraid that as fast as you’ve decided you want me, maybe you’ll let me go just as fast when I can’t give you the time you want.

And maybe we don’t enjoy the same things, we don’t want to do the same things. ”

Those were separate concerns that I clearly couldn’t address all at once. She wanted to be in charge, so it was time to retreat and regroup. Remembering Lucas’s quote, “Set her free,” I pulled out my keys, removed the one for the house, and set it on the counter.

She stared at it wordlessly.

Noticing a Sharpie nearby, I pulled off the cap and drew on the head of the key .

“Christmas. The alarm code is Christmas, one-two-two-five. You can come over if and when you want.”

“But—”

I cut her off. “I’ve told you how I feel. It’s time for you to decide how you feel.” With that, I cradled her face in my hands and gently kissed her goodbye.

In Syria, facing a crazed terrorist, I’d once been completely helpless when my ammo ran dry. When the dude had changed mags, I’d charged him with only my knife. That had been the scariest day of my existence.

But closing the door behind me now was a new level of scary.

I’d just let go of the most important person in my life. I’d invited her to leave me. What if she never used the key?

Then she’d never really been mine, according to the quote.

Grace

The door closed, and I walked over to the couch and slumped into it.

He was gone. What was I doing? What was he doing?

“Clyde?” I called for my cats. “Bonnie, you can come out now. It’s safe.”

No cats. Not even a meow in response.

“Traitors, where are you? I came back here so you’d be happy.”

Nothing. The room was as empty as my heart. That’s when I noticed this room had none of the sunshine that permeated Terry’s place.

Knuckles rapped on my door, and my heart leaped into my throat.

He’s back.

Rushing to the door, I was about to fling it open when I remembered to check the peephole like Terry had always warned me to do.

Happy to see Serena, I opened the door.

She breezed in. “I saw Terry leaving downstairs. What happened? Did you guys get things settled?”

I walked toward the kitchen. “Want a drink? I think I have some margarita mix in the fridge.”

She hurried to get in front of me. “I don’t want a margarita. What happened?”

I went around her. “Nothing. I might have some wine then.” I couldn’t remember what I had in the fridge. Pulling open the door, I realized it was a good thing she didn’t want a margarita because the bottle of mix was almost empty. “It looks like hard cider is the best I can offer.”

“Fine.”

I retrieved two bottles and handed one to her, laughing when I couldn’t find a bottle opener in the drawer.

“What’s so funny?”

“I can’t find an opener.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t want one, anyway.”

“Me either.” My laughter fell away, and my eyes went wet. “You know, he once accused me of thinking he opened bottles with his teeth?”

“Ouch.”

I smiled. “It was a joke.”

She reached out and took my hand. “Are you going to tell me what happened?” She led me to the couch.

This was hard—really hard. “He left.”

She sat next to me and leaned close, brows scrunched up. “What do you mean?”

“I fucked up. I pushed him away so hard he left.”

“Tell me.”

I explained what I remembered about the conversation.

“But he gave you a key?”

I pointed to the counter.

She picked it up and studied it. “This is so cute.”

“What?” It was a simple key. It didn’t even have any color to it.

She turned it toward me and held it up to my face. “I think it’s romantic.”

The head of the key had the word MY written on it, with a drawing of a heart underneath.

I blinked back a tear. “I’m scared. We’ve fought for years until this last week. What if it doesn’t work?” I sniffled.

“Are you kidding? The key to his heart? Of course it’ll work.”

“No, I mean us. When I told you at the party that I didn’t have time for a man, I wasn’t kidding. My business is hanging on by a thread. My people need all my time.”

“When Duke claimed me, I was scared shitless too. These military men are intense with a capital I. But what Duke and I have now is amazing.”

“I always thought you were fearless.”

She shook her head. “Not as fearless as Duke. Look, talk to Terry about your fears.”

“But—”

“Stop that negative shit. No buts. If you’ll let him, he can probably help you in more ways than you can imagine. Life with him will be a lot to handle, but I’ve never looked back, and I bet it will be the same for you.”

“I don’t know.”

She stood. “None of us does until we try. It’s not my job to tell you what to do. It’s your path to choose. Stay here with Bonnie and Clyde, for all I care. Become an old cat lady. I’ll think you’re crazy, but you’ll always be my friend.”

I rose and followed her to the door.

With her hand on the handle, she stopped.

“Or, take a risk with something you’ve never tried before.

Choosing a SEAL worked out for me, but if you don’t want to be claimed by a real man and enjoy a full-throttle life, that’s your choice.

Just be prepared for Deb to accuse you of being dumber than a sack of rocks. ”

I turned the deadbolt after she left.

“And she’ll be right,” Serena yelled through the door.

I waited a moment before calling for my roommates again. “Bonnie? Clyde?”

Neither came to comfort me.