Page 19 of Girl Between (Dana Gray FBI Mystery Thriller #5)

When I first started, I thought it was just a one-time thing. Something I had to experience. Something to get out of my system and leave behind. I never planned to do it again, but I see now that was na?ve.

I know I should stop. I’ve even tried. But I can’t hold myself to it. Not after learning the possibilities. It’s so much more than I ever imagined. My last kill was wasteful. But I can adapt. This time, I can do more, save more, make more.

I’ve discovered how lucrative this can be. Though it’s not why I started, it can’t be ignored. I have the skills. It would be a waste not to use them. A waste, just like her body.

If I make more money, I can make more of a difference. I can save more lives. If I’d done this back then, maybe I could’ve saved her. But then again, it was failing her that led me down this path.

No. I didn’t fail her. He did. I close my eyes, hatred filling what’s left of my soul.

He’ll see it soon.

He deserves everything that’s coming to him.

I want him to feel everything I feel. To lose everything I lost.

Recentering myself, I smile at her. Her life is but a small sacrifice. One life, for that of many. She won’t be missed. Not a woman like this. I could tell the moment she made eyes at me across the neon green bar.

She still hasn’t taken her eyes off me. I play the game, ignoring the drunks tossing back frozen drinks and throwing sticky plastic toys into the nets that hang from the bamboo above us like it means anything.

It doesn’t. It’s just a drunken ritual concocted to sell overpriced booze, lowering inhibitions to the dangerous level where patrons think they’ve finally achieved whatever drove them to this hedonistic playground.

She clutches her glowing grenade and for a moment the foreshadowing vision makes me wonder if this is what she was hoping for when she came here. Was she seeking an end? Either way, she’s found it. She just doesn’t know it yet.

I slap cash on the bar, paying my tab while I size her up. It’s almost too easy, the way she flocks to me.

It’s a shame. She’s pretty. I’d rather take her for a ride, have some fun, but that would be sloppy, dangerous. That’s not my style. I do this for the greater good.

I nod to the door, and she eagerly follows. As she takes my hand, offering me a flirtatious smile, I remind myself why I came here. I remind myself why she needs to die.