Page 5 of Grave Sins (Graveyard of Hearts Collection #2)

Maisy

“Weirdest way I’ve ever been rejected,” I say, and Kendra laughs.

“No, it’s not… I mean, it is… fuck,” Archer sighs again.

“He’s afraid of hurting you,” Kendra says.

“Archer…” I say.

“Maisy, honey. I will do anything to keep you safe, but I don’t want you to feel like this has to happen. We can find another way,” Archer says.

“I hate to break it to you, man,” Andre says. “Short of going to war with Harrison, this is it. Play his game and hope for the best.”

“We can pool our money together so you don’t have to wipe out your savings,” Kendra says to Archer.

“Kendra, I just asked you guys to be here to help her feel safe. I’m not asking for you to…”

“I am going to say this as nicely as possible, Archer,” Kendra says. “You need to just suck it up and accept that we are helping.”

“Why?” I ask. “Why do any of you want to help me?”

“Because everyone deserves to have someone in their corner,” Kendra tells me.

“I mean… I have my brother,” I say.

“Can you be sure he won’t put you in danger?” Marcus asks. “Even accidentally?”

“No… I guess not.”

“This is the first time I have ever seen Archer allow himself to be alone with a woman,” Kendra says.

“What? My therapist is a woman,” Archer says.

“I meant here. In your home,” Kendra says. “Have you ever brought anyone here?”

“No,” Archer says with a frown.

“You don’t get laid?” Julie asks. “No wonder you are so damn grumpy.”

“First of all, I do get laid,” Archer says. “And I’m not grumpy.”

“How about this?” I say. “Why don’t you and I just… spend time together? I can call my brother so he knows, but I won’t tell him where I am.”

“Are you sure?” Archer asks me.

“I would much rather just leave and figure it out on my own,” I start to say, but he frowns at me.

“You’ll get hurt again,” Archer says with a deep frown.

“My options right now are to go back to my parents and hope for the best, run and hope they don’t catch me, or marry you,” I say.

“My father sold me once, so he will do it again. I don’t even have shoes, let alone the ability to run, so you are all I have…

Well… Unless I just throw myself off a bridge, but I’m guessing you won’t let me do that. ”

“No,” he says firmly.

“How can we help you feel comfortable?” Kendra asks Archer.

“That’s the problem, Kendra. I am comfortable.” Archer says, suddenly raising his voice. “I am comfortable with a woman who was literally just raped, when that is exactly what I did to you. I raped you, Kendra. She deserves better than that.”

I am realizing that he is scared of himself.

He is afraid he will lose control and want me, which means he is attracted to me.

I huff and stand up from the couch, and everyone looks at me.

I walk over to stand in front of Archer, and he looks stunned, like he knows what I am about to do.

He has his ankle propped on his other knee, so I knock it off and climb into his lap to straddle him.

Kendra giggles when his eyes go wide, but I take his face between my hands and focus on his panic. “You say you want to help me… That you’ll do anything to help me… but you are afraid of me?”

“I’m not afraid of you,” he says softly. “I’m afraid of wanting you.”

“Why don’t you want me?”

“I do… I just… I don’t want to want you. I shouldn’t want to keep you for myself… Not after…”

“Not after raping the woman sitting here telling you that she wants you to help me?” I ask. “I might not know you, but I know broken. I see on your face what I feel every day.”

“You haven’t hurt someone like I have,” he says. “I shot my uncle in the face and didn’t even flinch. I hurt Kendra. I—”

I grab his face and kiss him, and his entire body relaxes. When I go to pull away, he grabs my face and kisses me harder.

“Oh shit,” Julie laughs.

“Hell yeah. Get it, Archer,” Chrissy cheers.

“All of you are annoying,” Archer pulls back and says to his family.

“Archer,” Andre says as he comes over to kneel beside us. “If you want to help her, this is what needs to happen. Stay in separate rooms. Never touch again. It doesn’t matter. Get through having sex one time and act like a couple in public, and she is safe.”

“What if I hurt her?” Archer asks quietly.

“Get really good at learning how to apologize,” he says. “Spend the evening getting to know each other, and talk to your therapist tomorrow when you go to group.”

“Yeah,” Archer says, looking at me. “Are you…”

“I’m sure,” I say.

“We are gonna go. Come to the house after group tomorrow,” Kendra says. “And no, you don’t have a choice. You don’t want to make the babies sad, do you?”

“Oh, that’s not fair. I love them,” Archer says with a frown.

“Exactly. So you better be there, or I’ll spam your phone with videos of them pouting,” Kendra says. “Maisy, it was wonderful to meet you.”

