Page 46 of Ghost

For some reason, that made me even more confused.

Chapter Eighteen

Julian

Control

After a long moment, I had no choice but to pull my head out of the sink. First, for necessity, because I needed to breathe. And second because my phone had begun to vibrate against my leg.

“What? I need to get back to Bianca,” I snapped into the device, not even bothering to see who was calling.

Nobody from the morgue would bother me, not with Anthony there. While my brother had been texting me all evening, I’d been ignoring him. And he would never call me. Nor would my mother—she would expect me to call her instead.

Considering that, only Titus or Damen would contact me on this line. I didn’t need to hold back with either of them. I didn’t have a temper that came out often, nor was I easily flustered, but there was something about Bianca…

She brought out a primal need in me I couldn’t stop myself from embracing. Emotions I thought I’d never have in this lifetime. It had been a long time since I’d desired to feel.

We all had romantic experiences in our past. While we weren’t allowed to date, per say, there were no rules against fulfilling natural human urges. So it was easy to admit it had been difficult to walk out of that room.

“What in the world has gottenyouriled up?” Damen responded, his tone wary. “Or do I even want to know? Why are you with Bianca anyway, I thought you had plans.”

I flinched, the reminder of why I was here shooting through me.

Monks.She had thought we were paranormal investigativemonks.

Even though there was something not normal about her thought processes, it was basically true. At least for me, for the foreseeable future.

It was impossible to go back to the way things were before. Especially now that I had connected with her in such an intimate manner. I hadn’t done a reading, I would never invade her privacy in such a way. But I could still feel.

She was even more warm and pure-hearted than I’d previously assumed. Her very nature called out for me, desperately needing an anchor. I had no choice but to obey.

I couldn’t tell anyone, not even her. Despite my feelings, she was not bound to the same restraints as we. She’d stay with us, but only that.

I could never act on my desires.

She’d want to date eventually, it was a human desire. None of us could give her that. It would crush me—crush all of us—when that time came. She’d not remain unnoticed—she was a gorgeous woman. Small and slight, with curves in all the right places. Large, expressive eyes. Plump lips.

Howhadshe remained unnoticed? It didn’t seem like she spoke to anyone besides Finn. She was completely naive—something that was endearing, but also concerning. She lacked social awareness most young adults possessed. Being sheltered explained some of it. But her reactions bordered on excessive.

Was there something we were missing?

Did this have to do with Finn?I didn’t doubt he played a part. He could have simply wanted her for himself. Unlike us, he could date and marry. He did have a history of violent, possessive behavior.

But in that case, where was he? He was clearly attached, so why would he run now? And why did he never actually claim her as his?

Had he been waiting to make his move?

If Finn had been waiting, then it was unfortunate—for him. I would bite my tongue for any other man, but not for Finn Abernathy.

MaybeBiancawould take a vow of chastity? That would certainly make things easier.

“Julian?” Damen sounded concerned. “Is everything alright?”

“Sorry.” I shook my head, breaking out of my thoughts. “My plans were rescheduled. I’m at Aine’s now. Miles needed backup. We’ll discuss everything when you get here.” I racked my brain, trying to recall if there was anything else. “Mr. Weaver showed up, there’s new information for your case.”

Damen’s suspicious tone broke the sudden silence. “How did you know about my case?”

He hadn’t looked? “Norman sent out an email to the four of us, since the victim was close to Dr. Stephens.”