Page 34 of Gash (The Skulls #13)

“This smells good,”

Lacey said.

Charlotte turned to see a young girl following behind Lacey. She offered them both a smile, unsure what to say.

“Oh, shit, Charlotte, this is my daughter, Sally. Sally, this is Gash’s friend, Charlotte.”

“You cook?”

Sally asked.

“Yeah, it was a condition of staying the night.”

Charlotte frowned, looking between the two.

“Cool, we don’t have to worry about takeout. Dad doesn’t like to hurt her feelings, but Mom can’t cook. I’m going to go and do homework.”

Sally kissed Lacey’s cheek, and headed out of the kitchen.

Lacey looked ready to cry.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

She waved her hand in front of her face. “I, erm, I can’t have kids, and being able to adopt Sally, and now she’s calling me mom—it’s a dream come true.”

“Did you adopt her at a young age?”

Charlotte asked. Her own heart was breaking over the child she had lost.

“No. It was only a few months ago to be honest. Sally fought us both at the beginning. Whizz told me she was acting out in case we sent her back to her foster home.”

Lacey took a seat.

“You wouldn’t do that?”

“I know it’s strange, adopting a kid that will probably be going off to college, but I saw Sally, I saw how broken she was, and I just knew I could help her. Whizz and I, together, we could help her. We’re not perfect ourselves, but we make a good life.”

“You make a good team.”

“I like to think so.”

“Will you adopt more?”

Lacey sighed again. “I hope so. We’ve spoken to Sally about it, and she doesn’t mind. We’re looking into adopting once everything settles down at the club.”

“I hope Gash and I are not a problem—”

Before she could finish saying anything more, Lacey held her hand up.

“No, you’re not a problem. You’ll come to learn in the MC life, it’s always hectic and chaotic, but there are moments where it’s peaceful. You’ll learn to embrace those peaceful moments, and be happy about it. You and Gash are more than welcome here. I just wish I could have made you something delicious to enjoy. I’m not exactly good in the kitchen.”

Gash chose that moment to enter the kitchen. He stretched out his muscles, and Charlotte couldn’t help but stare at his hardness. His muscles were so big and thick, and she felt like a complete girl just looking at him.

You’re a woman.

He was much bigger now than he was seven years ago, and back then he’d been ripped.

Charlotte, stop it. You’re not seriously thinking about a guy being ripped?

“Showing off, are we?”

Lacey asked.

Gash lowered his arms, which she found disappointing.

“We know you’ve got the muscles and the hot body. There’s no need to brag.”

Lacey rolled her eyes and jumped out of her chair. “I’m going to go and check on Whizz and Sally. Don’t fight, kids.”

Charlotte chuckled. “I like her.”

She spoke once Lacey had left the kitchen.

“She’s interesting.”

“You don’t sound like you believe that.”

He laughed. “What can I say? She’s a little eccentric for me. Whizz loves her, and yeah, that bastard didn’t really smile for a time when I got out.”

Charlotte had seen the scars on Whizz’s face, and even the ones on his hands. She knew all about scars. The last thing she would do was stare at someone with visible marks on their body. She had her own scars, and not all of them were on the outside of her body. There were some on her wrists and on her body where she’d gotten desperate. Her scars were deep within her heart, and she hoped that helping Gash would ease the pain that was always there, making it hard for her to breathe at times.

Staring at the chicken stew, she looked at the red sauce, which reminded her once more of blood. Pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind, she moved to the pantry and found some dried pasta to cook.

“What put that sadness in your eyes, Charlotte?”

Gash stood behind her. She hadn’t even heard him move. His hands gripped her hips, and she closed her eyes. Charlotte loved his touch, always had, and it had been her downfall.

“I told you I’m not ready.”

“Did Jeff hurt you?”

Opening her eyes, she turned off the tap, and moved out of Gash’s arms to put the pot on to boil.

She went to tuck some hair behind her ears but paused when she realized her hair was up in a ponytail.

“Did he?”

Gash asked.

Staring at him, she nodded. “Don’t ask me how he hurt me, but he did.”

“Okay, why did he hurt you?”

Licking her lips, she took a deep breath. “When I came back home, you had already been arrested, and the evidence had been building against you. The moment I heard what was happening, I tried to put a stop to it. I wanted to help you. I know you’re not a rapist. I know you’re capable of murder but not a jealous murder. Jeff and Rebecca were there at the apartment, and let’s just say they made sure you were already sentenced, and I wasn’t in a good enough state of mind to help you.”

