Page 85 of Found in Obscurity

They’d be proud of you,Kit wrote as if reading his mind, and Lorin shook his head.

“I ran, Kit. As soon as I knew the truth about what happened to them, the world felt like it closed in on me. I couldn’t see the way forward, but I knew I couldn’t be like them. Be magical. Embrace the unknown of my calling. Risk mine or someone else’s life after bonding. I couldn’t handle the potential for things to go wrong.”

They wouldn’t blame you for it, Kit said.Nobody would blame you. You were a kid and you lost so much.

“So did you,” Lorin said. “But you fought and stayed.”

I was already hurt though,Kit wrote.I had to fight to fix things. You were trying to prevent harm.

“Does that justify it?” Lorin asked.

I think it does. I think they’d understand that you needed time to find yourself. You’re back now.

“I had no plans to come back.”

Why did you?

“Because…” He swallowed and finally let himself examine the real reasons why he had gotten on that bus. Why he had booked vacation time as soon as he saw that message. “A part of me was missing. I’d lost myself along the way.”

Kit squeezed his arm for him to continue, his gaze overflowing with compassion.

“Once I moved to the city and got a job, I thought that was it. I had my own place and everything was stable and safe. Exactly the way I wanted it. I didn’t tell anyone I was a witch, and no one asked about me. Not really. It was easy to hide because I had no one to hide it from anymore. No one close. No one who knew or understood me. I thought it was better that way. I had chosen my road to walk down.”

Kit scratched two words on the paper that struck Lorin right to his core.Sounds lonely.

Lorin blinked away the sting in his eyes and the ache in his chest. “It was,” he whispered. “At first, I convinced myself that it was right. That it would start to feel better…”

You weren’t happy?

“No,” Lorin mumbled, the echo of his grandma’s words mixed with Kit’s strangling the true answer from him finally. He swiped a tear from his eye before it could fall. “But I didn’t know what else to do. Once I made that decision I didn’t know how to go back. I was stubborn. This was supposed to be my path forward, but I was so empty and confused. I decided to numb it out. Push it down. And it worked…until my witch marks started coming in. I couldn’t ignore it anymore. And that part of me that felt lost didn’t want to.”

Kit took Lorin’s hand in his, stroking along the marks he clearly liked so much.

Lorin remembered the sheer and total panic of seeing that first creeping stain on his nail beds. The threat that it would shatter the illusion he’d built his life around. The reminder of the biggest pain of his life.

Now they represented something completely different.

There was pride and love. His perseverance and sweat and tears were all inked indelibly into his skin. They were purpose. They were all parts of himself that he’d kept sheltered and hidden away for so long. Finally surfacing, finally embraced.

“The moment I found you, things started to clear up,” Lorin said.

That’s how it should be. I’ll always be here to guide you forward. I never want you to feel lost with me, Kit wrote.But you walked this path yourself. I was just waiting at the end of it so we could walk the rest together.

He read the words and felt like he was being cleansed. Like he was being seen totally for the first time, wholly and completely. He turned sideways to cup Kit’s face in his palm.

“I never thought it could be that way,” Lorin said, swallowing against the weight of what he was about to say. “You made everything make sense.”

Kit raised his hand to grip Lorin’s wrist. He nuzzled into the palm still on his cheek, kissing the center. He looked up at Lorin, his eyes flashing brighter, ears morphing into points, and Lorin gasped, whispering the first incantation that came to mind. Just to keep Kit. Just to not have to lose him to the shift now that he needed him so much.

The spell did help a bit. The ears rounded again, but Kit’s eyes kept glowing. Lorin knew it meant they had very little time left.

Don’t strain yourself,Kit wrote to him.You’re exhausted.

“I don’t want you to go,” Lorin whispered desperately.

Not going anywhere,he wrote.I’ll be right here with you like I always am. And you can help me shift back to human once we both get some sleep. You won’t get rid of me that easy, witch boy.

Lorin tried to find solace in that, fighting against the thrumming need within him to grasp Kit and hold him tight. He caressed Kit’s face just under that glowing eye, fighting for calm, to contain every raw emotion within him. He held his gaze and with a final look to confirm that they were on the same page, he leaned in and brushed his lips against Kit’s.