Page 34 of Gabriel's Promise (Gabriel's Inferno 4)

She did not wake Gabriel.

* * *

There was a part of the very, very early feedings Julia enjoyed. She liked the quietness of the house. She liked holding and bonding with her baby. But she found it difficult to stay awake.

Rachel had bought her a large, crescent-shaped pillow and for good reason. One day in the hospital Julia had almost dropped the baby while falling asleep during a feeding. Rachel had intervened at just the right moment. Ever since, when Julia felt especially fatigued, she situated the pillow around her waist and was sure to rest the baby securely atop it.

Clare rested comfortably against her mother, feeding, while Julia stared blankly at the breastfeeding app Gabriel had downloaded on her phone. The app charted feedings, helped her remember the side on which to begin, and so on.

Julia wondered what it would be like in a year’s time, when they were in Scotland. Clare would be weaned by then. And Julia would be taking classes.

Without a doubt Gabriel, as Sage Lecturer, would be deluged with meetings and invitations. Undergraduate and graduate students alike would clamor for his attention.

He was an attractive man with a lively, sharp intelligence. Many women found his personality sexy. And the Paulinas, Professor Pains, and Christa Petersons of the world had either seduced him or attempted a seduction.

It wasn’t that Julia didn’t trust her husband. She did. He’d been faithful to her since their relationship began in Toronto. But Julia didn’t trust the women around him. She didn’t trust the creeping separateness that came from living apart, which was why she didn’t want to stay in Boston if he was in Scotland. But the idea of him being separated from Clare for so long and at such an early age weighed on her the most.

Commuting couples were not uncommon in academia. The University of Toronto had had several. Indeed, in Julia’s department at Harvard there was a professor whose wife taught at the University of Barcelona and lived in Spain with their children. Still, a commuter marriage was not what Julia wanted; it was not what she wanted for Clare.

Julia knew the pain of being separated from Gabriel. When he’d been disciplined by the University of Toronto for violating the nonfraternization policy, he’d cut ties with her. She’d spent a long time mourning his absence, wondering if she’d ever see him again. Even now, the separation marked her. She didn’t want to go through something like that again.

Julia said a silent, spontaneous prayer of thanks for Katherine Picton’s wisdom and support. She’d become godmother to the entire family.

“Here.” Gabriel stood in front of her holding a tall glass of iced water.

Julia startled. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Not long.” He placed the glass in her hand and collapsed in the rocking chair. “You’re supposed to drink a large glass of water every time you feed her.”

“I know.” Julia drank the water gratefully.

Gabriel yawned and rubbed his eyes. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You were tired.”

“So are you, darling.” Gabriel lifted a child-sized wooden stool and placed it in front of Julia. He perched precariously atop it, his legs so long that his knees huddled awkwardly against his chest. “I just received another email from Edinburgh.”

“They’re up early.”

“Indeed. They want to schedule the announcement and gala as soon as possible.”

“Would you go by yourself?”

Gabriel breathed deeply. He touched the calf of her left leg. “No. I want you and Clare to come with me.”

He slid his hand down to her foot and lifted it with both hands. Then he began to rub the sole of her foot.

“I’m not supposed to fly until six weeks after my c-section. I don’t think Clare should be exposed to an airplane full of germs before some of her vaccinations, either.”

“But you’d come with me if we waited until the twenty-first of October?” Gabriel’s voice was low, cautious.

Julia thought for a moment. “Yes. I probably won’t be able to go to the gala or any events, unless Rebecca comes with us. But we could try to make it work. Do you think Edinburgh would be okay with me joining you?”

“They’d better be.” Gabriel’s expression grew dangerous.

Here was the Professor in his natural state, fierce and protective, proud and determined, like a dragon defending his gold.

Julia decided to lighten the mood. “I’m sure the female population of greater urban Edinburgh will be delighted to see Professor Emerson walking the streets of the city pushing a stroller. In a kilt.”