“You too,” I say. Archer watches me closely as everyone leaves. When the door shuts, he closes his eyes and lays his head back. I suddenly get the feeling that I’m not wanted here, and I get nervous.

What if he doesn’t actually want to help?

Is that why he is so reluctant?

He was just minding his own business.

What if he regrets helping?

I shouldn’t have come here.

I am slowly spiraling, so I quickly get out of his lap. “Whoa. What’s wrong?” Archer asks, standing with me.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be pushing you to help me,” I say as stubborn tears trail down my cheek. “I’m just going to go. Thank you for your help.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Maisy. Stop. What’s going on?” He asks, moving in front of me when I turn to the door. “You flipped fast. What’s happening?”

“You don’t want me here. I get it. I’m sorry,” I sniff. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I interrupted your evening.”

“Maisy, you didn’t interrupt my evening,” he says pleadingly. “I do want you here. I do. I’m never comfortable, but I am with you. Please, talk to me. What can I do?”

“Nothing,” I say. “You don’t have to punish yourself by saving me.”

“It’s not a punishment, Maisy. I promise,” he says softly.

“Then what is it?!” I scream tearfully. “I feel fucking insane. I was just raped, and all I want is you. You’re a stranger, but I want you to marry me.

I want you to save me. I want a normal life.

I want to feel something other than sadness.

Goddamn it, I just want to be happy. Why is that so fucking wrong? !

“It’s not wrong, Maisy,” he says gently, holding my face between his hands. My entire body is shaking with rage and sadness.

“Why does no one want me? ” I ask, choking out a sob. “Everyone just takes and takes and takes from me. I’m empty. I have nothing left, Archer. I want to feel something; anything.”

“Maisy, I want you. I do. I want you more than I know how to handle. So much so that I think I’m broken. I’m terrified that it’s too good to be true,” he says. “What are the chances that a monster like me could find a girl as precious as you, Maisy?”

“About the same as someone who doesn’t see the cracks in my soul,” I sniff. “I’ve spent my life with everyone chipping away at my heart, convincing me that I’ll never find happiness. And then I found you. How can we feel something so strong… so suddenly?”

“Because we are two broken pieces, attracted by a hope that one day we will be whole,” he says. “I will do anything I need to do to keep you safe, even if you never want to see me again after.”

“Then why are you so hesitant?” I ask.

“Because, Maisy,” he says with a sigh. “I haven’t had sex in months, and now I have to publicly fuck you and try not to melt down.”

“Why would you melt down?” I ask.

“Because coming triggers memories,” he tells me. “I have to be in a certain place mentally, and I don’t know if I’ll manage okay. I can’t tell my family that, though.”

“You have a therapist, right? Bring it up when you see her tomorrow,” I say. “Also… what if we… don’t have to wait until we are being watched… Wow, I’m a whore.”

“You’re not a whore. Finish what you were saying.”

“I was just saying that maybe we can try to get comfortable with each other,” I say. “Harrison said he is leaving the country, so we have time before he gets back and tries to collect me.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know. I can see if my brother knows,” I say.

“Maisy…” he says with a sigh.

“Will you just be blunt with me?” I ask. “Ignore what you think might upset me, and just say it.”

“I feel guilty for wanting to fuck you,” he says. “You are stunning. Funny. Sweet. I want you so badly, but I have a habit of being rough. The only way I don’t get triggered is if I am rough and leading everything.”

“And you are afraid I’ll get triggered,” I say.

“Yes,” he says. “I’m terrified of you being in this house because when I have nightmares, sometimes I wake and I’m… unwell.”

“Raging hard on?” I ask, and he smirks. “You are afraid you’ll want to rage-fuck all of your trauma into me.”

“Yes,” he admits. “It would destroy me if I ever hurt anyone. Marrying me means marrying my trauma.”

I sigh and push my sweatpants down. “What are you doing?” Archer asks. I step out of my pants before moving to sit on the couch.

“Come here,” I say. He does, and I spread my thighs and grab his hand.

I don’t have panties on, so he is hesitant, but then he sees it.

I place his hand on my inner thighs, and he drops to his knees and traces the scars on my skin.

Each of these cuts was deep. I probably needed stitches, honestly.

He looks at the other thigh, and the scars mirror the other side.

I flip my arms over, where there are dozens of scars from the inside of my wrist all the way up to my elbow.

“Pain is the only thing that keeps me alive,” I admit. “If you rage-fucking me keeps me from cutting so deep that I have to have another blood transfusion, I consent… I don’t want to die; I just want to feel. Help me feel something, Archer. I’m not afraid of you.”