Page 9

River

W e’re all silent for a moment.

“It’s interesting that Asael listened to Coen,” Raiden muses quietly.

“I think that there is a lot about this situation that is interesting,” Griff agrees thoughtfully.

“We should probably try to get some sleep. We have no idea what task is next. I really wish Neith got a few days to recover, but she’s not going to get that,” I frown.

Raiden frowns slightly, “That might be better to be honest. Whenever I have a massive panic attack, I like to be busy rather than allowing myself time to think about it. Staying busy and keeping my mind clear almost helps me to rest. I know that doesn’t make much sense.”

“I get that,” Reed agrees. “It gives you less time to think about it and more time for your brain to pack it away and heal a bit more gently without it being forced in your face all the time. I’m entirely unsure whether it’s healthy for you or not, but I’ve done it, and I will do it again.”

“Well, then I hope that Neith views it in the same way that you guys do,” Evander says, a worried frown on his face.

“If not then we will just have to be there in the best way that we can be despite the fact that we’re going through the Choosing,” Griff says firmly as if he’s daring us to argue with him, or maybe he’s daring the universe to argue because he knows that we won’t.

“Agreed,” we all reply.

My mind is spinning, and although I know that I should be able to get some sleep, and although we’ve all agreed that we should go to sleep, it’s a long time before any of us actually do.

All of us keep watch over our Neith to make sure that she really is okay and not going to wake up with a nightmare.

None of us is new to panic attacks, all of us experience them in some form, although Doc and Raiden are the only ones who still experience them with some regularity.

None of us has seen a panic attack that is quite like Neith’s, and although we are all curious about what happened, we can guess from what we witnessed in Neith’s last trial, and I think the only reason why we are remaining calm is because Neith needs us to.

And Coen said that Dimitri and he tore the fucker apart. So, he’s very much dead and no longer a threat to Neith.

Thank fuck.

Eventually, we all drift off, but judging from the amount of shuffling and sighs that I hear through the night, I don’t think any of us sleep very well.

Neith

W aking up surrounded by my guys is amazing, and I revel in the feel of having their arms wrapped around me.

Opening my mouth, Griff’s eyes connect with mine, as he says gently, “Don’t you dare apologize for any of that.”

My eyes widen slightly, “How the fuck did you know that I was going to apologize?”

“We’ve all been there,” Doc replies. He leans forward and kisses my head gently. “We get it, we all understand what it’s like, and we’ve all felt the need to apologize.”

I frown, “While I’m glad that you understand, I also hate that you understand.”

After a moment of silence, River asks, “Do you want to talk about it, or pretend it never happened until you’re ready to talk about it?”

I practically melt at the level of understanding that he’s showing me right now, and the fact that none of them are looking at me with any sort of expectation of an explanation.

I know that Coen most likely told them not to ask questions, but I still appreciate the fact that they’re listening to Coen’s advice and not asking questions anyway.

Dimitri.

I don’t remember much. It’s like looking back at a dream, or rather, a nightmare, and everything is just hazy, but I do know that nothing can bring me out of a panic attack that bad, apart from Coen and Dimitri singing to me, and I remember him speaking through Coen.

I need to talk to Coen about it, because he wasn’t freaked out or pissed and allowed Dimitri to share his head space.

Coen knows how to kick Dimitri out. Dimitri taught both Coen and me how to do it, which is why he’s never been able to get in my head.

Coen knows that, and yet, he didn’t kick him out, which tells me that something may have changed.

Hope soars, and I viciously push it back down.

It’s more likely that Coen used some sort of threat, or something, in order to get Dimitri to help me. It’s not likely that he wanted to help me of his own accord. Not that I have any idea how Coen would be able to do that, especially when he’s nowhere near Dimitri.

The problem with that theory is that I’m not likely to get a chance to talk to Coen and find out exactly what happened any time soon, and to be honest my nerves and my emotional wellbeing is currently shot to shit thanks to the humongous panic attack.

I feel like I have been through a wrestling match with a fucking t-rex, and a few of his friends, underwater, and somehow on fire too.