“There are a lot of holes in that story.”

“I’m not ready to tell you those holes. Maybe one day I will be.”

He was going to find out the truth. Jeff would laugh in his face, and it would blow up. Charlotte’s heart started to race, and everything fell away. Why was she hiding her secret? What did she have to gain from it? Gash would forever be doubting her, and the only way for him to realize she was on his side, was by giving it to him straight. “Actually, you know what? I’m tired of hiding this. Remember you asked if there was a woman who used to visit our apartment?”

He nodded.

“You remember fucking a woman, right? You were drunk? That woman was me, Gash. Yeah, that’s right. You fucked me. We had sex together, and the next morning, you didn’t even remember it. I figured I’d just forget about it, too. I got this big promotion at work and was asked to go to England for a business meeting, and while I was away, that was when you were arrested. When I finally got home, I suspected I might be pregnant because I’d been off my food and everything. I took a test, and I found out I was pregnant.”

She saw she was shocking him, and it was tearing her apart talking to him.

But this had to be said.

If she didn’t, Jeff would spill the truth, and the last thing she wanted was for that fucker to ever think he had any more power over her.

“You didn’t use any protection during the time we were together.

We were pregnant, and I was going to tell you once I helped testify on your behalf.

I wanted you to be involved, and I knew it was going to be a challenge to make you realize that we had slept together.

Jeff and Rebecca were there.

They saw the test that I had taken, and they knew I was going to the cops to give my testimony.

I was stupid, and I told them I knew you were innocent.

To cut an even longer story short, the night you were accused of committing the murder, you were with me.

I remember the day because it was the best day of my life.

I knew without a doubt you couldn’t have done it. Rebecca was framing you.”

“What happened to the baby?”

Gash asked. “I know what fucking happened to me. What happened to our baby?”

Tears filled her eyes as she stared at him.

“Jeff drugged me up as I was about to leave the apartment, and he had Rebecca’s help. The next thing I knew, I woke up, and he had my baby aborted. After that, I went a little crazy, and let’s just say I’ve been trying to kill myself every chance I got.”

Gash stepped forward, taking hold of her hand, and turning it up. She stared at his bent head, refusing to look at the scars that covered the inside of her wrist. She saw them every single day, a constant reminder to her. When she was at work, she covered them up with long sleeves. There were times she forgot that they were there. With Gash staring at them now, she relived the relief that she felt when she pressed the broken glass into her skin. She’d tried to end her life with broken glass, metal, anything that could cut into her skin.

Each time, before death would claim her, she’d been saved.

Her doctor on the last time had stayed with her, talking, and asked her to consider the fact that maybe she was still alive to give someone a message.

“We had a baby?”

“Everything you need to know is with Whizz. Excuse me.”

Charlotte couldn’t stay with him after revealing her soul to him.

Leaving the kitchen, she made her way outside and took several deep breaths. The garden was small, but it had a chair toward the back. Taking a seat, she stared up at the cool sky.

“Are you okay?”

Sally asked.

Charlotte turned, surprised to see the young girl sitting on the patio, doing her homework.

“I thought you were inside?”

“I like working outside. It clears my head.”

Sally shrugged. She had a blanket wrapped around her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Charlotte stared up at the stormy sky. “It’s going to start raining soon.”

“There’s snow forecast,”

Sally said.

“Figures.”

Sally didn’t say anything else, and Charlotte couldn’t help but look back at the young girl. “Are you happy?”

“I am. The Skulls, it’s a family, and with Lacey and Whizz adopting me, I’ve finally found a place for myself. Besides, I’m always protected.”

“Protected?”

“The guys and the prospects, they all work to protect us. Some of the brothers pick me up, and bring me home. I like it. For once in my life, I’m actually safe.”

Sally went bright red, and Charlotte just knew that she had a crush on someone. It had been too long since she had been young, and falling in love. There were times she wished she could still be like that.

****

“I need the folder you have on Charlotte.”

Gash leaned against the door. His entire world was turning upside down, and right at that moment, he couldn’t focus for shit. The woman he’d spent years dreaming about was none other than Charlotte, the woman he’d always liked but always overlooked. The woman he believed he could never have.

