Page 84 of Good Dirt

Reentry

E bby sits for a while in the car with Hannah.

“I’m really sorry we had to cancel our trip.”

“That’s all right,” Hannah says. “And anyway, you’re coming back, aren’t you?”

Ebby shrugs, but smiles.

“Good. You owe me. But I know I’m not the one you’re coming back for.”

They laugh. Standing at the back of the car, they unload Ebby’s luggage. Ebby hugs Hannah for a long time. Holding one of Hannah’s hands, Ebby promises to text her as soon as she lands.

“Just keep my mother at bay until I text you, okay?”

“Don’t worry, I can handle her.”

Ebby laughs. “That’s what you think.”

But two months away have made a difference. After two months, even with the Henry mess, Ebby has found that her mother doesn’t bother as much with the texting. After two months, Ebby is able to get away with fudging the truth. And after two months, Ebby can allow herself to take a few days for herself, even knowing that both her parents are distressed. The challenges they are facing right now aren’t new. The challenges they are facing go back nearly two decades. And they’re not likely to be gone soon.

Hi Mom, I’m all booked for next week, Ebby texts now. But I won’t be on the phone much this week, she writes. Coastal trip. Bad signal, she adds. Hannah’s at the cottage, if you need anything.

Two months away can make it easier to lie.

Ebby boards a flight to JFK in New York. She’s already booked a hotel near the airport. Tomorrow, she will rent a car and drive all the way up to the Pittses’ holiday home in Rhode Island. Ashleigh has given her the code to get in. It felt a bit awkward to call Ashleigh, but once she did, it was as if they’d never had a rough conversation. Sometimes, people let you down, but they’re still your people.

In a boutique at the airport hotel, Ebby buys a hat with a wide brim. She hopes to be incognito. She needs to sleep near the water. She needs to get out and walk on the sand. She needs to breathe in the odor of life and decay. But she wants to do all this alone.

Ebby needs a soft reentry.