Page 39 of Guardian's Soul (Space Guardian's Mate #2)

HANNAH

I was more antsy to see the test results about Thrax's and my biological compatibility than should have been justified. Part of me was excited that maybe we could have children together, and another was terrified. I had never actively worked to have a family, but I hadn't discarded wanting one either. In hindsight, it fit perfectly with the way I had gone through life before Thrax—yes, that's how I looked at it now, before Thrax, not before the Cryons took me —it had always been one day at a time. No planning, just going with the flow. Had I met a man I would have wanted to stay with, we would have started a family, eventually. And if I didn't… I wouldn't have been about to go searching, either. Now, with Thrax? I didn't even have to think about it. It was a big fat, Hell Yes! But not right now. Not while we were in the middle of this mess.

Thrax looked apprehensive when he read the results, rattling my nerves into the stratosphere. "Looks like we're a perfect match."

I took a deep inhale, aware that he was watching me with hawk eyes.

"What are you thinking?" he added almost immediately .

"Do you like the idea?" I shot back, wanting to know first.

"Hannah, I would love nothing more than to start a family with you. I love you. But…" he trailed off, taking my heart with it.

"But… the timing isn't right?" I added my own misgivings, hoping that this was what had him obviously upset.

He shook his head. "No, that's not it. It's… I don't want to see you get hurt. You said having babies is painful?—"

Just like that, my heart returned, swelling my chest with love and adoration for this man. I didn't laugh because yes, that's kind of where we had left things off earlier.

"It's all right, Thrax. Humans have given birth for hundreds of thousands of years. Sometimes bad things happen, but that's what doctors are for. They have medicine, too, to stop the pain. Billions of women have gone through it, and I'll gladly do the same for… our child."

My eyes filled with tears, and warmth spread through me at the word. Child. Without a doubt, I knew that this was what I wanted. Still, I didn't think the timing was right.

"We just need to be more careful from now on when we have sex until our situation is more… secure. You don't happen to have a condom?"

"A what?"

Of course he wouldn't know what I was talking about. "What do aliens do not to have children?"

"Oh." He brightened. "I can use the healing wand to kill my little male army before it enters you."

I snickered. "Little male army?"

He shrugged. "That's what I like to call them."

I laughed. That sounded just like him.

"Hmm." A thought occurred to me. "Have you done this before? With me?"

"In all honesty, it never crossed my mind." He seemed as perplexed by the answer as me. "I've always done it before… wh en… with other…" he broke off and I swear the man was blushing if that was possible with his silver skin. But the color did seem off.

"Other women," I finished the sentence for him since he seemed so out of sorts.

When he didn't say anything and the silence between us stretched, I said, "Let's do that for now until we've figured everything out… if you're okay with it."

"I'll do anything for you. Even kill my little spermies."

That made me laugh out loud. When I was able to form another coherent sentence, I asked, "Do you have any other names for them?"

He grinned. "Little buddies, swimming fighters, starseed troopers, wiggly heroes, life sprinters, spawn scouts…" he drifted off when I bent over laughing. So hard that I snorted and had to catch my breath.

"You've given that a lot of thought," I wagered.

His grin deepened. "I guess I have."

I shook my head. "Good grief, I love you so much. Thank you!"

"For what?"

"This." I patted his knee. "For you being you."

"Well, I'm always happy to amuse you. How about mini conquerors?"

"Stop." I nearly choked on the water I was drinking to soothe my throat.

I was still thinking about our exchange and babies and sperm-killing healing wands when, a little while later, Thrax announced that we should meet up with the others any moment now. I wasn't sure what to expect, but if the other Space Guardians had mating marks, it should be logical to conclude that I would meet some human women, right?

I was starved for some girl time. Not that Thrax wasn't enough for me, but everything that had happened between us had been so fast and intense that I craved to hear similar stories. I didn't need validation. I knew my feelings for Thrax were true, but now and then, I still questioned my sanity.

We had stayed away from Possedion during the last two days. Thrax went in to bring food and water to our prisoner, but that was it. Neither one of us was willing to deal with the evil Ohrur. Both of us feared how that would end for him. So we decided to wait until we met up with the others. They would have some questions as well.

Last night, Thrax activated the drone again to prevent Possedion from sleeping. Just a subtle reminder of our power over him and to turn him more cooperative when we presented him to the others.

The others.

With every minute that ticked by, my nervousness increased. To a level where I wondered, what if they don't like me?

"Easy, Hannah, all will be well," Thrax assured me, rubbing my knee lightly to stop my leg from moving up and down to the beat of a drummer on speed. I hadn't even noticed I was doing it.

I smiled up at him. "It will be, right?"

"One way or another." He nodded.

I took a deep breath and felt myself calm some until he shouted, "There!"

His voice betrayed his own nervous anticipation, making me smile. He wasn't as cool as he liked to portray.

"Now what?" I asked breathlessly.

"Now we dock. Come." He quickly entered a few orders, then took my hand to lead me back to the cargo area of his ship. My heart was pounding inside my throat now, and my hands were getting clammy. I would have loved to wipe the one Thrax was holding, but I didn't have the courage to let go.

