Page 17

SEVENTEEN

Wren

It’s not long after our midday lunch stop (more yummy marionberries and leftover salmon) that we pause on a pretty little rolling hill to check the map.

“I told you that was a waterfall,” says Ruby as they point at the torrent of water below us.

“If you’re right about that, then you’re also right about the earth symbol being in a cave.” I look from the map to the waterfall and suppress a shiver of dread. The stream we’ve followed since day one curves around the hill we’re standing on and continues to the waterfall area where it pours into a beautiful lagoon. From there the stream makes a turn to the right, wrapping around the big cliff from which the waterfall cascades. “It reminds me a little of Multnomah Falls. It’s not as tall and there’s only one waterfall, but it’s definitely steep.”

“And not very accessible,” says Ruby. “It’s too steep to climb on that side.” They point to the left of the falls.

I nod. “Yeah, and to the right the only way around it is literally to swim the stream. The bank’s too steep.”

“So we go down there, swim across the lagoon to the waterfall and believe there’s a cave behind it, which is where the tree symbolizing earth is drawn on the map.” Ruby frowns. “That means if the cave has only one entrance we’ll be trapped in there.”

Yes. That is what it means. Viento hovers above, also staring at the obstacle in front of us.

I decide to keep his confirmation to myself and instead point to the left of the lagoon. “I don’t think we’ll have to swim into the cave.” I hold up the map. “The red line goes around it there and then disappears into the waterfall.”

There is a small path along that side of the pool , Viento tells me, and I repeat to Ruby and Lily.

“Well, at least it’s pretty,” adds Lily, but she’s chewing her lip, which means she isn’t as calm as she sounds.

“And it is the last test,” says Ruby.

“Earth,” I speak softly, thinking of the earth sign who should be with us—Sam. I clamp down quickly on my thoughts. I can’t afford to be distracted by grief. I have to keep moving forward.

“And we don’t have an earth sign with us,” mutters Ruby. “Great…”

“Oh, don’t be so negative.” Lily hooks her arm through Ruby’s. “Sam’s our earth sign and I like to think she’s with us in spirit. Right, Wren?”

I nod uncomfortably and put the map back into my pocket. Moving with more confidence than I feel, I lead Ruby and Lily. The trail has been an easy one today, and this part is no exception. The land is dotted with tall pines and leafy oaks and maples, with lots of ferns everywhere. Nothing’s been too steep or too scary, but I can’t shake the itchy feeling between my shoulders—like someone’s watching us.

It doesn’t take long to hike down to the lagoon. It really is beautiful. White trilliums and delicate maidenhair ferns carpet the area around the water, glowing in this Pandora-like Realm of Elementals. Moss-covered rocks frame the large pool that disappears into a cascading waterfall. It’s loud, so when I spot the trail around the edge of the pool I motion to the three of them to follow me. I slow down because even though the trail is smooth, like it’s been carved from the wall of rock that supports the waterfall, it’s slick.

I’m intimidated by the veil of water and hesitate when I reach it. Without a word, Ruby slips past me, winks, and jerks her head in a follow me movement and strides confidently into the liquid veil.

I reach back and Lily takes my hand. Together we walk into the falling water—and enter a cave so unbelievably beautiful that all the three of us can do at first is stare.

Part of the lagoon is within the wide mouth of the cave, and the path we’re on continues around the water, leading us to the main part of the cave. It’s amazing! Clear quartz crystals suspend, stalactite-like, from the rounded ceiling far, far above. They’re aglow, lighting the large space filled with enormous ferns and other massive tropical plants that remind me of Jurassic Park. There’s a tree in the center of the space. It’s big and its leaves are lush and so lime green they shine in the pure crystal light.

Silently, we head toward it, making our way through the huge plants. I let my fingers brush the giant fern fronds and majestic flowers—none of which I’ve ever seen before. The petals feel velvety and they give off an amazingly sweet scent.

Lily stops to sniff a bright yellow blossom. “This is incredible! It smells a little like my favorite flower, gardenias.”

