Page 49 of Fortress of Ambrose (House of Marionne #3)
The tenderness of his touch makes my heart thud stronger.
He holds his hand there against my skin, and I savor it, not daring to ask for more.
Not willing to tempt fate to rip away this moment, too.
I inhale, letting the scent of him drown the erratic panic in my veins.
Closer—I want him closer. This distance feels like my heart beating outside of my body.
Like a hug with one arm, instead of two.
I lean against his hand, unable to resist, melting into his embrace. He’s rigid with fear, but he lets himself hold me. His free hand strokes my hair. I don’t speak, afraid to shatter this stolen moment between us.
When he lets me go, I can still feel his heart pounding in his chest. He puts more space between us. “You’re okay. I—it was okay.”
“You used toushana so strongly out there. It probably helped satisfy it.”
“I didn’t mean to.” He pales. “It just bled out of me instinctually. I told myself to trust it. But I was afraid it might…I don’t know.”
“I’m okay. It protected me. That must have been what you wanted, deep down.”
His color returns, and his thudding heart settles, then he asks, “Are you feeling better?”
The weight on my chest is lighter. “I am. But what are we doing here? Seeing my mother only makes me more determined to have a life that’s mine.
I want to be free, Jordan. Not in a new kind of safe house for toushana.
Not running for my life or hiding. I want to live.
Don’t I deserve that? Don’t we deserve that? ”
“I want that, too.”
“Then the world has to change. And the Dragunhead has to be dealt with.”
“Dead. He has to be dead.”
Silence hangs between us.
“I could face him.”
“Not with all of dark magic inside you. It’s too much of a risk. We have to extract the Sphere’s toushana and put it in something safe. Then rewrite the rules for this backward world. Nova Misa shouldn’t have to exist. Jordan, the people Knox and Willam are trying to help deserve freedom, too.”
“And Zecky?” His jaw works.
I sigh. “You have to see what I mean. You’re trusting toushana now, too?”
“Because I know what I am and am not capable of. Same goes for you. I don’t know them. Willam never struck me as honest. And now I see I was right. People like that can’t be trusted with toushana. It’ll corrupt them.”
“The magic will corrupt them?”
“Yes. Like it’s corrupting those people razing cities.
I’ve told you before, it takes a lot of self-control to be this close to this much power and not be incensed by it.
But none of this matters if the Sphere’s magic is not safe.
We have to be careful. Keep our eyes on one another.
Trust no one. Willam can prove himself. Time will tell. ”
“We’ve brought Zecky’s people here.”
“To do a task. Then they are free to go.”
“Into a world that would destroy them? Or force them to hide in a place like Nova Misa? I’m not for that. I won’t stand for that. It’s not right.”
“So you suggest we hand out trust like candy?” he asks.
“What is your plan, then, huh?” I ask.
“I trust you. You trust me. We have all of magic between us. We can decide who gets to use it and who doesn’t. I was thinking of a set of rings, tied by tracer magic, perhaps. Each family with a ring can pass it down in their bloodline. If the family misbehaves, the ring is taken away.”
“The Order by another name.”
Anger flickers across his expression. He takes a beat, scoping out a spot to store the metal box with the diadem and locking it in a cabinet. “We’ll need to find a better place for it. But this is good for now.”
I blow out a breath. And step closer to him. He doesn’t step back, but I can feel his nervousness.
“Are you sure you’re alright being away from your mother like this, after—?”
“I am. It’s time I fly on my own.” When this is all said and done, I will see her again and we will bury our toes in the sand. “We extract the dark magic and kill the Dragunhead. That frees us and them. Whatever else needs to happen with a new Order can be figured out after that.”
The green in Jordan’s eyes shimmers. “Alright.” He raises a thumb to my lips, and I dare to lean into it. He rubs it roughly across my mouth, and I burn for him in another way. Then he blinks. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
I smirk. “You must have wanted to do that, too, deep down.”
He takes a full step backward. “I’m sorry, I feel things so strongly now.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I thought about…and then, next thing you know, I was…never mind.”
“I’m going to move up to the Headmistress suite to make as much room as possible for everyone. I don’t want to sleep up there all alone.”
“We’re already playing with fire, Quell. We must be careful. You have to get through this unharmed.”
“If you’re worried about your toushana getting out of control, use it more. It worked tonight.”
He shifts on his feet uncomfortably.
“Meet me tonight. I’ll show you.” I tell him about the broom closet and how to get to the forest behind the Chateau, where my secret lived when I was here last Season.
He agrees reluctantly before rushing out the door suddenly without another word.