Page 18 of Going Rogue (Tactical Operations & Protection (TOP))

“Why are you apologizing?” Frustrated tears pricked at her eyes. How had she let this happen? Her thoughts circled each other in a frantic rhythm, running through all the ways she could’ve acted to avoid this outcome.

It’s my fault.

“I failed. I was supposed to get you home, but—”

His words snapped her out of the spiral of guilt she’d fallen into. “Don’t say it!” She couldn’t bear to hear him give up on her. “You still can!”

His eyes closed despite her desperate assurance. “I’m sorry.”

Fear choked her, and she gasped, “Don’t you fucking die on me, Crane. Don’t you do it!”

But his hand slid away from his side to lay limply on the floor beside him.

A strangled cry tore from her lips as she covered the wound with her own palms. Despite the pressure she placed over the spot, warm blood continued to seep through her fingertips.

She felt it but she didn’t see it. Tears dripped down her face and blurred her vision.

Don’t die. Don’t die. Don’t die.

The chant sounded over and over in her head while her body shook, her breaths coming as choked gasps of air. Everything seemed to shudder with violent tremors from her hands to her lungs as one thing became starkly apparent.

She’d fallen in love with him.

Crane’s love for her was like a beacon, guiding her out of the dark and into a world filled with that love and all its possibilities. It had always been there; she’d just been too stubborn to see it.

Rogue didn’t know when she’d fallen exactly or if people even knew that, but she did know this fact.

If he died, her heart would die with him.

Fear crept in and began to strangle any speck of hope. She’d never be the same now that she’d felt his love.

If she lost him, the crater it would carve into her heart could never be filled. As if in agreement, an unbearable pain pierced her chest, making her whimper.

She’d not only failed Crane, but she’d failed at protecting her heart.

It was his. And there was no way it would survive this kind of loss.

She had worried about being abandoned again.

That Crane would leave like her father had, but this kind of leaving would be far too permanent.

Overcome, a sob racked her. Rogue closed her eyes and begged for someone, anyone, to keep Crane alive.

Please. Please, help me. Please!

If he made it, she’d give him what he wanted—what she wanted, too.

A life together. No more distance. No walls.

She’d bare her soul for him, the same way he’d offered himself to her.

Because she would risk her heart breaking if it meant there was a chance she and Crane could get the happy ever after her parents hadn’t.

With him, she could have the family she’d missed out on growing up. Maybe his love could even heal the wound of her past.

Opening her eyes, she stared down at his face. Though slack, it carried the same sense of strength she’d always found attractive. “I love you, Crane.” Her voice broke on the admission, but she added, “Please don’t leave me.”

The powerful noise of multiple windows smashing simultaneously made Rogue’s gaze jerk to the ceiling.

What the hell?

She ducked her head and leaned forward over Crane as shattered glass fell from the sky. Shards clinked against each other as they bounced to the cement floor.

When the cacophony ended, she dared to lift her gaze. What she saw made her lightheaded with relief.

TOP.

Somehow, the team was here.

◆◆◆

Crane

Rogue’s head lay in the crook of Crane’s arm where they cuddled together in bed.

Her cinnamon and vanilla scent surrounded him, making him smile.

He’d rather be no place else, even if he wasn’t sure what he’d done to get her here.

Stroking his hand down her arm in a lazy caress, he mimicked the way her fingers combed through the curls on his bare chest.

Leaning in, he kissed the tip of her nose, and those rum-colored eyes he loved met his with a smile. “It’s time to wake up, big guy.”

Her comment sent a bolt of confusion coursing through him. “I am awake.”

“Wake up, Crane.” Her voice grew more insistent, making him frown.

A beeping noise erupted, and while he searched for its source, she faded away before his eyes. “NO!”

“Crane! Wake up!”

His eyes popped open to find the latticed tile ceiling of a sterile room.

Hospital?

“Crane!” The strain in Rogue’s voice pulled his gaze toward her. She stood by his bed, looking tired, her eyes sporting faint circles underneath.

Slower than usual, his brain registered his surroundings. The beeping came from the heart monitor next to him, but he didn’t care about that. What his thoughts grabbed ahold of—what he latched onto with desperate fingers of hope—was the fact Rogue held his hand.