“You know?”

“She just fucking told me. It’s not true, man. Tell me it’s not true.”

Gash didn’t want it to be true. He didn’t want her to have gone through that kind of shit on her own. Fuck, he’d been so consumed by himself that he’d not even thought about anyone else.

Whizz didn’t say anything. “I’ve just finished printing her stuff out.”

“Is it bad?”

“It’s worse, and you’ll get everything you need in there. There’s a spare bedroom upstairs on the right. It’s where I’m going to put you and Charlotte tonight.”

Gash thanked him and walked upstairs. His hands were shaking, and when he closed the door to the bedroom, he sat down on the bed and stared at the folder. He saw the sheets of paper peeking out at the edges, taunting him.

Closing his eyes, he finally saw Charlotte, the woman without a face, and she fit perfectly. He’d fucked her hard, and taken what he wanted without asking. Charlotte had submitted to him, giving him everything he wanted, and they had been perfect for each other.

Opening the file, he started to read, Charlotte’s words ringing around his head. Twenty-four hours ago, he’d been intent on hurting her, and yet because of her association with him, she’d been the one hurt.

She wanted to help him, and on the paperwork in front of him there were calls, proof that she had tried to reach out to him. Gritting his teeth, he read through every single piece of paper, even down to Charlotte’s admission.

He even chuckled, though he felt anything but laughing. Charlotte had been pregnant with their kid, and then she’d had it torn from her. She had gone to a mental facility at the same time he’d been sent to prison, and released the exact same day that he had.

Fucking shit!

Throwing the file to the floor, he started to pace the bedroom. This was all just too damn much for him.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

He’d always assumed that he’d been the one fucked over. Now he learned that not only had Jeff and Rebecca fucked him, they had also fucked over an innocent. Charlotte had been an innocent. She shouldn’t have been brought into this shit, and yet she was.

Even now he remembered her as a shining light, always smiling and laughing with him. Just being around her had made him feel good. He’d always tried to make her laugh, which wasn’t hard to do.

Since he’d seen her again, Charlotte hadn’t laughed or joked. The carefree woman was gone, and in her place was a broken one. Anger filled him, consuming him, and there was nothing he could do to give her back what had been taken from them.

Moving toward the window he paused. Charlotte was still outside, and she was staring up at the sky. Did she even realize the way she was sitting? Her legs were out, and her hands with her palms facing up. It was the same position that she had taken in one of the pictures as she’d been interviewed. There was no life inside her.

“You’ve both been broken,”

Whizz said, startling him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d come to see how you were getting on. Lacey’s ruining what Charlotte did of dinner.”

“You knew this when I asked you to do the search?”

“Yes.”

“It’s why you didn’t want me to go hunting for her?”

“Charlotte has suffered enough. She doesn’t need to be used by you to find out more truth.”

Gash gritted his teeth to stop himself from crying. He just wanted to scream and cry, and hurt someone. Jeff Wright. He was going to hurt that son of a bitch, and when he was done, he was going to make sure that the bastard wished for death long before he even got it.

“They tortured her,”

Gash said.

“She was helpless.”

“I know.”

He’d not been there to help or save her. Instead he’d been locked in a cell, and spent his days planning to hurt those who had put him there. “I didn’t help her.”

“Dude, you couldn’t help her. Don’t beat yourself up about shit you couldn’t control. You can help her now, and that is all that counts.”

Charlotte’s face was turned up to the sky. There was no smile on her face, and she was staring up at nothing. Her face was blank.

“When I was threatening her life she offered to kill Rebecca providing I kill Jeff.”

“I’m not shocked by that.”

Whizz shrugged. “What are you going to do?”

“She was carrying my baby.”

“I think you need to touch on the fact that not only was she carrying your baby, you didn’t even remember putting it inside her.”

“Everything is totally fucked up.”

“Do you care that you screwed her?”

Gash glared at him. “What kind of fucking question is that?”

“I’m just trying to make sense of it, man.”

“Sense? You want sense? How about this? For the past seven years I’ve been curious about a fucking woman that I didn’t think existed. Only it turns out that not only does that woman exist, but she’s been someone I’ve been harboring hatred for because she didn’t come and help me. When everything I’ve been thinking is fucking lies. Charlotte needed me. She was pregnant with my kid, and I fucking failed her.”

