Page 26 of Grim and Oro (Lightlark)

FLYING

I lie in bed and think about those moments again and again, replaying the memories over and over.

Watching her eyes flutter closed. Hearing her call out my name.

As I remember it all, pleasure blinds me, then fades all too quickly.

It’s been like this for hours. My hand falls onto the bed beside me, exhausted. This bed ... it’s so large. So empty. I never thought of it that way until I saw her in it. I breathe in her lingering scent, the shreds of aura left behind.

I wish she was here right now. I wish she was always here. But she’s not. I’m alone, making a mess of myself, just like she’s made a mess of my life.

Thinking of any way I can ensure she’s always part of it.

“Is something ... wrong? With ... you?” Astria asks when she sees me the next day, on my way to yet another council meeting.

“No. Why?” I demand, looking down at my clothes. They are immaculate, as always. Nothing is wrong with me.

“Nothing, I—” She frowns. “You—you were smiling ?”

Was I?

Perhaps it’s because I was thinking of how, after she said, “I’ll remember,” Isla kissed me so hard I nearly saw stars behind my eyelids. She kissed me until she fell asleep in my arms, and that was where she remained, until I portaled her back to her room.

I wonder if she can still taste me in her mouth the way I can taste her.

Astria clears her throat. She’s staring at me as if I’ve grown another head.

“Do you ... do you by chance read any of the books in the library?” She asks it casually, but I can feel her spike of panic.

“No. Why?”

“No reason,” she says quickly, and I drop it, because I don’t give a damn about the books in the library.

I wonder if Isla would. I wonder if she would like to see my library.

I’ve seen the dog-eared books she keeps in her bedroom. Perhaps she’d like more. She can have mine. She can have all of them.

Astria is still eyeing me curiously. I glare at her, and that seems to remind her of her station. She composes herself and walks back into the council meeting, where I’m expected.

I would rather be anywhere else.

I count down the minutes until I’ll see Isla again in the room we’ve set up in my castle, the one I have filled with illusions of the cave to practice on. We have a plan now, one we developed together.

I’ll get the dragon out of the cave. Isla will go through each of the enchanted obstacles, and get to the sword, before the creature returns.

Mastering each obstacle buys me time, but not much. After a few weeks, she’s mastered them completely. Of course. I lean against the wall, watching her complete it successfully for the tenth time.

She beams at me when she’s done, and it reaches my very soul. She slides down the wall to the floor, spent.

“I’m exhausted,” she says, and I want to tell her I know, I can feel it , but I love it when she talks to me, so I don’t.

“I can imagine.”

She looks at me and scrunches her nose. I’ve just come from the scar, and I’m covered in ash. “You look awful.”

“ That is harder to imagine, but I will take your word for it.”

She rolls her eyes, and I fight a smile. “I’m ready. Why don’t we celebrate?”

Finally enacting our plan makes me feel like doing anything but celebrating, but her hope is so bubbling, so uplifting, that I can’t help but raise a brow at her, wanting to hear more.

“Tonight is the Launch of Orbs in the Skyling newland,” she says. “It’s to celebrate the new season of hot-air balloons being unveiled.”

I scowl. Skylings and their endless festivals. “They are always finding an excuse to celebrate. I bet they celebrate tying their own shoes.”

She frowns at me. “I’ve always wanted to ride in one,” she says, so earnestly, I wish I hadn’t said anything at all.

But the idea of being in the air, of flying , makes me suddenly uneasy. “Don’t you have anyone else to go with?”

I immediately regret my words. My tone. Of course she doesn’t have anyone else. Of course she doesn’t have friends, just like I don’t.

She gives me a withering look. “You know what? I’m sure I can find someone else to spend the evening with me.” Her implication is clear. She is not going to find a friend . She turns on her heel, but before she can take a step, I’m there, holding her wrist, holding her still.

No. I’ve already missed dancing with her. I will not sit around and let someone else take her on a balloon trip. I shouldn’t have even suggested it.

“Don’t even think about it.”

She turns to face me. My shadows are spilling everywhere, in panic that she might actually choose someone else, and she can see them. She lifts her chin in defiance, and I would expect nothing less. “Let go of me.”

“Never.”

And I mean it.

She’s breathing rapidly. Her eyes are still locked in a glare, but her voice is brittle. “Might I remind you that there is nothing between us. I do not belong to you. And you do not belong to me. If we decide to have ... fun ... then that is all it is. Momentary entertainment. Nothing more.”

