Page 33 of Going Deep (Odyssey #3)

She didn’t, but she wanted something. It felt weird to be naked at the moment.

He’d taken to keeping a pair of lounge pants and a sweatshirt in his toy bag for her, for post-scene comfort, so she got those and pulled them on, then snagged two bottles of water out of the mini fridge and took them back to the sofa with her.

He smiled when she handed him one. “ Taking care of me?”

She shrugged. “ You’ve done it for me plenty of times.”

“Thanks.” He twisted the cap off, took a drink. “ I’m sorry about this.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she said, fighting impatience, reaching for calm. “ Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m not in the right headspace to do a scene tonight.”

She stared at him. “ That’s it?”

He lifted his hands, dropped them. “ That’s it.”

“Okay.” Buying time, she opened her water and took a sip. She didn’t think that was it, not by a long shot, but he had that look in his eyes, the one that said the information booth was closed, try again some other time. “ And you just now realized that?”

Something flickered in his eyes, something she thought might have been guilt, but it was gone too fast for her to be sure. “ Pretty much.”

She nodded slowly, not believing it for a second. “ Okay , well. I don’t really know what to say, except I’m glad you called it.”

Surprise sparked in his expression. “ You are?”

“Doms are allowed to safeword too, right?”

“That we are,” he agreed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she ventured.

He nodded slowly. “ I think we should.”

“Okay.” She folded her hands around her water bottle and waited.

“I think it’s best we stop seeing each other.”

She blinked in shock. Whatever she’d expected to hear, it wasn’t that. “ What ?”

“It’s been fun, helping you explore BDSM . And I can’t deny that we have a connection.” He paused, like he was waiting for her to say something, but shock had frozen her voice, and after a moment he went on. “ But I can’t see making this work long term, so I think it’s best to end it now.”

She found her voice. “ You stopped the scene so you could dump me?”

“There are things I need in a partner that I don’t think you’re capable of giving, so?—”

“Hold on.” She closed her eyes, ordered herself to breathe. The shock was going to wear off soon, and the pain was going to start, and right at this moment her entire goal was to get out of this room before that happened. But first things first.

She opened her eyes. “ What are they?”

“I’m sorry?”

“What are the things you need in a partner than I’m not capable of?”

Pity flickered in his eyes, and she could’ve killed him for that alone. “ Don’t do this to yourself, Ginger .”

“I want to know,” she insisted.

“All right.” He folded his hands over his knee. “ Honesty , for one.”

The sheer gall of it held her mute for a full five seconds. “ You’re dumping me because you don’t think I’ve been honest with you?”

“I know you haven’t.”

The job, she thought. Miriam told him she hadn’t taken the job. Told him she’d been offered another, and had accepted. “ How do you know?”

“I’m sorry?”

“How do you know I haven’t been honest with you, Michael ?” she asked, her anger warming up now that shock had faded. That was fine, she decided. Anger was good. It would keep the pain at bay.

His eyes flickered, and that was definitely guilt. “ I can sense it.”

This asshole. It wasn’t just anger bubbling inside her now, but rage, hot and violent. “ Oh , really? You can sense it? You’re a mind reader, now?”

“No.” His eyes flickered again, but his gaze never wavered. “ But I can tell you’re holding something back.”

“Because you’re a Dom ?” she sneered.

“That’s part of it,” he allowed calmly. So serene and untroubled while she seethed.

“And would the other part be that Miriam Glass at the Killingsworth Chicago Family Center called you?”

That shut him up, she saw with satisfaction. “ You fucking hypocrite.”

She surged to her feet, scooping her dress, her shoes off the floor. “ You can sit there and call me a liar? That’s fucking rich.”

“I’ve never lied to you,” he objected, and for the first time since they sat down there was a hint of emotion in his voice.

She turned, wanting to look him in the eye when she told him off. “ You didn’t tell me you own the Center .”

He had the grace to look uncomfortable. “ I don’t. The family foundation does.”

“ Your family foundation.”

A slight hesitation, then a nod. “ Yes .”

“You told me you’d send my resume to Sean , and he’d pass it along.”

“Yes.”

“You had Miriam call me in for an interview.”

There was resignation in his eyes now. “ Yes .”

“How is that not lying?”

“How did you know?” he countered.

She thought about not telling him—he didn’t deserve it, goddammit—but figured since they were going scorched earth, there was no point in holding back. “ Lola told me.”

Surprise flashed across his face. “ Lola ?”

“She did a background check on you before she joined Odyssey .”

After a blink of shock, he huffed out a laugh, rueful and resigned. “ Of course she did.”

She turned away, and was two steps from the door when he spoke again.

“Why didn’t you take the job?”

She glanced over her shoulder. He hadn’t moved, hadn’t even turned his head to look at her. “ I’m not qualified for it. Not even close. Did you tell her to offer it to me?”

