Page 24

I know I should have responded to Jacob. He’s texted me every morning for weeks, and it was a relief to see that text. Nothing has changed. Except …

The L-word.

So I didn’t respond. I needed time to think. To look at our situation both objectively and subjectively. I deal best with facts and numbers. Matters of the heart are neither of those things, which means I’m definitely out of my element here.

I figured I’d wait until after his game this evening and explain myself. I even made notes to help me stay on topic.

And then my stupid brother showed up.

I opened the door because I assumed it was someone in the building. How my brother managed to bypass the security team downstairs beats me. I’m not even sure how he knew where Jacob lived. But as soon as I opened the door, he barreled inside.

“Got yourself a nice one, Rebecca,” he sneers.

“Why are you here, Rodney? You have to know I’ve blocked you. I thought you would have gotten the message by now,” I answer, irritation evident in my tone. I tossed and turned all night, then snapped at poor Thunder this morning when my patience ran out. A long day at work followed, and I’m desperate to take a long bath before I collapse in bed.

“I don’t think you understand how this is going to work, Rebecca. I don’t care what you want or how you think. I only care about business. And you’re fucking with that now, you little bitch. Now get your shoes on, because you’re coming back home and doing what I tell you to do!” Spittle flies from Rodney’s mouth as his face reddens with each word. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this angry before. Aggravated? Yes. Frustrated? Of course. But the absolute disgust emanating from him is new.

“No,” I whisper, slowly sliding my foot backwards so I’m a few inches further away from him.

Rodney’s eyes narrow. “What did you just say to me?”

“You heard me,” I stammer, clearing my throat so my voice is louder. “I said no. I’m not marrying some crony you and Dad wanted me to marry, just to align two families. Besides, I’m already married.”

“I can easily get that annulled.”

“You can only annul a marriage that hasn’t been consummated. Mine has,” I tell him. I honestly have no idea if that’s actually true, but they say it in television shows, so I’m running with it. There are probably a bunch of other reasons a marriage can be annulled, but seeing as how I’ve never had to research it, I really don’t know.

“Just had to whore yourself out, didn’t you?” he hisses.

“I’m not a whore!” I shout, outraged. How dare he! I didn’t sleep with Jacob until we were already married.

“Well, you aren’t telling anyone about it, alright? Ben and Dick think you’re a virgin.”

I stare at him incredulously. “You can’t be serious. I’m thirty-three, Rodney. They have to know I’ve had sex.”

His hand whips out before I realize, and he slaps me harshly across the cheek. Rodney immediately follows the slap with a swift punch to my abdomen, and I double over in pain as I fight to catch my breath. He’s never punched me before. “If they think you’re a virgin, then you agree. Understood?”

Two things happen at once. First, the doorbell rings, jarring our attention. As Rodney turns to look at the door, Thunder takes the opportunity to leap toward us, latching onto Rodney’s groin. Rodney screams, but Thunder doesn’t let go. “Get this thing off of me!”

Sidestepping my brother, I sprint to the door. Opening it, I find two uniformed police officers.

“Ma’am. We got a call about a man in here without consent.”

I point to Rodney. “My dog has him.”

The cops both wince when they see how Thunder holds Rodney in place. “Damn. Never met a truly vicious golden retriever before.”

“He’s not. He does protect me though, and jumped into action when he hit me.”

“The man hit you?” I nod. “Would you like to press charges?”

I stare at my brother, writhing in pain on the floor. “Yes. Yes, I would. He punched me in the stomach, too.”

“No, Rebecca. You don’t understand! You have to marry Richard. We owe the Gaines Family millions, and they’re only willing to forgive the debt if you marry him,” Rodney blurts out.

“So I’m some kind of collateral?”

“Yes.”

“How is Mom okay with this? I know I wasn’t the closest with Dad, but I never thought Mom would just sell me up the river like that,” I wonder aloud as I pull Thunder away from Rodney.

He cups his balls and groans. “Mom doesn’t give a fuck about you. You could die and she wouldn’t care.”

“That’s an awful thing to say about our mother!” I whisper-shout.

He gives me a vicious smile. “She’s not your mother.”

Three hours later, after following the police to the precinct to officially press a variety of charges against Rodney, I arrive back at Jacob’s apartment in a daze. Rodney had no problem telling the officers about our family dynamic, and how I came to be. Our father had many affairs, and evidently I was the product of one of them. My birth mother was part of a housekeeping company that worked on cleaning buildings before my father listed them for sale. She didn’t tell him about me until she decided to drop me at his door and run.

I was originally given to a nanny until DNA testing could confirm I was indeed another offspring. This explains my mother’s cold and callous relationship with me from the get-go. I was only acceptable when I could bring success to the family. Now that my dad is dead, she has no other reason to be nice to me, especially with my refusal to marry someone they’d picked out for me.

I look around the empty apartment, and I know I’m two seconds away from a breakdown. I miss Jacob, and I desperately need him right now. With Rodney now behind bars, will he even want to stay married to me? I might lose everything.

I hear a slight squeal, and on auto pilot, I go to the fridge and grab a bag of vegetables to feed the pigs. As soon as I enter their room, their happy sounds make me even more depressed. I slowly feed them, then collapse in the chair in the corner as tears fall from my eyes. Soon I’m fully bawling, and I don’t realize I never shut the door completely until Thunder jumps into my lap. I bury my face in his fur as big, gut-wrenching sobs break from my body. I’ve never felt so alone.

“Baby, answer your phone,” I hear muffled from somewhere in the room.

