Page 39 of Guarded Knight (Echo Valley #3)

Gabriel’s arm is heavy around my middle, anchoring me like I might drift off without him. Last night was everything. The kind of everything that changes you down to the bone.

Except it hasn’t changed anything, has it?

It does feel as though something has shifted.

Gabriel isn’t uncertain about me. He feels this way despite my condition…

my future. He knows it better than anyone else.

Doesn’t that mean I’m not a burden? That I would be, if he didn’t have his issues, his choice?

All those questions swirl in my mind, but a more obvious one stares me in the face.

Last night, with Freya’s certainty and mine combining, Kevin’s fraud means total uncertainty, likely the end of Scarlet Hope.

It all comes back to me… the notes on my car, the footsteps in the dark, the message waiting at home— it pretty much all started around the time I first asked him about the transactions.

It can’t be a coincidence. People do crazy things for money. And this is years’ worth of it.

Once we expose him, we’re unemployed. No job and no health insurance isn’t an option for me. I’m not sure Café Luna offers benefits. Not to mention, it’s a noble cause, cafés are a refuge and comfort zone for so many, but it’s not what I thought I’d do with my life.

Which means no matter how much I want to stay wrapped in this bed, in him, I’ll probably have to leave this town. Leave Gabriel. And he needs to stay here, with his family, where things matter, to heal. The thought alone is enough to hollow me out.

Suddenly, my tight lungs beg to be cleared like they always do in the morning. The scratch comes first, dry and stubborn, the familiar catch of air that waits for me in the morning. I should wake up untouchable after a night like that, but instead…

Cough.

I try to smother it, keep it small. I don’t want to wake him and remind him what loving me really means.

Cough.

His arm tightens, pulling me closer.

Cough.

“Firefly,” his voice rasps against my ear, “the coughing doesn’t bother me any more than the snoring.”

I turn around, and his eyes are still closed, but there’s a small smile playing on his lips, and somehow, despite how relaxed his features are, I wonder if he never even slept. Knowing him, he didn’t.

I kiss his forehead, then sit up to grab the water. “Coughing and snoring are a small price to pay for the promise of anal sex.”

“Lara…” He says my name the way he’s said it a million times before, like I’m the funniest girl in the world.

I laugh at myself, but it only makes me cough again, full force this time. I nestle back down into the crook of his arm. But I’m there for but a moment when Gabriel sits up like he’s been jolted by a tripwire. Every muscle coiled, every sense flared.

“Xander!” He whispers sharply.

I blink. “What?”

His head tilts slightly, listening.

And then I hear it, too—footsteps echoing from downstairs. My brother’s deep, familiar voice. Another smaller voice babbling beside it. Then another. My nieces.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I bolt upright. “Oh my God.” I cough again. Ugh. This is a shambles.

Gabriel’s already halfway into his jeans, scanning the room like he’s preparing for combat. “Shit. He said he was in San Francisco for work… He said he’d come by, but I didn’t think he meant today.”

My brother just loves a surprise because he didn’t tell me.

Usually, I like them, too, and in any other situation, this would have been a treat.

Gabriel swears under his breath and shoves one leg into his jeans. “I need a shirt.”

“You need a miracle.” I scramble for the first thing I can find, his hoodie from last night, and throw it over my head. The hem hits mid-thigh. My hair’s a mess. My thighs are still sticky. I look like every single walk of shame you can imagine.

Voices float closer. Little girl giggles. My brother’s voice laughing with Anton’s.

Gabriel’s eyes go wide. “I’ll hide.”

“Where?”

He looks toward the closet like he’s considering full military retreat but then darts behind the door instead.

“Really?” I whisper. “That’s your plan?”

“Go!” he hisses, wild-eyed. “Buy us thirty seconds.”

I crack the door open just enough to peek out, and yep. There’s my big brother at the bottom of the stairs with two tiny, cute humans attached to him like accessories. Poppy’s got a juice box, Daisy a one-eyed teddy bear that’s seen better days.

I try to take a deep breath but only cough again, and this time, I get a good clearing.

Xander grins when he spots me. “Hey! Thought I’d bring the girls by as a surprise.”

To cheer you up, he means.

Two angelic faces stare up at me and cheer in unison. “Surprise!”

“Awesome!” I say, way too chipper.

“Did we wake you?” There’s judgment in his voice, and he runs his gaze down my disheveled ensemble. “Damn, Lara,” he glances at his watch, “it’s like seven-thirty.”

My brother thinks six a.m. is late.

“Nope! I was working in my room.” My gaze catches on my laptop with a mermaid sticker over the Mac Apple, which I left on the coffee table in the living room. Crap.

Lies. Big, hoodie-covered, post-orgasm lies.

His eyes drop to what I’m wearing. “That sweatshirt looks familiar.”

I freeze. “What?”

“Is that Gabriel’s?”

I glance down. Damn it. It’s huge on me. Navy blue with a frayed cuff and that faded SEAL team logo. So not subtle.

“Oh, I dunno.” I tug the hem. “He sacrificed his room for me. I probably just grabbed the wrong one.”

Xander gives me a look. The kind only an older brother can give, the one that says: You’re full of shit.

“I’ll be right down,” I say quickly. “Just need to, um, put on pants. And underwear.”

Thank God Gabriel is a million times taller than me.

Xander lifts an all-knowing eyebrow, and his features fill with suspicion and maybe a warning.

Shit. I’m in trouble. Or Gabriel is. Or both of us are.

Xander knows. He’s way too smart, plus I am a shitty liar.

I go back in the room. Gabriel is still behind the door. I run to my overnight bag and grab a hair tie, throw my hair up in a messy bun, and wiggle into a pair of jeans. I fall over putting my socks on one by one.