He didn’t answer, just closed his eyes.

And she walked out the door.

* * *

Lola passed Ginger a t-shirt. “ When are you coming back?”

Ginger took the shirt, folded it, and laid it in the open suitcase on the bed. “ In about a week, I guess.”

Anna poked her head out of the closet with a frown. “ It’ll take that long?”

“Not to pack up all my stuff.” Ginger grabbed a pair of socks and tucked them in next to the suitcase. “ I don’t have that much. But I’ll need the full week to convince my mom that I’m not making a huge mistake that will ruin my life.”

“Ah.” Anna nodded. “ Gotcha . Which shoes do you want to take?”

“Um, my sneakers and the OluKai sandals,” Ginger decided. “ I shouldn’t need anything else.”

Anna carried the shoes out of the closet. “ Here you go. So , have you heard from him?”

Ginger took the sandals from Anna and tucked them in the webbed shoe compartment of the small rollaway. “ Not a peep. Well , that’s not true,” she amended. “ I did get a delivery.”

Anna’s eyes lit. “ Flowers ?”

“A box of stuff I’d left at his apartment.”

Lola winced. “ Ouch .”

“That’s a dick move,” Anna agreed. “ He must really be hurting.”

Ginger aimed an incredulous look at her friend. “ He dumped me , Anna .”

“So? Lola dumped Simon , but she was heartbroken.”

“This is true,” Lola agreed. “ But I don’t think this is the same thing.”

“Not at all the same thing,” Ginger agreed and slapped her sneakers into the suitcase. “ I want a damn drink.”

Abandoning the half-packed case, she left the bedroom and was in the kitchen, fighting with the corkscrew and a bottle of red when Anna and Lola joined her.

“I’ll get the glasses,” Lola offered.

“Make it three,” Anna said. “ Want some help with that?”

“I’ve got it,” Ginger said, and pulled the cork free with a grunt. She poured the wine into the glasses Lola held, then set the bottle aside.

“What are we drinking to?” Anna asked.

“Good friends?” Lola suggested.

“I’ll go with that,” Ginger decided and drank.

“So,” Lola said when she lowered her glass. “ On a scale of one to ten, how pissed are you?”

Ginger just looked at her.

“Okay, a forty-seven,” Lola said, and Anna laughed. “ Now , on a scale of one to ten, how heartbroken are you?”

Ginger sighed. “ Probably a forty-seven. But I’m still in pissed-off mode, so it’s hard to tell.”

Lola nodded. “ I think that’s about right. Anna ?”

“I was going to say forty-eight, but I’ll go with forty-seven.” She reached over to rub a hand on Ginger’s arm. “ Have you cried yet?”

Ginger shook her head. “ Mad tears. Not that-rat-bastard-broke-my-heart tears.”

“Not even when you got the box of stuff?”

“It wasn’t much, just a toothbrush and some hair stuff, lotion. Oh , and a pair of panties that I wore to his place once that he ‘confiscated’. I almost cried about that,” she recalled. “ But then I got mad again.”

“What’d you do with the stuff he left here?” Lola wanted to know.

“He didn’t leave anything here.” Ginger took a slug of wine, then walked over to plop onto the couch. “ That should’ve been my first clue.”

Lola sat next to her. “ Didn’t you mostly spend time at his place?”

Ginger just shrugged. She wasn’t in the mood to be logical.

Anna perched on the coffee table in front of the couch. “ Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why are you so angry?”

Ginger stared. “ Are you kidding?”

“No, I mean, I know why you’re angry,” Anna hurried to say. “ I just meant…”

“Which part are you most angry about?” Lola put in.

Anna nodded. “ That .”

“The hypocrisy,” Ginger said immediately, her face heating as rage surged. “ That he had the nerve, the goddamn gall , to tell me he couldn’t be with me because I’m not honest, when the whole fucking time ? —”

“Okay, take a breath,” Lola urged, laying a calming hand on Ginger’s knee. “ Your face looks like a tomato.”

Ginger obeyed, sucking in air and blowing it out like she was in active labor, not stopping until she felt the heat recede from her face. “ Sorry .”

“It’s okay.” Lola patted her knee. “ I’d be pissed, too.”

“So would I ,” Anna said, looking thoughtful.

“What?” Ginger asked.

“I don’t want to ask,” Anna admitted. “ Tomato Face Ginger was kind of scary.”

Ginger worked up a smile. “ You can ask. Tomato Face has left the building.”

“Okay, well, I was just wondering if you were mad that he called the scene.”

“No. I mean, it surprised me, and it kind of scared me, because he was really acting strange.” Ginger frowned, remembering. “ But if he needed to stop, then he needed to stop. Doms are allowed to safeword too, right?”

Lola nodded. “ Absolutely .”