Page 38 of Ghosts Don't Cry

“You don’t understand.”

“Thenhelpme understand.”

I turn to face her. “Everyone in this town decided who he was. Troublemaker. Delinquent. Someone who didn’t belong. And they treated him like he was already guilty of something before he ever did anything wrong.”

“Honey—”

“He wasseventeenwhen he first came to town, Mom. Seventeen and homeless and starving. And everyone just … looked away. Teachers saw him fall asleep in class and wrote him up instead of asking if he had somewhere safe to sleep. The principal called him a troublemaker any time he clashed with Dan, instead of calling someone who could actually help him.”

“I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“Nobody did … or if they did, they didn’t care. Because if you actually looked … if you reallysawwhat was happening … then you’d have to do something about it. And it’s so much easier to look away and tell yourself it’s someone else’s problem.”

“That’s not?—"

“Fair? No, it’s not.” My voice wobbles. “This whole town failed him. Wealldid. And when he finally did something desperate, everyone said ‘See? We knew he was bad.’”

“Honey, you can’t save everyone.”

“I wasn’t trying tosavehim.” I cross my arms, hugging myself. “I was just trying toseehim. To treat him like a person who mattered. It wasn’t enough.”

“It nearly destroyed you when he left.”

“He didn’t leave!” I’m shouting now. “He was arrested.”

“I’m sorry. I know. And it was awful. But it’s you I’m worried about now. I know what it cost you when you couldn’t help him.”

“I’m not that girl anymore.”

“No. You’re not. But you still carry her heart.”

The lasagna grows cold on our plates. The wine sits untouched beside them. Outside, the October sun paints everything in shades of gold.

“I should go.” I move past her, grabbing my purse from where I left it on the counter.

“Lily, wait—” She catches my arm. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I just … I remember what it was like.”

“I remember too.”

“Do you?” Her grip tightens. “Because I’m not sure you do. I don’t think you remember how bad it got. How scared I was for you. Just ... be careful. That’s all I’m asking.”

She walks me to the door. “Call me tomorrow?”

“I will.”

“And Lily?” She cups my cheek. “I love you. You know that, right?”

I lean into her palm for just a moment. Then I step back, because if I don’t leave now, I might fall apart completely. “I love you too, Mom.”

The drive home is quiet. I take the long way home, avoiding Main Street and Cedar Street, avoiding anywhere I might accidentally see him. When I reach my apartment building, I park in my spot and stare up at my apartment through the windshield.

If I’m going to survive him being here, I need to face it. I can’t run from it by hiding in lesson plans and movie nights. I can’t pretend that the past doesn’t matter.

Because itdoesmatter.

Chapter Fourteen

LILY - AGE 17