When she squeezed it, he blinked and said, “Hi.”

A laugh burst from her lips, making him smile, but it cut off too quickly. “You come back from the dead, and that’s what you say? Hi?”

Dead?

But even as he wondered, recollections dive-bombed him. Almost faster than he could keep up with. The last thing he remembered was bleeding out in her arms. Crane winced at that memory. “What did I miss?”

She started to free his hand, but he held on. Her gaze fell to their entwined fingers, and he expected her to make some form of protest. Instead, a small smile creased the corner of her mouth. “A lot.”

He tapped the bed next to his left hip with his free hand. “Then sit and tell me.”

Worry pinched her face, creating a line between her brows. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Logically, Crane knew he’d been shot, but whatever they were pumping into him through the IV in his arm made him feel pretty damn good. “You won’t. Sit.”

He didn’t release her hand, so her climb onto the bed was the opposite of graceful. After a couple of tries, in which he wisely swallowed his chuckle, she managed it. When she settled, she glared at him as if to say, “You made that harder than it needed to be,” before she started to tell the story.

“After you . . .” Her eyes flooded, making his chest constrict in sympathy, and he squeezed her hand.

She swallowed, then said, “Passed out. The team showed up. They helped get you airlifted here to Germany. We’re at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center on Spangdahlem Air Base.”

The relief he hadn’t put her through worse than that loosened the tie around his lungs.

He figured he’d landed in pretty good hands if he was in a U.S.

Air Force hospital. It was funny; despite his time with the Marines, he’d never made it to Europe.

He’d always wanted to go. See the Rhine, pay his respects at the Berlin Wall memorial, eat a hamburger in Hamburg.

But there’d be time to play tourist later.

“I’m guessing they took care of Jordy?” He tried not to growl the fucker’s name, but he’d thought of the man as a brother. The betrayal dug a chasm in his soul.

Rogue nodded. “Duke and Romeo stayed behind to clean up while Herc delivered the traitor.”

Which left Bo and their leader, Victor. Rogue must’ve read the question in his eyes because she said, “Victor’s on damage control, and Bo is . . .” Her shoulders gave a slight shrug. “Bo.”

The former Navy SEAL was as taciturn as they came. No one knew where he went when they weren’t on an op. He had a habit of disappearing.

Crane had been pissed at all of them for leaving Rogue to fend for herself. But now he wondered if he’d misjudged them. “How’d they know where we were?”

“Dafi.” She scowled. “I guess I shouldn’t complain since what he did saved your life, but you really should keep better company, Crane.” She shook her head. “The man sold Jordan out to Victor for more money.”

Her indignation made him grin. He’d known Dafi was only as good as the highest bidder. “Smart man.”

Her eyes fired like she wished she could smack him, and he chuckled. It was still fun to rile up his squirrel. “What else?”

“Jordy’s aim sucked, or you’re ridiculously lucky. Either way, the bullet made a clean exit. I’m sure the doctor will explain all the technical stuff to you, but surgery went well. You’ll make a full recovery.”

He didn’t miss her gulp on the last word. Had she worried about him? Sat by his bedside? Which made him wonder . . . “How long was I out?”

“Three days.”

The number proved longer than he’d expected. He palmed Rogue’s cheek and asked softly, “Have you slept?”

“Some.” He started to drop his hand, but she gripped his wrist as if she didn’t want to let go. “Crane . . .” Her eyes misted, but she blinked them clear.

“What is it, squirrel?”

She chewed her lip and dropped her gaze to their joined hands. “Do you remember what you said to me? Before we went in the warehouse?”

Abso-fucking-lutely. Did her bringing it up mean . . .? Hope danced in his stomach, but his answer remained clipped with caution. He didn’t think the pain meds could do anything against emotional pain. “Yes.”

She met his gaze again; hers swam, heavy with emotion. “You already have it.” She took a deep breath. “My heart, I mean. I love you, too, Miles.”

Crane didn’t know if this was real. Maybe he dreamt again. Or hallucinated, his brain conjuring some morphine-induced fantasy. Because it felt surreal, he asked, “You love me?”

