Page 53 of Forever Then
“She passed out,” my brother adds as he takes a seat.
He wraps an arm around her, her head falling naturally to his shoulder.
“I called 911, they loaded her in an ambulance. It was a whole ordeal. They knew right away that her fallopian tube had ruptured so they rushed her into surgery as soon as we got here. ”
I swipe away the tears I didn’t even realize were falling until one lands on Reagan’s hospital blanket. I look to Connor who stands with arms crossed over his chest. Face grave and clouded with sympathy.
“I’m so glad you’re okay. Thank God the doctor saw you early and caught it.”
Reagan’s breath shudders, gaze fixed on where her husband squeezes their palms together. Drew’s eyes transform, only a little, but the sadness is heavier now than it was a few moments ago and something about the shift gives me pause.
I tilt my head at him. He looks from me down to Reagan who gives an acquiescent nod.
“The doctor had us come in early because we’ve…been in a similar situation before. Not exactly like this, thank God, but it’s not our first loss.”
Reagan buries her face in my brother’s shoulder, my own tears falling unabashedly now as Connor paces the room, hands clasped at the back of his neck.
“So, you’ve—” I stop myself, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ask, it’s not my business.”
“It’s okay. We probably should start telling people. I’ve…um…had three miscarriages before this.” Her shoulders slump, weighed down by shame and guilt.
“Sweetheart, don’t.” Drew lifts her chin. “You’ve done nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with you.” Her body shrinks on a quiet sob and he kisses her forehead. His lips move to her ear, whispering a quiet “I love you so much” only meant for her.
After Drew and Reagan’s emotional tell-all, they insisted we drop the subject and move on to happier topics.
When the doctor came in to do a check-up, Connor and I ducked out to grab lunch. We arrived back to Reagan’s room thirty minutes later with a spread of greasy burgers, fries, sodas and milkshakes .
“I wanna hear about the trip,” my brother says once we’re all settled in our respective seats with our food.
I look to Connor who gives me a this is all you shoulder shrug.
Pivoting back to Drew, I gulp down my mouth full of fries and answer, “It was fun. We hiked Devil’s Bridge, shopped around Sedona.” I avert my eyes. “Spent some time up in Flagstaff.”
Drew’s attention darts between Connor and me. “And?”
He’s already intuited that the trip was more than just a birthday celebration. I know he wants answers and I did promise them to him, but this is not the time or place.
“And,” I drag out the word, searching for something to add.
“Oh, we had a pool day,” Connor interjects. “It was hot as balls, bro.”
Drew’s curious gaze lands back on me and I give him a look that I hope conveys that I hear him and promise to tell him everything soon. It seems to work because he stops pushing. “I’m glad you had a good time.”
Drew’s phone buzzes beside him, a welcome disruption, and he quickly reaches for it. “Mom and Dad are boarding their flight in Rome and want to know if we can meet for lunch day after tomorrow. You in?”
I nod as I lift my burger to my mouth.
“I can bring something back for you,” Drew says to Reagan who, though she’ll be discharged tomorrow, will need to take it easy for the next couple of weeks. “Is that okay?”
Her mood has lifted since we moved past the heavy start to our visit. While I’m sure grief will idle under the surface of all that badassery for a long time to come, if there’s anyone I know who can face this and come out stronger on the other side, it’s Reagan.
She agrees and Drew types back a quick reply. Fingers moving over his screen, he adds, “You’re invited, too.”
Connor looks up. He scans the room as though there’s anyone else here that my brother could be referring to. “Me?”
“Yeah, now that Mom knows you went on the trip instead of me, she wants to hear about everything from both of you.”
Connor’s agreement is a foregone conclusion and I can’t help but smile because that definitely sounds like my mother. I find his gaze amidst the sound of crinkling burger wrappers, slurping straws and jostling paper bags.
It’s merely a flicker of a moment, but he pounces. Smirk on display, the guy winks at me.
With a quiet huff, I immediately stuff my trash into one of the paper bags, making to leave. In protest that nobody except Connor is attuned to, I grab his half-empty fry box, throw it in with the rest of the trash and pretend not to hear his grumblings over not being finished.
A phone pings behind me, followed by Reagan’s voice. “My mom’s on her way up. She brought me a change of clothes.”
Perfect timing.
“We’ll get out of your hair then,” I offer as I collect all the remaining trash.
“Oh damn!” Drew shrieks. All heads in the room turn. “I wasn’t even thinking. Gretch, where are you staying? Did you get a hotel?” He reaches for his wallet. “Here, take my credit card.”
“What? Drew, stop. It’s fine. I’m staying with Connor.” Matter of fact. Nothing to be worried about. This is totally normal.
Drew hesitates and then looks at his best friend.
“It’s fine, man. She can stay with me as long as she needs,” Connor says. His voice sounds much more natural than mine.
“But you don’t have a?—”
“I’m sleeping on the couch, she has the bedroom. Everything’s fine.”
The lie doesn’t go down as easy with me as it seems to for Connor, but I know it’s unavoidable in this moment.
“Yeah, right,” Drew acquiesces. “Thanks, man.”
We pass Reagan’s mom in the hallway on our way out and exchange quick hugs before going our separate ways. When Connor and I finally settle into the elevator and the doors close, we both let out a breath of relief.
Pinned on opposite sides, we’re as far apart as two people can be in a space this small. I rake my teeth across my bottom lip as I recount the last exchange with my brother. It was all a lie .
Chewing on my thumbnail, I worry that single deception will make things worse when Connor finally tells him. My phone pings in my pocket. I grab it and swipe up to view the text.
Connor
Stop it.
My previous mental spiral fades into the rearview in an instant.
Me
Buzzkill
Connor
Beautiful
Me
Can I help you?
Connor
Needed to see you smile.
Me
Mission accomplished.
Thank you.
Connor
There’s something else.
A question, actually.
Me
I’m a woman with answers.
I chance a glance his way, but his chin is dropped to his chest, eyes intent on his screen. At last, he lifts his gaze to me from under hooded lashes a beat before my phone pings.
Connor
How about that date?