Page 20 of Fortune’s Control (Fortune’s Creek #1)

Lilah slammed the door shut, leaving me alone.

The oppressive silence she left behind pushed down on me. I breathed in the familiar comfort of old wood and dust, but found the faintest trace of lemon.

I grabbed my nearby shirt and put it on before moving to the washbasin to slap cool water on my face.

My leg throbbed as lightning bolts moved down my calf to my ankle.

I ignored my doctor’s suggestions, preferring the cruel finality of amputation to any futile hope. I never regretted that choice, and still don’t. There was no point in explaining and no reason to share. Jack worried for me; the townsfolk cheered me on, and I ignored it all.

I left the tools where they lay and flicked off the fluorescent lights.

*****

She didn’t respond to my knock.

I opened her door anyway and found her staring at the open suitcase on her bed. “You’re not leaving, so put it away.”

“Are you telling me what to do again?”

“Yes.” I zipped the suitcase shut and set it on the floor, far from her. “You’re welcome, by the way. I hope Pirate enjoys her new bed.”

Her face scrunched up. “You came here for the cat bed?” she scoffed.

“I’m here because you left before we finished our conversation.”

“Get out. You just said that. It’s a direct quote.”

“It was a poor choice of words.”

“A poor choice of words? Shane, I think we should call this off.” Lilah drew her hands into a fist before forcing them to relax.

She sucked in a breath and lifted her shoulders before they fell back.

“From the beginning, we agreed to get an annulment after the gossip died down.” Lilah’s voice weakened as she struggled to say the next part. “I think it’s time to end this.”

Like hell we would. “You’re wrong.”

“We kept secrets from each other, Shane. Do you know what that implies? This isn’t real.”

“Not anymore. Our secrets are out, and no.”

“No?”

Sophie prodded me to fix this, and I managed a bang-up job so far. I forced Lilah to tell me why she came to Fortune’s Creek and hardened myself at her distress. She found the topic painful, and I kept demanding answers.

It was fair to give her the same. If there was any future, even a glimmer of one, Lilah had a right to know.

“No. We aren’t getting an annulment. Not today and not tomorrow. Come with me.” I took her hand before she could protest. “See my room. We can revisit that topic later.” We wouldn’t, but I’d save that argument for another time.

Lilah took in my bed’s slate gray bedding and mismatched furniture. “ Sober.”

I snorted at her frank description. “That window seat used to be decorative, and now I use it to get dressed. You can look in the bathroom. Jack installed a handrail in the shower for me, and I use it more than I care to admit. There are anti-slip pads, too. I bought the shower chair.”

Her eyes drifted to the ugly metal walker in the corner.

“I used that early on, mostly during physical therapy. It’s still here in case of an emergency. I still use the crutches. There’s another pair downstairs in the hall closet.”

Lilah’s features softened as I explained. The invisible shield she protected herself with disappeared, and I knew she listened and understood what I wanted her to hear. This was factual information, and also the most private parts of myself.

“I saw the crutches and assumed they were from a high school injury.”

“My accident took place over a year ago. Definitely not high school.”

“You don’t need to explain that part if you don’t want to. Trusting me with all of this, it’s... thank you.”

It was important to get the rest out. “I didn’t plan for it to be a secret, or at least never intended it to be.

We didn’t speak for days afterwards, and our first few conversations were accidents.

It never came up.” Lilah gave me a doubtful stare.

“It’s true. I haven’t discussed it with anyone more than necessary since the beginning, and it’s uncomfortable to do so now. It’s not how I want people to see me.”

Lilah sat at the edge of the window seat, so her eyes were level with my thighs.

She inspected the prosthetic, noting the material and different parts, until finally she leaned back to look up at me.

“All I see is you, Shane. That’s still all I see.

You can see the garage apartment in here.

I watched your bedroom light come on and imagined you in here, getting ready for bed. I wondered if you did the same. ”

I sat down beside her, and we both looked at my prosthesis. “Yes, I did the same with you.”

“What is it made of?” Lilah touched the edge where it met my skin.

“Carbon fiber, computer chips, and silicone. Do you want to know what happened?”

“I want you to share what you’re comfortable sharing.

” I didn’t miss her subtle rebuke. She continued in a firmer tone this time.

“I’d also like to understand our date. You left me hanging, and then avoided me for three days after.

I’ll admit to doing the same to you, but under the circumstances, I want to blame you.

That’s unfair of me. I realize that, and I’m sorry for my poor reaction.

My hurt spoke before my ears were ready to listen.

After all you’ve done, you deserved a chance to explain rather than my assuming the worst. I should have asked outright, or at least ignored that get out comment. ”

My lips curled into a half-smile at her statement. “I regret how our date ended. That is the truth.”

“Then why do it?”

“Explaining means answering both questions.” She kept silent, showing her acquiescence.

“I enlisted several months after high school, and then a month before I was due to leave, my parents died in a car accident. After that, I would occasionally come home to take care of family business and check on my sister. I decided not to reenlist after ten years, and my injury occurred two months before my discharge. I suppose that makes it an accident of timing, considering how little remained in my enlistment.” I tapped my knee.

“An ordinance training accident. It wasn’t my fault, not that it matters.

Its awful appearance told me I wouldn’t walk on it for a long time, if ever, but it didn’t hurt. A paper cut hurt more.”