Beside her, Ruby stops to test the air with a big inhale. “But mixed with jasmine, which is my favorite flower.”

I’m ahead of them and I stop to breathe in the scent of a purple flower the size of my head. “This one smells like my mom’s favorite rose,” I say softly as the scent washes over me. For a moment I’m transported to Mom’s rose garden. I can see her smile as she prunes her lavender-colored roses. I could stand there forever, lost in the sweet perfume of beautiful memories.

Forever…

Wait. No. I can’t stand here forever. We’re on a quest! I look back at Lily and Ruby, who haven’t moved. They’re smiling happily as they take more deep breaths. It’s then I see it. Mist, the same color as each flower, wafts from the center of the blooms and wraps around Ruby and Lily, encircling them completely.

My mind screams, but my body feels so, so heavy. And content. My body would really like to stay here. To take a nap among the flowers. My mind isn’t so easily fooled. I need Viento. This is his realm. He’ll know what’s going on. Slowly, like I’m moving through mud, I look up, turning in a circle as I search the well-lit cave for my friend. I open my mouth to call out to him, but words won’t come. And it doesn’t matter. Viento is gone.

Fear spikes through me. It’s the earth test. Again, I try to speak, to warn Ruby and Lily. Where are they? Have they left me, too? I peer into the misty area where they’d been standing and finally see them. They’re lying together, wrapped in each other’s arms at the base of the flowers they’d been smelling, blanketed by the beautiful mist. But they’re hard to see, and I suddenly understand why. I’m standing in the middle of my own blanket of beautiful, fragrant lavender-colored mist.

My knees fold slowly.

I sink down on the soft, mossy ground.

Darkness closes over me.

“I want adventure in the great, wide somewhere.…”

I blink my eyes open as I’m assaulted by an extremely tone-deaf rendition of Belle’s reprise from Beauty and the Beast . I’m utterly confused and have no clue where I am. And then I sit up and know exactly, impossibly, where I am.

I’m in Sam’s bedroom. It looks like it did the last time I was there, when she and I were thirteen. Three of the four walls have flower-patterned wallpaper. The fourth wall is solid pink, the same color as her vanity and the canopy on her bed. There’s a comfy reading nook built into her window with a flowered cushion and pastel pillows. On the pink wall pictures are tacked up lots of pictures of us—and in the center of all the pictures are two posters, which summarize Sam’s personality. One is the periodic table of elements and the other is a big Taylor Swift poster. Strung around the window, the bed, the picture wall, and the vanity are twinkling fairy lights.

“… I want so much more than they’ve got planned.”

She steps out of the closet like a Broadway stage curtain has just parted for her—which is ridiculous because she cannot sing, though not for lack of trying.

“Sam!” Her name bursts from me and I launch myself off her bed and into her arms. She’s warm and solid and really here . I hold on to her, hugging her so tightly that she squeaks, which is the only reason I let her go.

“Whew, you almost squished the pee out of me.” She grins. “Hey there, Wreny. I’ve missed you.”

“Sam, you’re dead!” I blurt, and then I burst into tears. Big, sobbing, snotty tears.

“It’s okay. Come on. Sit down and breathe. It’s all okay.” Sam speaks gently to me as she puts an arm around my shoulder and leads me back to her bed, where I sit while she grabs a box of tissues off her pink vanity.

I wipe my eyes and blow my nose. “Thanks,” I say automatically, and then my eyes meet hers and I break down again. I’m sobbing so hard that my body shakes.

Sam sits beside me, holding the tissue box out for me while she rubs my back in comforting little circles and continues to tell me everything’s okay.

“N-no! It’s n-not okay. Y-you’re dead!” I say between sobby hiccups when I can finally speak again.

She sighs and nods. “Yeah. That’s too bad. I mean, it’s great where I am—oh, your parents say hi—but it’s a shame I didn’t get to do more this time around.”

“Wait. My parents are here?” I stare at her closet. “Are they in there, too?”