A small jerk moved through the ship, and then the hatch opened. My legs felt frozen to the ground, but a gentle tug from Thrax made me move forward, following him a step behind as we walked through the opening into another cargo area, very similar to his, just bigger and stacked with boxes.

"Welcome." A tall Space Guardian moved forward, holding out his hand. "I'm Zaarek, and this is Nova," he said, introducing the woman next to him.

"The others are waiting in the break room. We didn't want to overwhelm you."

Thrax and Zaarek clasped each other's elbows. Thrax must have been just as surprised as I was when the other man pulled him in for a quick hug, clapping him deftly on the shoulder.

In the meantime, I took the opportunity to look at the other woman, who was definitely human, like me, and was taking me in with her electric blue eyes. Not as curious as me, more assessing. She wore a smile, but it looked like it was more for show than heartfelt. I swallowed, hoping she didn't dislike me on the spot.

I hadn't been a popular kid during high school, but I had gotten along with everyone—the loners and the popular kids. I didn't always get invited to their groups or outings, but I would sometimes hang out with one group or another. Later, it was my job to get along with everyone and be the shoulder my clients could lean on. Close friends were never part of my life, yet I always had a list of names to reach out to when loneliness or boredom struck.

"Hi, nice to meet you," the black-haired woman said in a deep Southern accent.

"I'm Hannah." I quickly wiped my hand on my pants before holding it out to her, "Nova?"

She took my hand. "Yes, and that big guy there is Zaarek, in case you missed it." Her smile was warming up slightly.

"Hard to miss," I replied with a small smirk.

"Right?" Her eyes darted over to the silver alien and lit up with love, helping me relax a little. She seemed as smitten with her giant as I was with mine.

She noticed my gaze moving to her marks and held out her arm. "It's strange how similar they are."

I copied her move and saw that she was right. Besides some small differences, hers and mine seemed identical. "Do you know if they mean anything?"

"From what we learned, they're supposed to tell a story, but we haven't been able to figure it out yet." Nova filled me in.

I took my queue. "We?"

"There is Zoe and Raasla, Luph and Noodar and Vraax."

"Are Zoe and Luph… uhm… human too?"

"Zoe is." Nova nodded. "Luph is… Luph. Don't stare too much when you meet her, 'kay?"

Her accent was heavy, but it helped that I had an aunt in Alexandria whom we had visited frequently while I was growing up.

"Where are you from?" I asked, not wanting to talk about Luph too much. Her warning was already turning my stomach with anticipation.

"Louisiana," Nova replied.

"My aunt lived in Alexandria," I explained my curiosity, feeling a bit foolish but also antsy just at the thought of having something in common with her.

Her eyes flickered for just a moment. "I lived in Shreveport for a while. Before that, I grew up by Krotz Springs."

"Wow," I nearly squeaked. "What a small w—" I stumbled over the word.

"Universe, right?" Nova nodded.

"Are you ladies ready to see the others?" Zaarek asked.

"Uhm," all confidence I had gained in the last few minutes seemed to evaporate.

"Come on, you'll fit right in," Nova assured me, giving me a gentle push. "Remember, just don't stare," she whispered in my ear.

Oh shit, great advice. It's right up there with don't push the red button .

This ship definitely seemed bigger than Thrax's. The walls were a different color, lighter, and the floor didn't seem as hard. "Luph just bought this ship. We needed a bigger one to accommodate all of us," Nova explained.

Thrax and Zaarek walked a few paces behind us in deep discussion. As much as I wanted to touch him to reassure myself, it would have been too obvious.

"It's… nice," I retorted.

We walked up a flight of stairs that could have been housed inside any fancy commercial building. Silver rails shimmered lightly, giving me the impression that they would probably illuminate at night. As a result of a nervous habit of mine, I counted fifteen steps on the way up, where the hallway split to the left, right, and straight ahead.

"Our quarters are this way." Nova pointed down to the right. "And our common break room is this way." She led me straight ahead.

I heard voices from farther down, and my edginess grew. Easy, Hannah, you've got this , I told myself. But it didn't work. These were most likely some of the most important people I would ever meet in my life, and I was nervous as hell. We were all going to work together for the foreseeable future, and it wasn't the kind of work you could simply quit. I wanted to like these people, and I wanted them to like me, too.

"Well, here they are." Nova pointed from one to the other. "Zoe, Luph, Noodar, Raasla, and Vraax."

Someone cleared their throat, and we turned toward a small alien, whom I instantly recognized as Nock.

"And Nock," Zaarek added dryly.

"Pleasure." Nock nodded with a wide grin .

"You are a genius," I blurted out. "You are the reason we found the others."

"Hah!" Nock threw a triumphant glare at Zaarek, who looked heavenward as if praying for strength.

All right, I took a deep breath to look back at the women. Don't stare, don't stare, don't stare . I plastered a smile on my face, ready to shake hands with them when first Zoe and then Luph enveloped me into a big bear hug.

"We're so happy to meet you," Zoe exclaimed, beaming at me.

"Uhm, you too." I looked from one to the other— don't stare, don't stare, don't stare— and managed to smile at them equally and look at them an equal amount of time. Still… Luph was very… different, to put it politely.