“It hurt later,” she guessed.

“The pain started after the amputation. That’s when I learned what true pain felt like. It kept me awake. It woke me up.” The cruel throbbing and the lightning running down a leg that didn’t exist. My throat tightened. “It’s better now.”

Lilah heard something in my voice and took my hand.

“I made the correct decision, despite the pain. My medical team presented options, telling me it could be saved. With surgeries, some mobility would return.”

She gasped at my statement and the implication. “Shane?”

“Yes, it was my choice, if that’s what you’re asking.

I won’t lie and say it was easy. I had some dark moments and times when rage filled me.

I was angry at the idiot whose mistake caused it to happen.

The physical therapists wanted me to slow down, so I yelled at them.

I cursed up a storm every time I fell. They suggested swimming, so I picked up running.

I lay in bed and tried to picture my future, but I never could.

I saw a therapist for a while, which helped, and took antidepressants at his urging. That helped, too.”

“Are you still in pain?”

“You can touch. Here.” I placed her hand on top of my knee. “In the evenings, yes. I replaced medication with therapy and training. The more I do on my own, the better I feel. Jack once said I should enter a thick-thigh contest. You’re probably wondering why I’m telling you all this.”

“I’m focused on listening more than solving clues.” Lilah’s hand drifted up, and she squeezed my thigh. “You’d win the contest. That’s muscle.”

My heart quickened at her statement. I stroked her lower lip with my thumb and fought back the urge to kiss her again.

“My point is, despite all of it, I never regretted that decision. You can call it gut instinct or intuition if you want, but when I make those kinds of decisions, that’s it. I don’t regret them. Ever.”

Lilah’s neck twisted, so she looked away from me, giving herself a chance to process what I said. “I think I know why you’re telling me this, especially that last part, but I’m not sure I’m ready to believe it.”

I wanted to tilt her chin and force eye contact, but let her be. Looking away was a form of self-imposed invisibility, a way to hide one’s insecurities. I recognized the behavior because it’s not that different from how I spent the last year.

“You spent time with my sister, correct? I’ll bet she shared a ton of opinions about me.”

“She did.”

“Good. Remember them for this next part. Since then, I’ve relearned how to climb stairs, stand up, maintain balance, drive a car, get dressed, and perform countless other tasks.

I also struggled in other ways. For the first time, I had no purpose.

No jobs and no plans. My friends noticed it, which is one reason you saw me at the Gator Tale that night. ”

Lilah craned her neck to stare up at me. Her bold, unblinking eyes met mine. “Your friends love you, Shane. This whole town does. Their affection for you rubbed off on me.”

“No, that’s all you. Don’t put yourself down, Lilah. Not in front of me, and not ever. I won’t let you.” Her lips parted in surprise and discomfort.

I took her hand and intertwined it with my own, and let myself enjoy the act’s simple pleasure.

She didn’t argue, so I continued, “I was unsure of myself for the first time with you. My friends dragged me out to eat or go fishing, and Jack invented jobs that required my help. I’m not a social butterfly, if you haven’t noticed. ”

Her beautiful laugh calmed me. My amputation and everything that resulted from it were not my favorite subjects. It wasn’t shame; more that I didn’t want to invite others into that part of myself. Withdrawing was easier, especially for me.

“You disappear into that woodshop every night, Shane. Yes, I’ve noticed.”

“Well, if you noticed, so did everyone in town. Pete, Diane, Lainey, and all the rest. This town is my home. People here cheered at your appearance because you accomplished the impossible.” I frowned at the admission.

“Since returning home, I’ve been angry at the world, uncomfortable in my body, and frustrated about everything. Do you know what else?”

“I think you’ll tell me, regardless of what I say.”

She wasn’t wrong. “I made the right decision back then.”

“And now?” Her soft question, given with a touch of finality, told me she knew what came next.

“Twice, I asked if you needed help, and you refused. It was your choice, so I told myself to leave you be. Then, you walked into the restaurant, and I watched you all night. It was your third chance, and I wasn’t letting you go that time.

All that remained was figuring out how to accomplish it, and then Aiden’s ridiculous shenanigans presented the opportunity. ”

“Shenanigans?!?” Lilah covered her mouth to stop a giggle. “Shane, you’re thirty-one, not sixty-one.”

“Call it a prank, if you prefer. It doesn’t matter.

You were shocked and unsure of what to do, while I saw an opportunity.

A third chance came up, and I wasn’t letting you go.

I didn’t agree because of pity or to save face.

I did it, knowing it would overwhelm you so you couldn’t refuse me a third time.

It bound you to me while I figured out what to do next.

“So, after hearing this, do you believe I’d give up over a poorly worded statement and a date night that didn’t end how we wanted?”

Lilah struggled for a response. Her lips moved, forming one word and then the other. “I think you deliberately knocked me over, and it worked. Thank you for following me. Repeatedly.”

“Then we agree. Come here.” We were right next to each other, and it wasn’t enough. I beckoned her closer. I cupped her cheeks as she leaned in, dragging her against me. “I like you, too, Delilah Mayberry, and we won’t be calling a damned thing off tonight. Do you get that?”

Her frantic nod said enough. I closed the last bit of space between us and kissed her.