Page 6 of Gifts of Fate (Kindred of Arkadia #7)

“Felix, just open the door, baby, let me check on you please.” Claybourne pounded on the door.

Exhausted, Felix realized he was losing track of time, he was only catching bits and pieces of what Claybourne was saying.

When the pounding on the door turned into a full-out attack Felix shifted into a two-thousand-pound walrus and lay against the door.

Bah fucking humbug!

“Felix, come on buddy, shift back and open the door.”

Felix opened his eyes and looked down. He remembered what had led to him shifting and he felt his heart break.

“Felix, you’re scaring me to death. Open the door.”

Felix realized that it was Sebastian calling out to him, not Claybourne.

Shifting back, he struggled to get up. He grabbed a towel from under the cabinet and knotted it around his waist. His clothes lay in tatters around him.

He opened the door and peeked out. Sebastian pushed the door open, cracking him in the forehead and squeezing inside before closing the door again.

“What happened? Claybourne called me losing his damn mind. He said that you were sick and wouldn’t open the bathroom door.

I’ve never seen that man lose his composure the way he did when he couldn’t get to you, not even when y’all were racing to find a cure to the virus.

He is absolutely frantic. Kent and Liam had to get him to shift and go for a run.

” Sebastian sat down on the toilet seat.

“He’s probably just concerned because he’s a doctor and it would look bad if I died in his bathroom or something,” Felix said, hopping up on the counter.

“Die! Who said anything about dying? What in the hell is going on?” Sebastian said, panic edging into his voice.

“Calm down, Papa Smurf, I’m fine. He got me so upset I tossed my candy-laden cookies into the toilet. I probably passed out due to stress and due to the fact that I’d been up for over twenty-four hours when he decided to get all pissy.” Felix relaxed against the mirror.

“You’re fine though, right? You’re not pregnant?” Sebastian asked.

Felix shook his head. “Things have been so rocky lately I haven’t even brought it up.”

“What do you mean he got pissy? Because according to him, he was a complete and utter insensitive ass and you were leaving him.”

“Leaving him?” Felix sat straight up, struggling to remember what he had said.

I can’t do this anymore.

“Oh fuck, I may have said something like that. But, I didn’t mean it that way. All I wanted was to enjoy Christmas with my mate. How did things go so wrong?”

“How was he an insensitive ass?”

“He told me to take down all of the Christmas decorations, that they were gaudy and tacky.” Felix wiped away his tears.

“Tacky! There’s no way Rian would buy anything that was tacky!”

“I know right!”

“What else?”

“That was pretty much it. Oh, and I created more work for him since I don’t clean around here and all the Christmas stuff would make it harder for him to keep the house picked up.”

“He’s right.”

“What?”

“He was an insensitive ass.”

“I just wish he would have just talked to me about it, like an adult. He just ordered me around and belittled me like a child,” Felix complained.

“No, like my father,” Claybourne said slowly, opening the door.

“Come on, Sebastian, let’s give them some space,” Liam said from the hallway where he waited with Kent.

“Let’s get one thing straight, Doc. I love you, because to me Felix is my brother and you are his mate.

But, if you hurt my brother again, I will bring down a world of hurt on you.

I’ve kept my mouth shut up until this point hoping you’d pull your head out of your ass and see how shitty you’ve been treating him.

This is your first and last warning. You better start treating my brother right or you will see what kind of scary shit I can shift into, because I have tricks that even Felix doesn’t know about.

” Sebastian stood up and stretched, rubbing his back.

“Now make up and give me a niece or nephew to spoil.” He grinned evilly at Claybourne, who swallowed hard.

“Oh and Doc, I’ll see you tomorrow for my appointment at nine a.m.” Sebastian waddled past Felix and Claybourne to Liam.

“Good luck, Doc,” Liam said, and all three walked down the hallway.

“Felix I’m…” Claybourne started.

“I’m stealing your cinnamon rolls!” Felix heard Sebastian yell from the kitchen.

Smiling, he yelled back, “Go ahead! What’s another ten pounds!”

“Fuck you! And for that, I’m taking all of them!”

Felix smiled until he heard the front door close and his friend was gone.

“You were right!” Claybourne blurted out.

“Huh? About what?” Felix asked, wanting clarification.

“All of it. You’re right, we should be enjoying our first Christmas together.