I have no idea how that would work, but that’s the most accurate description I have of what I feel like right now.

“Neith?” Reed asks, looking at me in concern.

“Shit sorry, I was in my own world,” I look back at River. “If it’s okay, can we do the second option? The pretend it didn’t happen until I’m ready to talk about it option?”

“Of course,” Doc replies with an understanding smile. He then promptly changes the subject, “Evander, Griff, and Ransom have all gone to get us some breakfast and coffee. We’re hoping that they get back before we’re pulled into a task. We have no idea whose it will be today.”

I nod, my eyebrows draw down slightly as I ask, “Shouldn’t you guys get back to your own rooms. You’re not supposed to be in here.”

“One, you needed us, so we’re here,” Raiden says, his hand squeezing mine. He adds, “And just in case you hadn’t realized, no rule or consequence would ever stop us from being there for you when you need us.”

“He’s right,” Griff replies as he walks back into the room with the others, all three of them carrying trays of food.

“Thank you,” I reply softly, because I have no idea what else to say to that apart from thank you.

“I think that the staff here must somehow just know things, or maybe the castle shares things with them,” Ransom adds, as he places the tray of mugs on the side and immediately hands me one.

“You’re my favorite for today,” I tease with a smile, and his eyes light up as he grins proudly and sticks his middle finger up at the others.

They all promptly tell him to fuck off and then conversation turns back to what he said.

“What do you mean?” River asks, handing me a pastry that has chocolate in it.

I immediately stuff it in my mouth, I’m so fucking hungry.

That’s not really surprising though, I always am after I have a panic attack and that was a big fucking panic attack.

I practically inhale the first one, and River immediately hands me another one, smiling proudly when I take it and carry on eating.

“Mabel and a couple of the other staff members were waiting outside of the dining hall or whatever it’s called, for us with the trays of food,” Van explains.

“Either they knew, or they watched it too and realized that there was no way that we would leave you all by yourself after that, and decided that we would probably want to eat in here,” Raiden points out.

“Yeah, that’s true. She did say that there was no need for the Draconian team to know where your room was. Which means she knows that we’re in here,” Griff adds.

“How many days have we got left now?” I ask. “So much has happened, and what with getting woken up in the middle of the night for tasks and all of that, I have no idea what day it is or how long we have been here for.”

“Erm, that’s a really good question,” Griff replies with a slight frown as he tries to work it out, and since none of the others are immediately chiming in with the right answer, I’m going to assume that none of us have any idea what day it is and how long we have been here.

Doc frowns, “I think we’ve been here for two days, this is the third day, so we’ve got two trials left after today, and then Saturday is a rest day, and then it’s judgement day, and the scroll telling us that Neith is going to be on our team.”

“And whatever else comes with that, Ty said more magic, which is pretty fucking cool,” River grins.

“I love how confident you all are that I’m going to be on your team,” I say.

Immediately, I have seven guys frowning at me.

“You don’t think you will be?” Griff asks curiously, his head tilted slightly to the side.

I think about my answer carefully, wanting to make sure that I word it right, “I hope that I will be, but Kylen has proven himself to be more powerful than he should be, look at the way that he’s able to control Coen. You guys know Coen, surely you know that he’s stronger than he should be?”

They share a look, and I know that they all agree with me.

“Yeah, you’re right, and that’s why it’s so worrying that Kylen has managed to get him under his control. I agree with that, but he won’t be able to do that with you,” Evander says.

“One, you don’t know that, and two, I’m not actually worried about that, I don’t think that Kylen has any desire to control me,” I reply, as my mind moves back to the first task and how he behaved.

“What do you mean?” Raiden asks curiously.

“I think he wants to kill me,” I reply bluntly. “I am also not entirely certain that it was his idea.”

“You mean that someone has got to him and is using him to try to kill you?” Reed frowns, anger flashing in his eyes.

I nod, “Yeah. To me, it’s the only thing that really makes sense. He’s not trying to get me on his team, in fact, by not helping me in the first task, he pretty much ensured that the scroll wasn’t going to put me on his team, and he shouted and told the creature where I was.”