Page 14 of Formula Freedom (Race Fever #3)

Reid

T he sky is still dim when I step out onto the balcony with a cup of coffee in hand, the soft light of pre-dawn brushing over Melbourne.

I left Lara curled up in my bed, still tangled in the sheets I wrapped her in hours ago.

The city hasn’t fully woken up yet, but I have.

I’m always up early on race day, even before the mandatory briefings, the strategy huddles, the endless sponsor photos.

The excitement of what’s coming normally has me eager to jump out of bed.

But this morning, for the longest time, I didn’t want to move.

Didn’t want to let go of the wonder and awe of having Lara in my arms. I spent far too much time watching her sleep, memorizing her breathing pattern, and marveling at how perfectly she fit against me.

Alas, duty called, and I slipped out as quietly as possible to give her more time to sleep.

I grip the railing with one hand, drawing in a deep breath of the cool autumn air. My chest is tight—not with nerves about the race, but with a strange, steady warmth, every bit of it due to Lara.

It’s not just that we had sex. It’s what it meant. Because this didn’t feel like crossing a line. It felt like finding one we’d never dared to seek before.

Behind me, I hear the shuffle of feet, and my heart rate increases tenfold. I turn, and there she is—barefoot in one of the hotel’s fluffy robes, red hair tousled from sleep, a drowsy half smile on her freckled face that undoes me in ways pole position never could.

“Did I wake you?” I ask.

She shakes her head, joining me at the railing but then amends with a sheepish smile, “Maybe a little. Sleep okay?”

“Slept great, which is a little weird.” I offer her my mug. “I’m often restless the night before a race.”

She takes a sip, winces and hands the brew back to me. “Not a black coffee fan.”

I shrug. “Don’t judge.”

“Never,” she replies drolly and leans into the rail, brushing against my arm. We stand like that, watching the sunrise paint the buildings with gold, but my eyes keep cutting to her. I’ve seen her face thousands of times, but for some reason, it’s more beautiful now than ever.

“How are you feeling about the race?” she finally asks, turning to find me unabashedly staring at her.

“Good,” I say. “Car’s strong. Felix and Tariq ran simulations half the night, and they think we’ve got a good chance at the undercut strategy if Lex gets caught behind backmarkers.”

She frowns. “Backmarkers?”

“Slower cars at the back of the field. You can lose time trying to pass them.”

“Aah,” she says thoughtfully, nodding. “Learn something new every day. It’s a lot different from when you raced rally.”

That pulls a smile out of me. “Very different.”

Rally is all about trying to figure out how to tame chaos. It’s firmly dependent upon deeply rooted gut instinct coupled with nerves of steel, and my rally experience served me well when I transitioned to open-wheel racing.

But I don’t delve into that. We have something more important to discuss given what happened between us last night. “Any regrets?” I ask.

She blinks at me in surprise. “Regrets?”

I stare at her, one eyebrow cocked. She’s being deliberately obtuse and smirks. “Do you mean, am I overwhelmed with guilt for jumping out of Lance’s bed and into yours?”

I wince. “Ouch. When you say it like that…”

“Well, it’s exactly like that, except I hadn’t been in Lance’s bed in a while.”

I really don’t want to hear the details of her sex life with my brother, but I am gratefully accepting that it seemed their relationship was over before he slapped her. I think that was the catalyst to get her to move forward.

I turn to face Lara more fully. “You know… after you finished uni, when we had that night, I wanted you to know that wasn’t just a whim. I took it seriously. I did give a lot of thought to asking for more.”

She goes still but I can see the confusion on her face. I never gave her any such indication, claiming my need to focus on racing made a relationship impossible, and I know that’s got to be a shocking revelation.

“But?” she prompts.

“But I knew I couldn’t be what you needed,” I say.

“I was grinding every second to get noticed. I’d just transitioned from rally to FI3, which was a risky move.

Every day was either racing or networking or breaking my neck to find sponsorship money.

I was traveling, you were stationary. I was afraid I’d hurt you if I tried to do both and honestly, I couldn’t afford not to take the shot in racing.

I really wanted to build something with you, and didn’t like the idea of putting you second.

As we stand here right now, I’m having all kinds of regrets. ”

She offers me a sympathetic smile. “You were right to do that. I’m not sure I really understood it to that level back then. I mean, you said you had to focus on racing, but part of me thought maybe you just… didn’t want me.”