His voice had risen to the point of yelling. He was so angry. This time he was angry at himself, and how stupid he had been.

She had been there, and tried to save you.

She went to hell along with you, and you’d not even known it.

The first thing he did when he saw her again was choke her. Fuck, crap, shit. He hated himself.

“I had a kid.”

“Did you remember her?”

Whizz asked.

“I remembered bits of the night, holding her, feeling her wrapped around me. It’s what got me through the worst part of prison. I need to go talk to her.”

Gash wasn’t going to run away. All he wanted to do was forget about the shit that she’d been through, focus on his own pain, but that wasn’t the kind of man he was. Years ago, it’s what he would have done, but now, he wouldn’t even dream of doing it.

Now was not the time to shirk his responsibilities.

“We’re here if you need us,”

Whizz said. “I’m going to keep on looking, and you can stay here until you need it.”

Gash nodded. In moments like this, he appreciated the club. The Skulls gave him the family that he never had. They were his brothers, which was why he never sought out his own brother. He didn’t even know what had happened to Andrew. They had both come to the club together, and Andrew had failed to make the grade when it came to The Skulls’ standard.

Pushing thoughts of his brother out of his mind, he made his way outside. Gash paused when he saw Sally on the ground, studying.

Sally looked at him, then toward Charlotte. “Okay, I’ll look scarce.”

He waited until Sally was gone, and the door had closed giving them some privacy, or as much privacy as they could have in the garden.

Charlotte was nibbling her lip, and he moved toward her.

“That was fast,” she said.

“I read the file. I didn’t need to read all of it.”

He’d glanced through some of the pages. Gash knew as much as he needed to about the situation.

“Do you still think I know where Rebecca and Jeff are?”

Charlotte chuckled.

“Don’t do that. Don’t make jokes.”

He knelt down, holding onto her knees.

Tears were once again in Charlotte’s eyes. “You were drunk. I never expected you to remember what happened. You thought I’d put you to bed after passing out.”

“I don’t remember the day clearly.”

“You were my first,” she said.

Gash winced. “You were a virgin.”

“Yep. How unlucky am I? Not only do I have sex for the first time with a man so drunk he doesn’t know his own name, but I get pregnant the first time.”

Charlotte shook her head. “I guess I asked for what I got.”

He cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. “No, you didn’t get what you deserved.”

Unable to hold back any more, he took possession of her lips. It was a simple kiss, and yet it was totally right. Pulling away, he wiped the tears that fell down her cheeks, hating the fact she was crying. “We made a baby?”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to kill Jeff. I will make him suffer, and make him wish that he never looked in your direction.”

“Do you forgive me?”

she asked, sobbing.

“You’ve got nothing to forgive, baby. Nothing at all. I’m the one who should be asking you for forgiveness.”

“Why? There’s nothing to forgive you either, Gash. I know you didn’t want to have sex with me. I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”

She was staring down at her hands, which lay in her lap.

Gash didn’t know what to say. Charlotte had always been unreachable to him. She was the kind of woman a man like him couldn’t have. He wasn’t a good man. He had killed people and didn’t care that he’d ended lives. When he first met Charlotte, she had always been the sunlight. She reminded him of purity, love, and everything he’d sold his soul to never have.

“You deserved better than a man like me. I’m not a good guy. I’m a fucking evil bastard, Charlotte.”

“Stop it.”

“No. You’re an amazing woman. I loved spending time with you, but I knew I wasn’t the guy for you. You’re the kind of girl who deserved someone who was gentle, kind.”

“You don’t know me at all,”

she said. “I was attracted to you, and you gave me the most amazing night of my life. When I woke in the morning, reality came back, and that sucked.”

“And you got pregnant. Were you going to tell me?”

“I told you that I was going to tell you, Gash. I knew I had to make you believe that we’d been together. You deserved a chance to be a father.”

He took a deep breath to stop himself from falling apart. “I’d have believed you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you. That fucker took away our chance to be together. We would have been happy, Charlotte. I’d have made you my old lady, and no one would have ever hurt you.”

“Seven years, Gash. We would have had a seven year old child.”

Pressing his head against hers, he gripped the back of her neck, holding her tightly.

“I will end him, Charlotte.”

“Not without me. You’re not leaving me behind. I need this, Gash.”

They would have to do this together, and Gash wasn’t going to let her go.