Sam laughs. “In my closet? Um, no. And I can’t tell you where they really are, or where I really am. It’s not for the living to know ,” she says in an ooie-ooie pretend echoey voice, and then continues normally, “Blah, blah, the secrets of the universe and such, which I have to keep, well, secret .” She dimples. “But I can say hi to you for your mom and dad, and also tell you there’s nothing to fear about the other side. Death is only difficult for the living.” Her smile fades. “I know mine has been tough for you to accept.”

If I speak I know I’m going to sob again, so I just nod and wipe my nose.

“You’re doing that thing, Wreny,” she says.

I clear my throat. “Thing? What thing?”

“You can’t compartmentalize grief. Well, you can , but not successfully. It’s not good for you.”

My voice is barely a whisper and Sam has to lean into me to hear. “But if I take it out of its box I’ll do what I just did. Sob and snot and sob and be utterly useless.”

“No, Wreny. You won’t. Okay, you will for a while. But eventually, with help, you’ll work through it. You have to feel the grief to recover from it.” She bumps my shoulder with hers. “And you can’t put hurt in a box and not deal with it, either. You can’t move forward with Lee if you don’t face it.”

“Ghosts can read minds?”

Sam lifts her arms overhead, making claws of her fingers like she’s a big, scary ghoul. “We have allll the powers! OoOoOoOoh! ”

“Seriously?”

“Well, yes and no. Mostly I know this because I was your best friend and I know you.”

My stomach clenches. “You’re still my best friend.”

Her smile is as sweet as it is sad. “No, Wreny. You can’t be friends with a dead person. But Lily is awesome. Ruby is amazing. And Lee. Lee has actually been your best friend for five years.”

“I think I’ve lost him, Sam. He doesn’t believe me about the crap going on at the Academia. You died, so you probably don’t know, but Celeste actually stabbed herself to make it look like I’ve lost my mind. I had to get off campus with Lily and Ruby and Viento—that’s my Air Elemental’s name.” Sam nods like she understands, so I keep going. “Even after everything that happened, I think he’s on Celeste’s side.”

“Wren, I can’t see into the future, but what I do know for sure is as long as you don’t face your grief and pain and hurt you won’t make decisions that are best for you. You have to heal yourself before you share your life with someone else, anyone else. Does that make sense?”

I sniffle and nod reluctantly. “Yeah, but I don’t like it.”

“Adulting is hard.”

I blow out a long breath and then say, “That’s what this is?”

“Yep. Trust me. You know how super smart I am.”

“You are absolutely brilliant,” I agree.

“Then listen to what I’m telling you. The answers you need are inside you already. You just have to be honest, stop compartmentalizing the hard stuff, and this is really important—trust yourself.” Sam starts to brush a strand of tear-damp hair from my face and pauses to lift it up. “I gotta say, this color change is weird. I’m glad you kept the pink tips, but your uncle Joel is going to have an apoplectic fit when he sees you. How many times has he told you not to do anything to your hair when you’re emotional?”

“I didn’t dye it. It happened when I confronted Celeste and became the maiden. You should see her hair. When she didn’t kill me in the Conduit Chamber—”

“Oh, good! You found it!”

I nod. “Yeah, and she tried to kill me, but I got away. And now she’s the mother, with the white hair to prove it, and I’m the maiden.”

Sam studies me.” You look older, too.”

“I feel older.”

“You’re going to complete the ritual and make everything right,” Sam says firmly.

“You can see that?”

She grins and bumps my shoulder again. “No. But I’m smart and I know you can do it.”

“I wish you were with me,” I say.

She hooks her arm through mine. “I’ll be with you as long as you remember me.”

“Which means I can’t keep you shoved away in a box in my mind somewhere.”

“Now you’re getting it.” Sam turns to me. “Wreny, we get to take love with us, so you’re always with me.”

“I love you, Sam!” I hug her so tightly again that I know she’s going to squeak.

But I’m wrong. Sam fades away, the room fades away, and everything goes softly black.