Page 9 of GDL (BBA: Bad Boy Academy)

9

Sawyer

Kynan's expression is like a deer caught in headlights, and it gives me my answer. It all makes sense now.

The baby blanket draped across Tharin's shoulder on the first day he greeted Grayson and me.

Why Kynan is constantly ducking away.

Him acting all weird and paranoid, not letting me into his car, no doubt because there was baby evidence in there.

And now the vomit stain on his shoulder.

"I do," he finally says, bringing his head back up and looking me straight in the eye. "His name is Ashton. He's seven months old. I only found out he existed a little over a month ago."

He stops talking and stares out at the sprawling city.

"Just so you know, anything you choose to tell me now is strictly off the record."

"Thanks." He blows through his nose and keeps going. "I met Carrie at a PR event like this one. She and I got a little too drunk, and well, one thing led to another, and we had sex. I've never slept with a fan before, but she signed an NDA so I figured what's the worst that could happen?"

"I see."

"Turns out, the best thing in the world happened." His face lights up as he tells me about Ashton, and I can tell that even though all of this came out of nowhere and is still very new, he loves being a dad.

"What about Carrie?"

His jaw tightens. "She decided motherhood wasn't for her. I struggle with it because on the one hand, I have to respect her decision. And I'm grateful she came to me and told me about Ash rather than just put him up for adoption without me knowing I was his father. But on the other hand, I wonder how anyone can…" He blows out a heavy breath. "How can anyone leave their child?… Does that make me an asshole?"

"Of course not. You're handling all of this incredibly well, and your feelings are just as valid as hers. It's a tricky situation you're navigating." I hesitate. "Was that why we had to chase you for so long to get you to agree to this piece?"

He half smiles. "A little, yeah. I already had a low opinion of the press. No offense."

"None taken."

"And then when Ash came into the picture, my shields went up even more."

"What happened with the press to make you hate us so much?"

He tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "All six of us were so naive when we were starting out. We thought that since we were creating content, we'd be in control of the narrative about us."

"And let me guess, you weren't."

"Nope. The media took one look at us with our tattoos and muscles and labeled us as party boys. Himbos… Fuckboys." His expression tightens, and I can see the pain those labels caused. "Nothing could be further from the truth. Tanner and Patrick are huge nerds who study the Billboard music charts like it's the Bible."

"They're the ones who do the music video reviews where they banter and fight with each other, right?"

"Yeah. That's them." He grins. "Silas is obsessed with learning new languages. He's currently up to six. And everyone thinks Rocky is this big bodybuilding stud who's out banging a different dude every night, but he's actually quiet and reserved, and a night of crocheting while listening to classical music with his cat in his lap is basically his idea of heaven."

"So who came up with BBA?"

"Beckett. He's slightly older and the most savvy one of us. He said that if the media were going to label us as bad boys, then we should play into it but in a way that works for us. Use it to get clicks and attention but not harm our reputations. He's obsessed with everything mid-twentieth century, from the architecture to movies and music. He suggested we become a modern-day version of The Rat Pack."

"You knew who The Rat Pack were?"

Kynan shakes his head. "No. He had to explain it to us. It was before my time."

I lean toward him. "For the record, it was before my time, too."

"You sure about that?" I poke him in his side, and he chuckles. "Anyway, that's how it came about. We became the Bad Boy Academy and play up having fun and being naughty or whatever, but in a safe, PG-rated kind of way. It allows us to appeal to the widest audience possible and stops us from getting called much worse."

"That's pretty smart."

"And as you know, the guys have become more like family than work peers." He smiles. "It's really cool."

I stare out at the city, taking all this new information in. I'd had an inkling something was up, and seeing the vomit stain on his shoulder slotted the final piece into place. It explained so much of his behavior, and now that I know he has a child, it cements my feelings for him even more.

Fatherhood is a challenge when you have nine months to prepare for it. I can't even imagine the shock he felt finding out the way he did, completely out of the blue. He's handling things so well. Better than I think I would if I were in his shoes.

After a few minutes, Kynan says, "I don't know how I want to handle this yet. I know I can't hide Ash from the world forever, but I'm not ready to go live with any big announcement."

"I won't pressure you. You have my word." Would it be great for my interview? Fuck yeah. This would take an already big story and turn it into something massive. But I'm a man of my word, and if Kynan isn't ready, then I won't pressure him. "Is that what you're worried about?"

"No. Yes." He shrugs then sighs. "I trust you, but it's not the only thing on my mind."

"What else is?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I like you, Sawyer. A lot. More than I've ever liked a man…or woman for that matter."

"Does that frighten you?"

He shakes his head. "That's the thing. I'm not scared. Or even all that confused. Something about you unlocks something in me that feels so fucking right that it's almost like I don't even have to question it… Actually, that's not true. I do have one question."

"What is it?"

"When you said that nothing more could happen between us while we worked together…" My face warms, hating that I've broken that promise so many times I've lost count. "But you hinted that afterward, maybe we could…explore."

"That's right."

"Is that option still on the table?"

"Yeah. It is."

"Because I don't want what happened the other night to be a one-off."

His words hit me right in the center of my chest in a mixture of relief that he doesn't regret what happened and hope that maybe, just maybe, he wants to see where this goes as much as I do. "I don't want it to be a one-off, either." His blue eyes sparkle, and I add, "Let's get this interview out of the way, and then see what happens."

"I'd like that."

"I'd like that, too." I thread my fingers through his. "There are some other things we'll need to discuss at some point."

"Like you being ancient?"

"Cheeky fucker. But yeah, there is a significant age gap between us."

"I'm a new dad."

"I'm based in Australia."

"I live here. Oh, and your kids are older than me."

"I thought we agreed to never bring that up again."

He chuckles. "Sorry, sorry."

I squeeze his hand a little tighter. "I think it's clear we have some stuff to figure out, but maybe we can find a way to make it work?"

His lips stretch into a smile. "I'd like that."

"I'd like that, too." I place a soft kiss against his lips and murmur, "Wanna head back inside?"

"Actually, no."

I lift an eyebrow. "Okay. Wanna stay out here and keep acting unprofessional a while longer?"

He tilts his head to the side. "Ordinarily, I'd say yes. But not tonight."

I frown when I see the worry return to his face. "What's wrong?"

"Ashton's sick, and I feel terrible being away from him."

"Well, then, let's go to him."

"Both of us?"

"Yeah. I've got plenty of experience with sick babies."

His eyes widen. "Are you… Are you sure?"

"Of course. You're a package deal. I might as well meet your other half, right?"

Kynan lifts our joined hands and presses his lips to my knuckles.

"You're the fucking best, Sawyer."

"Yeah. I really fucking am."