“Yes. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to.” He caught the exasperation in her tone. “But you made me fall for you anyway. When I almost lost you—”

Her words cut off as a sob hiccupped out of her. Unable to not touch her, he pulled her close. “Baby, don’t cry.” He kissed her forehead and crooned, “I’m so sorry, Rogue. I’d never leave you willingly. I promise you that.”

He stroked her hair while she clung to the hospital gown over his chest. When he didn’t feel any dampness from tears, he let out a small sigh of relief.

Rogue had finally opened her heart to him.

She was his. Now and always.

A sense of euphoria flitted through his body, heightened by the opioids already in his system. He wanted to celebrate her love, not dwell on what might’ve happened. A wild idea struck him, and he tipped her chin to look into her beautiful face.

Her eyes were dry, but he wanted to see them smile. “Marry me?”

She pushed herself upright with a snort. “I don’t know if it’s you or the pain meds talking.”

Crane grinned at her sauciness. “It’s me. Look, we’re already in Europe. We can use the hospital chapel, then hit the sights as a honeymoon.”

Her eyes widened. “I think you’re serious.”

“As a gunshot wound.”

This time, she did smack him on the shoulder before her face fell, looking instantly apologetic. “Shit, I’m sorry. Did that hurt?”

“No. I’m still waiting on an answer, Rogue.” He cocked an eyebrow and would’ve crossed his arms over his chest if not for the IV.

She chewed at her lip again, and he couldn’t help but want a taste. But first, he needed her response. Maybe it was the medication, but he didn’t worry she’d say no. They’d been through too much together; he knew her inside and out. Even the parts she liked to put barricades around.

A slow smile started at her mouth and traveled up her cheeks to her eyes. The deep, smoky brown became luminous, and he knew what she would say before the word left her lips. “Yes.”

Despite the hole in his side, he didn’t think he’d ever felt so alive. Warmth buzzed through him like a livewire, and he cupped her neck, pulling her in for a kiss that was too many days overdue.

She softened under his touch, and he reveled in how responsive she always was to him. It made his blood heat faster than a lit match. Rogue was all his and he couldn’t have asked for a better partner.

Ready to lie back and pull her on top of him, she must’ve sensed his move because she broke the kiss. “Not a chance, big guy. You’re on limited duty until the doc says otherwise.”

Her marked stare at his junk was unnecessary. He got her point. Still, a sly grin threatened to make his lips twitch. The tent in the blanket covering his lap said he felt more than ready for full duty.

He cleared his throat. “Well, I think we’re both due some time off.”

Rogue nodded. “Especially since we technically saved the mission.”

Her comment made him smile, but it was rueful. “Let’s hope Victor sees it that way.”

This time, Rogue’s face held the sly grin. “He does. We had a good long talk, and things are going to be different. Even if TOP headquarters disagrees, I know he has our backs.”

The gleam in her eye told Crane there was more to the story, but he doubted she’d divulge it. At least, not without a lot of convincing. He had a few ideas on how he might do that, and his blood shot south thinking about it .

Rogue’s voice broke into his fantasy. “Dafi expedited the process, but they were coming back.”

At her statement, the lingering distaste over his team’s abandonment disappeared. Knowing he could trust them again settled something in his being.

Rogue had given him that. And it was another reason he loved this woman. She could hold her own and wasn’t afraid to speak up if she sensed an injustice.

He lifted her left hand to his lips and kissed the spot where a ring would go.

First order of business.

He met her gaze with a beaming smile, full of the love he couldn’t contain. “I owe you a ring.”

“I don’t need one.” Her gaze, though soft, was filled with so many promises. She loved him. It shone in her eyes with a light that suffused him in a warmth more potent than any drug. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to it.

“Come here.” He pulled her into his uninjured side, and she rested her head between his collar and jaw .

Despite all the shit they’d been through in the last few days, he’d do it all again if it meant he’d get to have her . Because Rogue was worth dying for, but even more, she was worth living for.

As he held her close, his whole body relaxed.

A deluge of contentment filtered through his veins.

He couldn’t wait to start their life together.

With Rogue at his side, it was guaranteed to be filled with laughter, frustration, and—a chuckle rumbled in his chest—the best part? Amazingly hot sex . . .