Page 22 of Forgotten Vows

“I thought you said we’dnevergo there.”

Well, never say never…I exhaled slowly. “I did say that. But things have changed.”

We had been found. We’d been targeted. I was falsely seen as a loose link to the Dubinins. What hadn’t changed, though, wasthe status of my father potentially being a threat to our lives. More than anything, I wished I could have a chance to truly know whether Konstantin Petrov was dead, like I’d heard from rumors years ago.

Without a word and still watching the crowds, I tried to imagine what the Italian faction of the Rivera group could be planning to do with me. Or Lev. Whatever they were up to was a direct challenge to my efforts at peace, to be a nobody and left alone to raise my child.

No, this is all I can do.

I couldn’t do this alone anymore with those Italians showing up like that.

After I disposed of the gun, dropping it into the garbage outside the terminals, Lev and I got into our seats on the plane.

Only after we took off into the air did he speak up. “Mama?”

I wanted to cry at the fear and worry in his inquisitive tone.

I shook my head, squeezing his little hand tighter. “Not now,” I whispered. I owed him answers. I would share so much more with him to explain why we were flying to New York, why I was bringing him to a crime lord and his nephew, why I hid the fact that his father has been alive all this time and just didn’t want us.

Coming back to Ivan was literally my last resort. It was such a huge surrender and defeat that I had to concentrate on calming myself for the whole flight over the ocean.

I had to have a clear head to face him at all. This wouldn’t be a casual encounter. This would be a deliberate visit.

Thinking ahead to how this could play out, so many more questions popped into my head.

I wondered how he’d changed.

What he looked like.

If he was still with Serena or if he’d moved on to someone else.

No. Stop. That so doesnotmatter.

I had to catch myself from caring. I couldnotcare about who he was with and what was happening in his life.

All I would demand was his protection because he’d lost my heart years ago and there was no way he could get it back. Ever again.

I swore on it as I watched Lev sleep, slumped against me as we headed “home”.

Lev was all that mattered.

Nothing else.

Not my heart, not my soul that called to Ivan’s.

The only priority I could cling to and focus on was the safety of my son.

9

IVAN

Emil took off on his own flight from Italy, but I flew straight back to New York. The only pressing issues I had to look forward to were minor things, but I relished the chance to be busy. To preoccupy myself from thinking about Raisa. To avoid dwelling on this stupid jealousy as I witnessed Luka and Gabriella so happy together.

The plane landed without any complications, and I was out of the airport shortly. I’d come and gone on such a short notice that it almost seemed like I’d never even left at all. The goal of getting away for a change of scenery had fallen flat.

The city was still the same. The hustle and bustle and hurrying people all over the place were the same, too. And inside my heart and head, the longing for the woman I lost ached further.

A car was there for me in the parking lot, arranged via text when Emil and I contacted Luka to let him know we were coming back today. Well, I supposed that might not be true of Emil any longer, but he often called the shots in his schedule like that—impulsively to suit his needs. And clearly, throwing off that agent was a need.