Page 53 of Good Girls Lie

The ground starts to slope upward, and the air gets better. I can see light now,light at the end of the tunnel, which strikes me as hysterical, and I start giggling again, softly. This is no longer scary, it is glorious and fun.

“Ready yourself,” Becca mutters, and the door swings open.

35

THE SWALLOW

Becca pushes me into a room full of confusion. I see half-dressed girls and girls in robes with hoods. What the hell?

“Took you long enough. Did little Alice not want to drink up her cuppa?” I turn my head blindly but a female voice screams, “Don’t you dare look at me!” She is definitely not Vanessa.

What is going on?

I look at my feet, dirty from the stroll through the tunnel. They pulse at me, friendly and kind. I like my feet. They have a good shape, high arched, toes long and elegant. But vulnerable, too. They get banged up so easily. I remember breaking my little toe last year, stumbling into a table. It hurt like hell. Took forever to heal. I couldn’t wear boots for months.

“Sorry, toe,” I whisper.

“Line up, you stupid twat. And stop talking to yourself like a madwoman.” The screamer pushes me into the row of girls. I lose my balance, knock the one standing next to me with an elbow, and the whole line topples like dominoes. Hushed laughter fills the room, and I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing, too. If there are other people here, I’m not going to die.

I want to look and see who else is lined up, but I’m wrenched back to my feet.

“Stay,” Becca says, and I plant myself. I am a tree. I have roots. That’s why my feet are covered in dirt, I need to root down.Root to the earth, daughter. Feel its energy flow through your body.

I can hear these ghostly words but they don’t make sense, not entirely.

“I think you gave them too much. None of them can keep their heads up.”

“I didn’t. They’re just sleepy. It took me forever to get the last Swallow to cooperate.”

“Are you sure, Becca?”

“Yes. Let’s get started. Swallows!”

I look up. I know my name. I am the vessel for the dead. I bring death and destruction in my wake. The souls of my people are inside of me.

“When I say ‘Swallows’, you say ‘yes, Mistress.’ Swallows!”

“Yes, Mistress,” comes the cry in unison.

“See?” Becca says to the screamer. “They’re fine. Listen to me, little darlings. You are about to embark on the most difficult week of your life. Not all of you will make it. And if you don’t make it, you will never amount to anything. You will be a laughingstock. You will be shunned. You will be cast out. Do you understand?”

Voices, stronger now, shout, “Yes, Mistress!”

“Yes,” I add, a beat too late.

“Look at your sisters. Look to your flock. You will carry each other when you are tired. You will work together. You will grow together. Who you were before no longer matters. Who your parents are no longer matters. We are your family now. Do you understand?”

She bellows, and we scream back at her, “Yes, Mistress!”

“Good. Strip.” The Swallows look around vaguely, then slowly, clothes start coming off. It’s hard to imagine things could be colder, but they are. Naked now, I am covered in gooseflesh. I cross an arm over my breasts. The other is meant to shield me, but I can’t get it into the shape of a fig leaf, so it dangles near my pelvis. Another giggle, this one from deep inside. Naked, in front of a group of strangers. This is the worst anxiety dream ever.

Becca says to the girl standing next to her, the one I’m having trouble focusing on—wait, it’s one of the twins—“Do you have it?”

“It’s in the bag.”

“Swallow!” Becca is screaming in my face now. She shoves me toward a trash bag sitting in the corner.We’re in a cabin, my feeble mind grasps at last.We’re out of the school. We’re naked in a cabin. What the hell?

“Pass it out. Down the line. Each Swallow needs a handful.”