“I’ve always wanted you,” I say without hesitation. “Want wasn’t the problem.”

She tilts her head, studying the cityscape. Her tone is heavy with regret. “Then why did I end up with Lance?”

I hate the self-loathing I hear in her voice, but I can’t answer that. Not without sounding like I’m asking for something she’s not ready to give.

But she answers for me anyway.

“I think part of me wanted something simple. Familiar. I knew Lance as well as I knew you and he made it easy in the beginning. Charming, predictable. And it felt… safe.”

“You were close to him too,” I admit. That made it easy for her to get ensnared by my brother.

She nods. “Not in the way I was with you. But yeah. It wasn’t out of nowhere.”

There’s a pause. A long one.

“Maybe I settled,” she says. “Maybe I convinced myself that I could make that version of love work. That it was good enough.”

I don’t say anything, instead trying to ignore the flare of jealousy that rages through me that she loved Lance at one point.

She looks at me. “It wasn’t good enough for me.”

I slide my hand behind her neck, squeezing gently. “So are you sure that you don’t regret last night?”

She shakes her head. “No. Do you?”

“Not for a second.”

A soft smile pulls at her lips. “Then we don’t have to define it yet. We just… figure it out.”

“It’s a lot to figure out but I’m up for the challenge,” I say before brushing my mouth over hers.

There’s a knock on the hotel suite door.

“Did you order room service?” she asks.

“No,” I say, on alert wondering if somehow Lance found out where I’m staying. Lara follows me off the balcony through the suite but stands back as I check the peephole.

Fuck.

It’s Lara’s parents, Colin and Margot. I knew they were driving in last night so they could experience all of race day, but it’s bloody seven o’clock in the morning. I look over my shoulder and mouth the words, “It’s your parents.”

Lara’s eyes widen as she clutches the robe tightly at her throat. Her gaze flicks to the room we shared last night and then she wisely darts to the room she’s been using.

I take a deep breath, paste on a smile and open the suite door. Luckily, I’d donned a pair of shorts and a T-shirt after exiting the bed this morning. “Hey… wow. You’re up early.”

Margot beams. “Good morning! We figured we’d swing by before the race and knew you’d be up. Wanted to wish you luck today and I just need to give my daughter a hug.”

I step back and make a welcoming sweep, touched at how much Lara’s parents love her. “Of course… come on in. I think Lara’s getting changed. I heard her moving around a bit ago. Want some coffee?”

“Please,” Margo says as she goes to her tiptoes to brush a good-morning kiss on my cheek. I shake Colin’s hand.

By the time I’ve got three cups of coffee made on the fancy machine this suite affords, Lara emerges in leggings and a hoodie, barefoot but composed.

“Mum… Dad,” she says brightly, eyebrows high in faux surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“Hope we didn’t wake you,” Colin says, wrapping his daughter in a hug before she moves to Margot for the same.

She grins. “Not at all. We were up early.”

My eyes cut to her. We?

Her voice is calm. Her expression open.

She’s not hiding this.

But she’s not announcing it either.

Margot hands Lara a little velvet pouch. “I brought you something… just a silly charm I found yesterday in a little shop on the beach. For courage. Figured you could use a bit extra today.”

Lara clutches it like it’s the most precious thing she’s ever been given. “Thank you.”

“Are you going to open it?” Colin asks.

Lara beams a smile and loosens the drawstring, pulling out a silver bird with wings stretched in flight. Lara holds it up and Margot explains, “To remind you that you flew once before, and you’ll fly again.”

“I love it,” she murmurs, eyes cutting to me ever so subtly. “I’ll add it to my birthday charm bracelet Dad got me a few years ago.”

Colin’s chest puffs out in pride, but I can see deep down that small flicker of worry in his gaze.

I imagine this has been tough on him… his best friend’s son, hitting his daughter.

There’s no doubt where his loyalty lies, and if Lance doesn’t make this right with Colin, there’s going to be a dent in the entire friendship dynamic. But that’s a problem for another day.

“I think I’m going to hit the shower and head over to the track,” I say, gaze turning to Lara. “Why don’t you order breakfast and eat out on the balcony, do some catching up.”

Lara nods at me, her arm slipping around her mum’s waist. “That’s a great idea.”

As I head for the bedroom, Colin claps my shoulder. “Good luck today, Reid. You’ve got a hell of a lot of people cheering you on.”

I nod, meeting his gaze. “I’ll give them something to cheer for.”