You’re right, you don’t have a presence in our home, that’s my fault.

Every time you bought something, it would seem out of place, you were considerate of my feelings and got rid of it.

I had no idea that’s what I was doing. It wasn’t because you aren’t special to me.

” Claybourne dropped to his knees, crying.

“I never even realized that it was your first Christmas being free, of course you’d want to celebrate.

But, once again it was all about me. I freaked out that things were different.

There were needles on the floor. The lights weren’t symmetrical on the tree.

The snowman on the left side of the fireplace has a button missing.

I turned into the one person I hate most in the world.

” Claybourne pounded his fists into his thighs.

Felix jumped off of the counter and dropped onto the floor beside his mate, grabbing both hands. “I should have thought about what these changes would do. I just thought that it would be okay since it was Christmas and who doesn’t like Christmas?”

“Stop it! Stop making excuses for me. You are always compromising, always being selfless and putting what you want aside for my own asinine ways.”

“You’re my mate, of course I’ll compromise. It just hurt the way you came at me like that,” Felix admitted softly.

“We never celebrated Christmas when I was a child. Christmas meant mother would be busy with dinner parties and father would open a new bottle of whiskey. The house was never decorated. The one time I tried to put up a tree like my friends had, that is what my father yelled, ‘Take it down, it’s tacky and gaudy!’ After I left home, I didn’t know how to celebrate.

It was just me, so I never started.” Claybourne looked up and Felix could see the stark terror in his eyes at the thought of becoming like his father.

“Come with me.” Felix stood and pulled his mate up. He walked him back into the family room.

He sat Claybourne on the sofa. He ran to the kitchen and grabbed the dustpan and foxtail. He quickly swept up the loose plastic needles and threw them away. Next he grabbed a black Sharpie from the utility drawer and drew a button on the snow man. He stood in front of his mate.

“Okay, what needs to be changed with the lights?” he asked.

Claybourne looked at him for a second like he had lost his mind.

Felix rolled his hand in front of him. “Come on.”

“The branch on the right, there is a light strand that dips down lower than on the left.”

Felix turned and eyed the tree before he saw what his mate was talking about. He adjusted the light strand and stood back.

“What else?”

“I hate purple bulbs. Purple is just not a Christmas color.”

Felix easily plucked off the handful of purple bulbs.

“Now, tell me what you like.”

“I like that the tree’s lights are white.

It seems to make it glow. The color ones are never organized evenly.

I like the smell of cinnamon. I love our stockings.

I saw them when I came back out here for the phone to call Sebastian.

You really scared the hell out of me.” Claybourne looked up at him.

This time, the fear he saw there reached all the way to his mate’s soul.

“I’m sorry about blocking the door. It was childish of me,” Felix said, walking over to stand in front of his mate.

Claybourne pulled him close by the hips and buried his face in his stomach.

“I thought that you were pregnant, that you had been too afraid to tell me. When you didn’t answer I thought you were losing the baby, possibly dying, and it was all my fault.

That I had killed the only person I have ever loved.

” Claybourne’s fingers dug into his back.

“You love me?” Felix couldn’t stop the question from flying out.

Claybourne looked up at him, shocked. “What have I done? Oh God, what have I done that you don’t even think I love you anymore?” Claybourne released Felix and buried his face in his hands.

“It wasn’t all you. I was so afraid that I wasn’t good enough for you, that I haven’t been speaking up when something bothered me and it all turned to self-doubt, and then I doubted you.” Felix dropped to his knees and pulled his mate’s hands away from his face, taking them into his own.

Claybourne looked at Felix and pulled both of his hands free to cup his face. The raw emotion he saw in his mate’s eyes made him ashamed for ever doubting that the man before him felt anything but love for him.

“I love you so much that it hurts. I look at you and I physically ache. I never dreamed I could love someone so much. Sometimes, I wake up early so that I can watch you sleep. I’m tormented by the desire to wake you up and make love to you, but find it hard to wake you since you look so peaceful and perfect in your sleep.

Every day you make me laugh and smile. I’m scared some days that I will lose you because I have nothing to offer you.

How can someone like me bring you the same happiness and joy that you bring to me? ” His mate’s words were his undoing.

Sobbing uncontrollably, Felix did the only thing he could think of in that moment. He leaned forward and took possession of his mate’s lips.