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JACKSON

That was not how I expected my first date with Rosie Taylor to go. I thought I’d go over, bring her some wine, eat some good food and preferably end the evening with her legs wrapped around my head.

Instead, she dropped a veritable bomb.

Pregnant.

I’ve never considered having children, never considered settling down full stop. I’m happy being the fun uncle to my sisters’ kids, meeting beautiful women and enjoying their company, before heading back to my condo and getting into my own bed. I have a pretty perfect life.

But almost as soon as the words came out of Rosie’s mouth and echoed around her quaint kitchen, that perfect life I imagined for myself changed instantly.

I’ve always been safe, always double bagged, even going so far as to pull out when I get paranoid. My sister got pregnant at seventeen and I saw how her life changed instantly. It was enough to make me triple sure there were no eighteen-year consequences for one night of fun .

But Rosie was different. I was too in the moment, too lost in her big blue eyes, her soft curves, and her tight pussy to even consider any consequences.

And they sure caught up with me.

The date I had envisioned changed from lust-filled flirting to practical planning pretty quickly after the news.

I left with a gentle kiss on her cheek and a promise to call her the next day after work.

With nothing to do other than think and plan, as soon as I get back to my hotel I open the notes app on my phone and start a list.

Doctors Appointments

Live where?

Names

Tell Mum??

That last one makes my stomach twist. Gloria Harper had a meltdown when my little sister Ella announced she was pregnant. Well, she was just shy of seventeen. I’m a grown man. It’s natural for a man my age to settle down, have a family.

The settling down might come as more of a shock than the baby news.

I’m getting ahead of myself. We’re not even in a relationship, despite my best efforts.

I can’t tell my mum but I can probably get away with speaking to my sister.

My phone is in my hand before I can talk myself out of it.

“Hi Jackie,” Ella’s chipper voice echoes down the line, slightly out of breath. “What’s up?”

I take a seat on the bed in my room, running my hand through my hair as I ask, “Why does something have to be up to call my favorite sister? Where are you? ”

I can hear a loud rustle on the other end of the line followed by a yelp.

“Don’t ask. Nina’s fostered another dog. But it was following her around and tripping her up so she handed me the leash and told me to go for a run. So that’s what I’m doing.”

I huff a laugh. “And Cody?” I ask, referring to my nephew. “Is he banished too?”

“No, he’s been playing that new game you got him for hours, so he’s not even left his room.”

My twelve year old nephew is a quiet one.

It’s hard to get him to say more than twenty words each time I see him.

Nothing like the rambunctious toddler I used to carry around on my shoulders.

I figured early on that bribery will get me everywhere, hence the copy of Lanes 7 that I managed to get on pre-release.

Perks of the job.

“Right, I’ve had enough of this, I hate running. Why did I agree to this?”

“Because you love your wife.” I reply.

“Ugh, not right now. So, why are you calling again?”

I clear my throat. “Do you uh, remember when you got pregnant with Cody?”

“Uh, yeah it’s kind of hard to forget the birth of my one and only child, Jackie.”

“What do you…” I start with no idea what I actually need from her. “What did you do?”

There’s silence on the other end and it causes me to wince.

“Jackson,” Ella says quietly. “Why do you want to know?”

“Uhm,” I muse, in what I hope is a convincing tone.

“Jackson Harper.” My sister repeats, more firmly.

“What!” I exclaim, “Am I not allowed to ask? ”

“About events from thirteen years ago? You’re allowed to ask but I’m allowed to ask why.”

“Y’know what? Forget I said anything, forget we had this conversation.”

I could hang up, but I don’t. Instead I listen to the dead air, and occasional yap from Nina’s new puppy.

Finally, Ella sighs. “Fine, I’ll drop it for now.”

“Thank you,” I say, pulling at my beard.

“Yeah, yeah. Listen, I’m nearly home now and I have to get this one inside, so I have to go.”

“Okay,” I say. “Say hi to everyone for me.”

“I will. Jackie?” she asks.

“Hmm?”

“Is she okay?”

I nod my head even if she can’t see me. “Yeah.” I let out a long breath as a smile tugs at my mouth. “Yeah, she’s fucking amazing.”

I hear Ella’s smile through the phone.

“Okay, next time you call me I want a real update,” she announces.

I huff a laugh, “You got it.”

Well I don’t know what I wanted to get from that conversation, and I can’t tell if I got it.

I can’t tell them yet, even if Ella now basically knows. I don’t know if Rosie wants to tell anyone, if we even can tell anyone. Don’t they say to wait a few months?

Why? Why do they say that? God, I literally know nothing. I dipped out of Ella’s pregnancy, only reappearing when Cody was old enough to be entertaining.

I pull up the search on my phone and start adding books to my cart. I can’t remember the last time I read a physical book, but at least it feels like doing something.

I click checkout after I’ve added enough books to fill a small pregnancy and early years library and rest my phone face down on the bed.

I stare at the wall for a few seconds before picking up the phone again, pulling up Rosie’s text chain. The messages from my wooing attempt stare at me. God, was that just a few hours ago that I was flirting with her? The girl I still can’t get out of my head? The mother of my child?

Without thinking too quickly, I type out a message.

ME

Thank you for telling me

I see the bubble pop up before disappearing a few times.

ROSIE

Of course, I wouldn’t have ever kept this from you.

ME

I know, I just meant thank you for

My hands hover over the screen. I don’t know what I’m thanking her for. The baby? I erase the message and try again.

ME

I know you wouldn’t have pretty girl

How are you feeling?

ROSIE

Good, craving a ham sandwich

ME

Get one

ROSIE

I don’t even eat meat! Plus no processed meat allowed according to the internet.

ME

Damn

I’ll eat one for you

ROSIE

My hero

ME

What else are you craving?

(That’s acceptable, safe and legal)

ROSIE

Ha nothing yet but I’ll let you know

ME

Please do

ROSIE

Yesterday I really wanted salted caramel ice cream

It takes me less than two minutes to open a food delivery app, and I send her the screenshot of the confirmation.

Rosie

You didn’t just do that!

Me

Anything you want pretty girl, I told you that

My phone doesn’t leave my hand for the rest of the evening. I barely manage to brush my teeth and text with one hand. This girl.

It’s later, when I’m just climbing into bed, that the picture comes in. It’s her curled up in a big sweatshirt, glasses perched on her nose and a smile hiding behind a pint of ice cream.

The grin that splits my face makes my cheeks hurt. I save the photo and make it her contact picture.