Page 8 of Forever His (The Donovans: Secret Son #6)

Tia

Los Angeles

“This was perfect,” Tia said as she held Trent’s hand and they walked along the beach. “Surprising me by picking me up from my meetings downtown and taking me to Philippe’s for dinner. Just perfect.”

The weather was also cooperating as in the two days that they had been back from Vegas, it had rained persistently. Today had been clear and now, this evening as they walked and enjoyed the sea air, it was warm but comfortable.

“I know how much you love that turkey dip sandwich,” he replied. “Even though another woman might think I was taking the cheap route by going there in lieu of a fancy five-star restaurant.”

Tia shook her head, wisps of her hair falling free from the messy ponytail she wore to scrape along her face.

With her free hand she pushed a few strands back behind her ear.

“I’m not any other woman,” she said. “And Philippe’s is a great spot.

It’s our spot now since I notice you try to take me there or you bring me food from there at least once a month. ”

“A happy wife is a happy life,” he quipped.

Tia smiled and lay her head on his shoulder as they continued.

It was then that she thought about how quiet he’d been since they’d returned.

They’d landed in Vegas on Saturday and spent the day with Beverly and Henry in their suite.

On Sunday, she and Trent had driven out to his parents’ house to survey the damage.

She’d hated the pain she could see so clearly etched across Trent’s face.

Her hand had remained in his as he gripped it tightly when walking around the property.

The beautiful home that had once stood there was now a skeleton of burnt wood and collapsing frame.

All of that would be demolished sometime next week, Trent had told her.

His father wanted to have the property immediately cleared so that they could sell it.

Hearing Trent say that almost broke Tia’s heart because she could have sworn his voice had caught as he spoke.

Later that day Jade and Camille had cooked a mountain of food at Adam and Camille’s house, so Henry, Beverly, Tia, Trent and Trevor went over there.

It had been good to see Trevor playing with his cousins.

While Tia and Trent didn’t live that far away, Trevor still didn’t have the opportunity to see and play with children his age that were family on a daily basis.

Tia hated that because she remembered how lonely she sometimes felt as an only child.

She lifted her free hand to her flat stomach then and rubbed.

“Tia,” Trent said her name quietly. “I want to talk to you about this baby thing.”

Lifting her head from his shoulder Tia started straight ahead at seagulls that were flying low, looking for something to eat in the rolling tide. She took a deep breath and released it slowly.

“When I was putting Trevor to bed last night he asked if he were ever going to have a brother or sister. He said that Torian and Tamala were sisters and Jordan and Josiah were brothers. You should have heard him Trent, it broke my heart,” she recalled.

Trent squeezed her hand.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen with Bailey or with my parents.” Trent began and then stopped.

When Tia looked at him, a muscle in his jaw was twitching. The fact that she could see it through the light, expertly barbered beard he now wore, was telling.

“You don’t think we should have another baby,” she said even though the words were painful to hear out loud.

He looked toward the water, then to her.

“I don’t know how smart it is to bring a child into such a volatile situation,” he stated solemnly. “The timing is just not right. I can barely focus on work with Bailey missing. My parents might be on the brink of divorce and there’s a crazy woman out for my family’s blood.”

“Do you remember the first time we made love?” she asked impulsively.

Tia did. Every second of that tumultuous night, came back to her mind clearly on command. That night had been a pivotal point for her, just as she suspected this moment was going to have that same effect on her marriage.

Trent nodded. “I do.”

“I was on the edge that night, Trent. I was broken-hearted and angry. I’d even contemplated suicide.”

Her words stopped him immediately, and Trent looked down at her, his brow furrowed. “You did what? You never told me that.”

She shrugged. “No. I didn’t. The thought had been in mind that entire day.

I knew it was there, waiting for me to make a decision.

All I had to do was decide and I would have been dead.

That’s why I really asked you to stay that night, because alone and experiencing a pain that I thought was inescapable, my decision was close to being yes. ”

“Baby, please don’t tell me that,” he said cupping the back of her head and pulling her close to him.