I hiss, “How are you going to sneak into the frame? You can’t just come downstairs, too, or Xander will know you were in here.”

“I can come out of the guest room,” he offers but he isn’t even convincing himself.

I put a hand on my hip and blow a strand of hair off my forehead. “Better idea?”

“I’ll crawl out the window and come through the front.”

“We’re on the second floor.”

“And?”

Right. I’m in a situationship with an ex-SEAL. “Don’t break a leg because that would be a dead giveaway.”

I haven’t even stopped to think about Xander in all this. A faint flush is visible under Gabriel’s tanned cheeks, and it tells me while I haven’t, he has. But wouldn’t Xander be happy for us? He’s wanted me settled. Right?

Something about Gabriel’s frantic movements and loss of cool tells me he doesn’t assume the same.

I head for the door, and he grabs my hand before I leave and plants a huge, reassuring kiss on my lips. “You’re not my secret.”

It undoes me, the way he says it like it’s simple. Like this thing between us could stretch into forever. But forever and me don’t go together, and I’m not ready for Xander to know about something that might still fall apart.

It’s probably better not to have my very opinionated brother in the picture just yet.

“Be careful.”

I take the stairs quickly, though I’m not too keen on facing Xander, I can’t wait to hold my nieces again.

I tell myself I’ve made peace with it. That being the fun aunt is enough. But every time they fling themselves at me, some part of me cracks open all over again, because deep down, I know I’ll never have motherhood for myself.

I turn the corner from the stairwell and jog toward them with open arms.

“Party people!”

They run toward me, and I have to bend down to take them into my embrace. They’re growing fast and the last time they jumped up on me, I nearly fell over.

“Auntie Lara!” they say in unison.

I pull back. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Poppy says, “Last time Dad was here, we went to Café Luna, and they have really good chocolate muffins and hot chocolate with chocolate marshmallows.”

“Oh,” I say, “is it National Chocolate Day? My favorite day of the year!”

“There’s a National Chocolate Day?” Daisy twists and looks at her dad seriously. “Why don’t we ever celebrate National Chocolate Day?”

Xander steps near, and I stand to hug my brother, hoping I don’t smell like sex. If I do, he doesn’t say.

“Dais, it’s chocolate day at our house every day.” He keeps his hands on my arms and gives me a once over. “I had a meeting in San Francisco and figured it was a perfect way for me to check on you for free.”

I tilt my head. “Aw, don’t you know how to make a girl feel special?”

He imitates my movement, almost mocking but also a silent confession… he made that meeting so he could see me. To make sure I was safe. No amount of updates from Gabriel, and I’m sure he’s been giving them, would reassure Xander. He needs to see things with his own eyes to believe it.

It should make me feel smothered, the way he builds excuses just to check on me. But all I can feel is love… and guilt. He’ll never stop caring for me, and I’m a big fat liar.

Just then, the front door opens.

Gabriel walks in steady, composed, hoodie zipped halfway up, disheveled hair. His gaze lands on me first, then shifts to the girls, then finally Xander.

“Morning. You didn’t say you were coming today.” He passes Xander and heads straight for the girls.

Poppy lights up and runs toward him. “Grumpzilla!”

Gabriel crouches just in time for her to launch into his arms. “Hey, tiny terror.”

Daisy barrels in next. “We’re getting chocolate muffins!”

“Lucky me,” Gabriel lifts both girls off the ground and into his arms. “Guess I picked the right time to come back.”

Xander leans a hip against the kitchen island, arms folded. “You were out?”

Gabriel doesn’t miss a beat. “Yeah.”

“So you left Lara here on her own?”

Gabriel nods once, still not gazing at him directly. “Anton was in.”

Xander watches him a beat longer than necessary. Gabriel sets the girls down and ruffles Daisy’s hair.

Anton steps forward with a thermal mug in hand. “Gabriel’s been all over it.”

Xander arches a brow. “That right?”

“Mm-hmm.” Anton sips and peers over the top of his mug. “Lara’s been covered day and night.”

Before Anton can be on the receiving end of our sarcastic thank-you dagger stares, he shoves his head in the fridge.

I clear my throat and try to steer us back to the girls. “You two just here for muffins and chaos?”

Poppy nods. “Dad says it’s a check-in but it’s really just ‘cause we begged to see Auntie Lara.”

I laugh and ruffle her curls. “Obviously. Who could resist my magnetic charm?”

Daisy wrinkles her nose. “What’s magnetic?”

“Something you can’t stay away from,” Gabriel says, not missing a beat and taking his eyes off me just as quickly as they landed there.

The way his voice dips on the word makes my skin flush. Last night was exactly that—magnetic. And if I let myself dwell on it, I’ll give everything away right here in front of my brother.

What I wouldn’t give to tell someone what happened last night.

Xander’s gaze traces every inch of Gabriel’s body language. “So… where’d you sleep?”

G doesn’t answer right away. He’s focused on Daisy’s juice box, helping her pop the straw in without looking up. “The couch.”

Xander lifts one brow.

I jump in before this escalates. “Why are you acting weird?” I get one chance to ask that question. I hope I don’t need that later because asking twice will give Xander all he needs to know.

Xander glances at Anton.

Anton shrugs. “Nothing weird in this place.”

I will happily spar Anton in the gym next time he asks.

Gabriel doesn’t say a word, but he knows. And part of me wants him to. Wants this to be real enough to tell the whole world. But what if it isn’t? What if it falls apart, like everything else? Then Xander will have one more reason to worry about me.

And I’ll have one more broken thing I can’t fix.