From rolling after a successful parachute drop: a term to describe an individuals buttocks. The first three points are feet, calves, and back of the thigh.

I know this because I took a hard landing, jumping out of a crashing plane on a job that should have been simple, with a woman latched to me with a jimmy rigged harness.

And that was just the beginning of the chaos. With my teammates nowhere in sight, it was way too easy to fall for this woman’s charms. To say we got dirty was a nice way of putting it.

Then the bear attacked and...

From rolling after a successful parachute drop: a term to describe an individuals buttocks. The first three points are feet, calves, and back of the thigh.

I know this because I took a hard landing, jumping out of a crashing plane on a job that should have been simple, with a woman latched to me with a jimmy rigged harness.

And that was just the beginning of the chaos. With my teammates nowhere in sight, it was way too easy to fall for this woman’s charms. To say we got dirty was a nice way of putting it.

Then the bear attacked and put us in an even more perilous position that I was unequipped to deal with after I decided to sacrifice myself to save the frustratingly beautiful woman.

So, it was no surprise when after all that, I kept in touch with her. She started writing me letters, telling me about the idiot who cheated on her. And I responded in equal kind, complaining about how my mother came for a visit, catching me with a stash of unmentionable magazines.