Page 49 of Gods and Graves

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

THEA

“ A res has to have been the one behind all of this,” Krystian insists as we sit around the dining room table hours later.

Everett has prepared a feast of filet mignon, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a chocolate lava cake for dessert.

It looks delicious, but…

But I can’t even think about eating.

“Ares didn’t attack us as if he had the power of millions of souls at his beck and call,” Zaid points out, moving the contents of his plate around without eating a single bite.

“This has to be over.” Krystian turns desperate eyes onto me. “Please let this be over.”

Everett, who has remained silent up until now, stands abruptly.

“All right, everyone but Thea out,” he barks.

The guys blink at him.

“Ex-fucking-cuse me?” Krystian asks.

“I want you three to do a perimeter check,” Everett instructs. “Until we know for certain this is over, we need to be on our guard twenty-four seven.”

Zaid, Rafe, and Krystian all exchange an indecipherable look before they nod and stand. One by one, they stop where I sit, kissing whatever part of me they can reach—my head, temple, and cheek.

“We’ll be back soon,” Zaid says, grabbing his coat off the hanger.

The other two nod and follow him outside.

Leaving me alone with a hulking, surly beast.

I push food around with my fork, heaving out a breath. “I know you sent them away so you can get me alone.”

“We need to talk.” Everett folds his arms over his chest and jerks his chin towards the living room. “Let’s move somewhere more comfortable. We both know you’re not eating that.”

I agree easily and shuffle towards the living room, my feet dragging. I feel…different. I have memories of my past now, but I’m not sure I even want them. They paint a picture that’s nothing but jagged lines and bloody strokes.

God, why couldn’t my past have been beautiful and loving? Why does it need to be a double-edged sword that stabs and slices?

I move onto the couch and place my legs underneath me. Everett sits opposite me, his expression for once unguarded but no less intense.

“What do you need from us, Thea?” He leans forward, as if to take my hands in his, but pulls back before he can make contact.

But fuck that. I want him to touch me. I want them all to. The last thing I need is for them to treat me like I’m made of glass. At one point, they saw me as their equal, a warrior just like them.

I capture his hands in mine, holding tight.

“I…I don’t know,” I confess, exhaling raggedly.

“Do you want to talk about what you saw in the vision? Talk to a therapist? Do you want us to slow down with you, give you space?”

“No!” I say quickly. Then, working to lower my voice, I repeat, “No, I don’t want space.”

Everett swallows. “I don’t have memories of you before we met a few days ago. None of us do, but I wish I did. I wish you didn’t have to carry this burden alone.”

My heart swells then meets resistance against the barbed wire surrounding it. “I don’t want you four to remember everything. It’s not… It doesn’t have a happy ending.”

“But we must’ve had good times as well, right?” A surprisingly vulnerable expression crosses his face.

My lips twitch. “We did.”

“Tell me about the good times. If you want.”

So I do.

Everett chuckles when he realizes even his younger self was an ass to me, then he glows with pride when I describe how I bested him in the training ring. I don’t mention Ares once as I describe the very few memories I have of us all together.

Somehow, I find myself leaning against him on the couch, my back flush to his chest and his arms coiled around mine.

“You know, when we first met, I never would’ve thought we’d end up here,” I say, tilting my head back to smile up at him. “Who knew you were just a big teddy bear underneath that gruff exterior?”

Everett playfully snaps his teeth in my face. “Take that back.”

“Make me,” I say, grinning.

The smile slowly slips from his face, replaced by something softer. Warmer.

“Thea…” He caresses my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “You said that you never would’ve believed we’d end up here, but I knew we would.”

I lift my brows. “You hated me.”

“I told you I didn’t. I never have.” He swallows, a look of indecision crossing his face before he blurts out, “I love you.”

My heart begins to pound even faster. “I…I love you too.”

And I do. I love them all, even if I haven’t admitted it to anyone other than Zaid. They have somehow permanently imprinted themselves on my soul. It’ll be impossible to untangle myself from them.

I don’t believe in fate or soulmates or anything as ridiculous as that, but if I did, they'd be mine. We found each other in my first life, then again in my next. And I have no doubt we’ll be drawn to each other in death too.

“Thea…” Everett’s gaze flicks to my lips, his eyes heating. Turning molten. But then he grits his teeth together and turns away. “Fuck, I’m sorry, baby.”

“No,” I say quickly, guiding his face back to mine. “Don’t be sorry. I… I want you, Everett.”

