Page 41 of Groom Gamble
“Should we eat them?”
“What?! No!”
So much for strict moral code. I appear to have raised a savage little cannibal.
“But we ate the lambs from that farm we went to,” she argues with apparent reasonableness. “And you said that it was normal. Part of the circle of life, you said.”
“I didnotsay to eat humans.” I am very certain about that.
“Youjustsaid that this was like animals.” She pouts.
God help me.
Out of the corner of my eye I can see Sophia covering her mouth to prevent herself from snort-laughing.
Damnit, this never happens in Sophia’s romcoms. I’ve read a lot of them now, and I’m positive there isn’t one—even the dark ones—where a murderous kingpin has to talk his child out of cannibalism. I suppose I was due some bad luck when I’ve been blessed with my wife, my five children—so far—and having destroyed the Essex Cartel, but really.
“It is in some ways, but not others,” I say.
“So that rule applies only to animals?” Raina asks seriously. “The one about eating them or it’s a waste.”
“Yes.” I think we’re back on solid territory. This is fine. No inappropriate consumption?—
“What about dogs?”
“No.” Zero positive thoughts that I’m on the right track until this conversation is entirely over. I just tempted fate. “We don’t eat dogs. We don’t eat anything that eats other animals.”
“What about insects?”
“They’re okay.” I hold my breath, waiting for her to bring up another scenario. Goats, perhaps. Or pigs. Did I tell the kidsabout pigs eating bodies? Please, please no. And I really hope I didn’t mention vegetarianism.
“It’s confusing,” she tells me with absolute confidence of a child who knows her father will also fix things and always explain it all.
“Yes.” It’s hard to admit there’s no simple explanation. I want to be a parent who protects and makes the world perfect for my kids, but even I can’t manage that.
Raina nods seriously.
“Daddy,” she says in that voice that announces she has a question, and she’s not sure I’ll like it.
“Yes, baby girl.”
“Can we go to the park?”
Oh thank god.
A grin spreads across my face. “Yes, we can go to the park.”
I look out over Streatham Common less often now, but when I do, it’s more enjoyable. I used to feel alone and isolated when I saw families. But now I have Sophia, and the kids. I have everything I want.
“With everyone?” Raina checks.
“Yes, the whole family.”
Above Raina’s head I catch Sophia’s eye and our gazes lock. Her expression is full of relief that this conversation went well, and my heart expands.
Sometimes I just cannot stop looking at my wife. This is one of those moments. She’s perfect, glowing, and sweet. The opposite of me, and yet she’s mine.
“We’ll all go to the park,” Sophia agrees. But the way she bites her lip tells me she hasn’t forgotten what we were about to do before our eldest baby interrupted.
Tonight, I silently promise her.