Her words cut me like knives, but I choose to focus on the end goal, if only for my own benefit. My grin is wicked. “Oh, Hearteater.” I lean down so my lips are pressed against her ear. “If we do decide to truly have fun, there will be nothing momentary about it.”

No ... if she lets me have her, I’m going to have her completely.

I’ve had months to think about all the things I want to do to her. If she lets me, I’m going to take my time doing them. Over and over again. Until her voice is hoarse from screaming my name, until her legs are trembling, until she is boneless and spent.

She swallows, and it’s as if she can sense my every thought. My every desire.

“Take me to the festival,” she says, voice breathless. I taste her own desire, as sharp as mine.

I don’t want to go to the Skyling newland. But she asked. And I’ll give her anything she wants.

“Fine,” I say. “Get dressed.”

Isla, ruler of Wildling, with a closet full of dresses in almost every shade, apparently didn’t have anything to wear, so she sent me to a Skyling market with a list.

I don’t know how I went from being a warrior and ruler of Nightshade to running errands, but here I am, disguised, wandering from stall to stall, asking if anyone has glitter .

And the worst part is, I don’t mind. I don’t mind at all.

Later, back in her room, she takes ages to get ready. After an hour, I can no longer contain my impatience. “Are you preparing for battle or for a foolish party, Hearteater?” Even putting on my armor takes just minutes. What could possibly take over an hour?

“Both, if you’re going to be so insufferable,” she says, finally opening the door.

I stare, stunned. Seeing her in everything I bought takes my breath away.

She’s wearing a short blue dress and shoes that look torturous to walk in. My eyes move directly to her legs. Then, they rise to the hem of her dress. To her chest. To her shoulders, dusted in the glitter I found for her.

I swallow hard. I’m done. Ruined. I might as well bury myself, at this point.

“How do I look?” she asks, spinning around, the hem of her dress lifting gently. I flex my hands to keep from reaching out to touch her.

She looks incredible.

But she’s wearing the wrong colors. I frown.

“You look like a Skyling,” I say, not hiding my preference for seeing her in my own realm’s shades.

“Good,” she says. “That’s exactly what I was going for.”

This celebration is ridiculous.

Everyone is ridiculous, dressed up in glimmering fabrics that make my eyes bleed. It’s too crowded. Too loud. Too joyous.

I scowl as someone has the nerve to touch my arm as they pass, and I have to remind myself that we are disguised. No one knows who we are.

Everything in me wants to leave, until I turn to her and notice she’s beaming at everything I hate.

Her joy is more radiant than all the balloons in the sky.

She loves this. “It’s beautiful,” she breathes.

I feel the slight heat of embarrassment.

She knows I’m looking at her. She frowns and places her hands on either side of my face, trying to turn my head toward the balloons, but I don’t budge.

I’m looking at exactly what I came here to see.

I tell her the same thing I’ve thought a thousand times.

“When you’ve seen something truly beautiful, everything else starts to look painfully ordinary. ”

She takes my hand, and my first reaction is to tense, to drop it. But then I curl my fingers around hers, and yes. I like this. I could get used to this.

“Come on,” she says, and I realize I’ll follow her anywhere.

Azul, ruler of Skyling, is giving a speech somewhere nearby. She asks about him, and I answer her questions. I’m glad I formed illusions around us, for he would have spotted me instantly, and that would have been the end of this.

Seeing him makes me remember how reckless it is to come here uninvited. But I don’t care. In this moment, my fingers twined with hers, I don’t care at all.

Isla does, though. She drops my hand, and I grab it again, pressing her palm more firmly against mine. Her desire flares, and I glance at her.

Then she asks, “What do you think of Azul?”

I tell her the truth. “He runs his realm as a democracy. Everyone has a say. It’s foolish.”

She frowns. “That doesn’t sound foolish to me.”

She hasn’t yet seen war. She hasn’t seen factions forming, battling against each other.

Eventually, she will see for herself. She will make her own choices for her realm.

Not if she dies unlocking the sword , I think, and my chest goes hollow.

No. Tonight is her night. She wanted to be here, celebrating it. I won’t take that away from her.

I lead her to all the hot-air balloons she wanted to see so badly.

“Choose,” I tell her.

She frowns. “I don’t think we can choose, and I think there’s a line—”

I portal us to the one I noticed her staring at. In moments, we’re floating toward the stars.

She gasps and steps backward, right into my chest.

I snake an arm around her, pinning her to me, holding her where I wish I could hold her forever.

Then, I look over the side.