He closes his eyes and grimaces, as if in immense pain.

“I want you too, baby, but I don’t want our first time to be because you’ve just been traumatized by god-awful memories.” His fingers flex on my cheek sporadically.

“I promise you, Everett. That’s not why I want to do this.

” I allow my gaze to trail over his ruggedly handsome face, noting the scruff on his jawline that has begun to grow out, resembling a beard.

“Was what happened to me—to us—awful? Of course. I’ll probably have nightmares for years to come.

But that doesn’t change the fact that I love you, that I’m in love with you.

And right now, I want nothing more than to know that you’re here with me and that I’m free. ”

I crane my neck to plant a chaste, gentle kiss on his jawline, which ripples with tension. “Please, Everett. I need this. I need you.”

He trembles, his arms around me flexing, but his restraint is crumbling. He wants me just as badly.

His hands slide up my waist, pulling me closer. His unique, woodsy scent surrounds me, and I breathe him in, wondering what he would taste like on my lips. I want to kiss him. I’m desperate to.

I twist my neck, and our mouths meet, his lips parting.

I shift on the couch so I’m now straddling him, our tongues tangling in a desperate, sultry dance, his hands roaming my body.

I expected him to be domineering in the bedroom like Rafe, but he’s…gentle. Passionate. I don’t know if he’s always like this or if this is a side of him reserved solely for me, but I appreciate it more than I care to admit.

I want to feel loved and cherished. I need to know that he’s here, that he loves me, that he’ll protect me.

His hands trail down my back and cup my ass, squeezing.

“Everett…” I moan, kissing him again.

“Take those clothes off, baby. Let me see you.”

It takes less than a second for me to stand and rid myself of my clothes and undergarments, tossing them aside. He quickly chucks off his own T-shirt and jeans, but before I can admire him, he grabs my arm and hauls me back onto his lap.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, cupping my aching breasts and tweaking my hyper-sensitive nipples.

Heat rushes to my core instantly, and I moan, rocking slightly.

His tongue traces the seam of my lips in a slow, sensual pathway before trailing down my neck.

I arch for him, granting him better access, and he uses the opportunity to bite and suck on my skin.

A part of me wants him to do it even harder—to leave a mark behind.

I want the world to know that I belong to him and he belongs to me.

He arches his hips slightly, and that’s when I feel it—the prominent bulge resting thick and hard against my most sensitive area.

He’s big. Bigger than any of the others, and that’s saying something. Of course, I should’ve expected him to be big, considering his size, but to have the evidence quite literally brushing against me?—

Everett must’ve felt me freeze, because he tenses up, his hazel eyes locking on my own.

“Are you okay? Is it a flashback?” He places his hands on my hips, as if he means to lift me off of him, but I clutch at his shoulders desperately.

“No, it’s not that.” I kiss his cheek, his bottom lip, his upper one. “It’s just…”

“It’s just?”

“You’re…huge.” I gesture towards his erection, wondering if he’s oblivious to the lethal weapon between his legs or choosing to ignore it.

His eyes widen in surprise…and then a shit-eating grin spreads across his face.

“Huge?”

“Fucking massive,” I agree with a nod.

He chuckles and resumes kissing and nipping at my neck.

“Fuck, do you have any idea what you do to me? Hearing you talk about my dick like that makes me hard as steel. God, I want nothing more than to worship you like the goddess you are. I want to lap at your sweet, perfect pussy until my name is the only one you remember. I want your wetness coating my tongue and lips for the rest of my life. Do you know I can smell when you’re aroused?

It’s the best fucking smell in the world. ”

He inhales deeply, and my pussy gushes, heat rushing through my veins.

“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life.” One of his hands slips between my legs, his large fingers curling in my wet folds.

I gasp and rock my hips, helping him find a rhythm.

“Yes. Just like that, baby. Just like that. Ride my hand.” A sexy grin stretches his lips as he focuses on where he touches me, his fingers swallowed by my clenching pussy.

One of his fingers circles my core while the other teases my clit.

“Everett,” I moan, leaning forward to kiss him once more and trapping his hand between our bodies.

He chuckles against my lips. “Yes, baby?”

“More,” I breathe huskily, desperately jerking my hips forward to meet each thrust of his fingers.

“More?” His fingers slide deeper inside of me, curling up as they move back and forth. My eyelids flutter as sensations overwhelm me. “How about another finger?”