Page 7 of Good at Being Bad (Rock Canyon, Idaho 8)

“Uncle Chase has a motorcycle, but mom won’t let me ride,” Pip said.

“Good.”

“You could get one,” Gracie said.

“Get one what?” he asked.

“A motorcycle.”

He stared at her. “A motorcycle?”

“Why not? You’d save on gas, and they are hot.”

And the sad thing was, he was tempted to take her advice. After the last year of strikeouts, Mike was at a loss. Why was it so hard to hook a woman and keep her for more than a few months? His best friend, Travis, said he sabotaged himself and didn’t even realize it, but he had no idea how.

“Yeah, and dangerous. I’d be dead in a week.”

“Oh, don’t be such a pansy! Talk to Chase and Gabe. Maybe they’d give you some lessons on how not to kill yourself.”

Chase Trepasso and Gabe Moriarty were cool, but he wasn’t going to ask them how to ride a motorcycle.

“Or, we could just forget all about your crazy scheme to make me cool and I’ll just finish my burger.”

“Oh, ye of little faith, mon frère. I have not yet begun to scheme,” Gracie said.

“First of all, not your brother—”

“I thought frère meant friend?” Gracie said.

“What? No, mon ami means my friend—”

“Are you sure?” She stole another fry off his plate, her expression doubtful.

Mike gritted his teeth in frustration. “Am I sure? Didn’t you take French in high school? Why don’t you know?”

“I took German, not French, and I switched out, remember?”

“Okay, we’re veering off topic, which is, I don’t need to pretend to be something else to get women.”

“Oh, come on, do you never watch romantic comedies?”

“Only when you and Gemma forced me.”

“Do you remember that movie The Boyfriend School? The guy does a total transformation, including a fake accent, and when he comes clean, he still gets the girl.”

“Life is not a chick flick, Gracie. Women don’t like being manipulated and lied to.”

Gracie, finished feeding Ian, put her son against her shoulder, and patted his back. “I’m not saying you have to go that far, but dirtying up your image might not be such a bad thing. You could start small with a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt, on the tighter side. You know, show off your man boobs a bit.”

“Dude, you are a wife and mother. I thought your days of objectifying men were over.”

“Haven’t you ever heard the phrase ‘married, not dead’?”

“I am going to tell your husband,” he said.

“Narc.”

Mike shook his head. “Just when I thought you were mellowing out.”