Trent hugged her tightly and Tia held onto him with every ounce of strength she possessed.

“I just want you to know that you…us, this thing we have, saved me from that,” she continued as she pulled back to look up at him. “I didn’t know which way to go or if I could even manage to get there on my own, but then you showed up and everything changed, Trent.”

“Everything did change, Tia. It did for me too.”

He looked like he was trying to say something else, fighting with it but knowing it needed to be said. Tia wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it, but she knew it wasn’t going to do any good for him to hold it in.

“You can say it, Trent. It’s okay. We can tell each other anything, remember we decided that a long time ago.”

He nodded.

“I’m afraid of losing you, Tia. I know that sounds crazy coming from me, especially remembering how tough I was on you the night of Jade’s baby shower when you were breaking down.

I know I was the one to tell you that you had to fight and you had to look forward and keep the past in its place.

But Tia, I just don’t know now,” he said.

His hands had gone tighter around her waist where they’d settled and she could feel how tense his body was at the moment.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” Tia said on instinct, not because she had any insight into the future. “I’m here with you and with Trevor.”

“Yeah, just like a week ago Bailey was in her apartment in Greenwich feeding that bird that squawked and cursed at anyone who walked through the door. She was working on two cases for D&D, a computer hacking scheme and a company who thought three of its employees were colluding in a worker’s compensation claim.

She’s still young, Tia. She has a life in front of her, one with possibly a husband and kids. Don’t you think she deserves that?”

“I do,” Tia answered.

“And my parents, look at them. Have you ever seen them look so desolate? I haven’t!” Trent yelled and pulled away from her.

“Roslyn Ausby is orchestrating a take-down of our family. She’s systematically attacking each of us in a way that’s designed to tear us a part in the most painful way possible.

She could have just killed my father if that’s where her pain solely lay.

Hell, she could have killed him, Al and Bernard, long before any of us were even born.

But that’s not her plan, ultimate pain and suffering is.

What happens when part of her plan lands on our doorstep? ”

“It won’t,” Tia said with a definite shake of her head. “It won’t, Trent, because you won’t let it. You’ll stop her. I know you will.”

“Stop her? I can’t even find the psycho bitch!”

Tia jumped at his words this time because she’d never heard Trent talk this away about another human being.

Sure, she was certain when he was a SEAL and out on some super-secret mission that he said worse, especially on missions with Devlin.

But she’d never heard it. He never talked to her about those assignments and since he left the military after she found out she was pregnant with Trevor and opened the PI firm, he didn’t talk about those cases either.

It was a world he wanted to keep her and Trevor away from, he’d said and she’d respected that.

Now, she wished she had a better idea of the emotional stress these occupations had apparently caused her husband.

He’d turned away from her then and she knew it was because he didn’t want her to see him this way. Tia went to her husband and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her face against his back.

“We’re going to get through this,” she said. “Life’s not easy, Trent. But the strong, the fighters, we survive. We’ll survive this and we’ll go on.”

“I’m not going to stop until I find her. I won’t rest and I won’t be able to focus on living until she’s behind bars or dead. Having a baby now,” he paused and Tia fought back tears.

“I just don’t know, Tia. That’s the honest truth, baby. I just don’t know.”

Trent

That hadn’t gone the way Trent planned.

He’d wanted to tell Tia all of his fears and make her understand that having a baby right now wasn’t the right thing to do. Now was not the time. Rather, he didn’t know when the right time would ever be.

That’s not how his words came out and for that he was pissed with himself.

Moreso now because Tia was too quiet. They’d walked back from the beach hand-in-hand, but neither of them spoke another word.

She was probably angry with him. No, then she wouldn’t have held his hand.

Tia did not pull any punches, when she was angry, there was no debating that fact.

Still, she wasn’t acting like herself either.

Once in the house she mumbled something about checking her email and then grabbing a shower. Trent wanted to check his messages as well to see if Dev had found anything. He also felt the need to see his son.