It took an effort not to wipe my skin where we touched because her body was covered in patches that looked like they were leaking puss. Her skin reminded me of the color and texture of an elephant's, with irregular patches of hair here and there that had been lovingly braided in places. Her eyes, however, were a bright amber, and her smile so endearing that it reversed any sensations of revulsion. I found myself hugging her back with more vigor than I thought possible.

Zoe was beautiful in a very unassuming way, with her brown hair and startling gray eyes.

I exchanged handshakes with the other Space Guardians, who all, except Vraax and Nock, wore the same mating marks.

"Come, I've prepared some snacks and refreshments." Zoe pulled my arm, directing me toward a large table that offered plenty of seating for all of us and was filled with an assortment of snacks and beverages. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at the sight of rolls. Honest to God, real bread rolls.

"Oh my God." I stared at the basket filled with them.

Zoe snickered. "Go ahead, take one."

"Right?" Nova shook her head. "I couldn't believe it at first either, but Lady Silla is building a human colony with real human food, and she just loves to fill our ships with provisions."

I remembered seeing images of Lady Silla on the comm and fell in love with her the moment I took a bite from a roll that was still warm. My eyes even watered. It had been so long since I had eaten anything but mush.

"It's okay to cry." Zoe patted my arm, making me giggle.

Thrax threw a concerned look at me from across the table, and I winked at him reassuringly. He had tried sitting next to me, but the girls had shouldered him out of the way and were surrounding me now.

"All right, tell us your story," Zoe encouraged. "How did you two meet?"

Longingly, I stared at another roll, contemplating if it would be rude to grab one so quickly after I had just stuffed my face and did a quick calculation if there were enough for all of us to have two. I was glad Zoe interrupted my gluttonous behavior, and I gave them a quick rundown on how Thrax and I met while the other aliens listened in.

Afterward, it was their turn. Raasla had rescued Zoe from aboard a Cryon ship with many others, while Zaarek had bought Nova and several more humans at a slave auction. Noodar's story was different. He had been assigned to protect Princess Luphelia on her way to her wedding when they fell in love and simply ran away.

As different as our stories were, they all were the same when it came to the unexpected appearance of mating marks. This was where Noodar and Luph's story also differed. Neither one had been in pain from receiving the marks, and they didn't appear until they were already in love.

"This has all of us a little stymied," Nova confessed. "I mean, the sudden appearance of humans might explain why suddenly the Space Guardians are finding their fated mates, but Noodar and Luph are totally different. "

"So why hasn't this happened before?" Zaarek asked the group.

"I might know the answer to this." Thrax pulled up his comm and moved to the spot he had marked. "I found a few documents stating that Space Guardians are apt to fail between their twentieth and thirtieth year of service. How long have you all been working for the Ohrurs?" He turned to the other Space Guardians.

"Somewhere around there, twenty-five," Noodar acknowledged.

"Twenty-six," Zaarek announced.

"Twenty-one," Raasla said.

The four turned toward Vraax, who was the only one not sitting with us at the table but standing leaning against the wall, his arms crossed as if he were contemplating killing us all. The notion created a shudder running down my spine.

"Nineteen," he finally pushed out.

"Okay, so let's assume, for the moment, that something inside us fails between twenty and thirty years of service." Thrax continued, "I also discovered that we weren't the first ones finding our Soulbonds. Only the first ones to question everything else. From what I learned, other Space Guardians who found their Soulbonds reported to the Ohrurs."

"What happened to them?" Luph asked with wide eyes.

"They were terminated," Thrax stated.

"You have proof of that?" Vraax demanded.

"I thought we were past this proof shit." Zaarek glared at the other Space Guardian.

"Here." Thrax pushed the cube he had been looking at toward Vraax. "This is straight from the Ohrur database. Possedion gave me access to a fake database, but then I convinced him to give me access to the real thing."

"And we're sure this is it?" Vraax questioned.

"I haven't seen any reason not to think so," Thrax replied .

Vraax read through the text Thrax had pointed out to him while the others looked gloomy and pissed.

"So after what, thirty years, they just terminate us?" Zaarek finally said when the silence stretched on too long.

"Something happens to us between twenty and thirty years of service," Thrax confirmed. "I'm not sure?—"

"Like dreams," Zaarek voiced, and I stared at him as astonished as Thrax.

"Yeah." Thrax nodded.

"Even Vraax had some dreams," Zaarek filled us in.

"What about you?" Thrax turned to Raasla, who hadn't spoken much of anything yet. That didn't change. He grunted in response that could be either a yes or a no.

"I've dreamed of forests and running," Thrax opened up.

"Yes, and a city," Zaarek agreed.

Vraax sighed. "I'm running from something through a forest."

"What does that mean?" I asked, trying hard not to look at Thrax and not to be thinking about Suahaana, glad he didn't mention her, but also thinking that maybe if he would… maybe if the others… oh, I didn't know what I was thinking or hoping for.

Everyone shrugged.

"Don't forget the headaches," Noodar added.

"Yeah, there are those," Zaarek agreed, closing his eyes for a moment.

"We need to get some answers from Possedion on this." Thrax offered.