“What?” I ask, sniffling as I wipe my nose with my sleeve.

“Answer your phone, darlin’.”

The phone vibrates in my pocket, and upon pulling it out, I see I have ten missed calls and a bunch of unread texts, all from Jacob.

“Hi,” I whisper, afraid to say anything else.

“Did he hurt you?” Jacob demands. “Why were you at the police station? Where is the little cocksucker? I should have flown home. As soon as I got the notification he was there, I should have flown home.”

“Wait. What? What notification? And how did you know I was at the police station?” I ask, pushing Thunder off my lap so I can sit up straight.

“Fuck,” Jacob mutters. “The building notified me a man had been cleared to go up to our apartment by a new security trainee. Your brother said he was my brother, and naturally the security guy let him up. I made sure the team fired that guy, since I don’t have a brother, and I have a very clear list of who is allowed up to my apartment. Honestly, I’m so fucking thankful we’ve got a doorbell camera, Spitfire. I about had a heart attack when I saw him get through the door.”

“Okay,” I answer slowly. “And the police station?”

Jacob sighs. “You’re gonna hate this.”

“Answer the question, Jacob.”

“I track your location.” It’s a simple response, and one I expected when he knew where I’d been. But I’m still pissed.

“Why didn’t you just ask? I would have let you follow my location. Why be dishonest about it?”

“Technically, I wasn’t dishonest about it. I just wasn’t honest either.” I hear the remorse in his voice. “I’m sorry, darlin’. I should have told you. Does it help if I say that you can track my location too?”

“If you think I’m going to let this go because of that trivial technicality, you’re mistaken,” I say angrily.

“FaceTime, please. If we’re going to argue, I need to see your face,” Jacob says quietly. The phone beeps in my ear as he requests a video call, and I find myself growling as I accept it. His expression is murderous as he stares at me. “Fuck, Spitfire. He hit you again?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“The fuck it doesn’t!”

“He’s in jail now, so it really doesn’t matter. I pressed charges and got a restraining order. Also for him entering your apartment without my consent.”

“Our.”

“Huh?”

“Our apartment, darlin’. Quit saying it’s only mine,” Jacob says clearly.

“But it is only yours.”

“No, it’s not. The moment you said you’d marry me, my apartment became ours. The kiss we shared after we were declared husband and wife made it really ours. And when I finally got to bury myself between your thighs and make love to you? It’s our fucking apartment, Becca. Moving on. Why was your brother there?”

“Don’t you already know? I just assumed you had a hidden camera somewhere,” I say snottily, but my heart beats erratically in my chest after Jacob says it’s our apartment.

He sighs again, exhaustion evident on his handsome face as he rubs his eyes. “I already told you I only have the one in the pigs room. There aren’t any others. All I know is he was there, and then you went to the police station. I looked up flights, trying to find something so I could get home to you, but there was nothing. I fucking hate that you dealt with this all by yourself, but I’m freaking out here, baby. Please just tell me what happened.”

For a moment, I’m taken aback. I hadn’t considered how this must feel from Jacob’s perspective. He’s so far away, and he knows my volatile brother has shown up here. That had to have scared the hell out of him. “I’m sorry, Jacob. I can’t imagine how that must have made you feel.”

His eyes close as he takes a deep inhale. When he opens his eyes again, the pain I see breaks my heart. “I’ve never been so scared, Becca. I couldn’t do anything, and I was supposed to be on the ice. Coach pulled me again.”

“Again?”

He nods. “I was a mess last night. I knew why you were avoiding me, and it had me completely off my game.”

“You knew why I was avoiding you?” I parrot, wondering if he really does know.

He chuckles bitterly. “I told you I’m in love with you, and you had sheer panic written across your face. I figured I’d act like nothing happened, but I didn’t get a chance because you avoided me.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

He shrugs. “Nothing to be sorry for. If you don’t feel the same, it’s not your fault. In any case, explain what happened with your brother.”

“Wait. No — that’s not what I meant. You’ve been full speed from the moment we met, and I’ve been trying to catch up. I’ve only recently gotten my head wrapped around us being married, and then you drop the L-word. I didn’t know how to process that.”

He glances between my eyes, searching for something he doesn’t seem to get when he sighs roughly. “Where does this leave us?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, nerves making me grip the cushion under my legs tightly.

“We got married to keep you safe from your brother. It sounds like you don’t need that anymore. What do you want, Becca?”

I take a moment before responding, trying to think of how to explain my thoughts. “I want to be happy. To feel needed. To have a family that actually wants me, instead of the crappy people who were forced to deal with me all my life. I want a partner who supports me and builds me up. And I want to be with someone who is proud of me, but also someone who isn’t embarrassed by me.”

“Has someone ever made it blatantly obvious that they were embarrassed by you?” Jacob asks quietly.

I shrug, looking down at Thunder, who snores softly in my lap. “Other than family? No. But I’m sure a boyfriend or two would have preferred I dialed down the nerd in some situations.”

“But your family did get embarrassed by you?”

“Yeah,” I whisper. “I asked a lot of questions growing up. I always wanted to know the dynamics of things. How everything worked. Interpersonal communication was never a strength of mine, and it took forever for me to learn how to interact in social situations. My brother and father commented often how I’d unwittingly embarrassed them.”

“You could never embarrass me, Becca,” Jacob whispers, his voice somehow quiet, yet deep and clear at the same time. “Never. I’m in awe of you. You’re absolutely brilliant, and I love when you talk weather to me. I hate that your family failed you, and that they never appreciated you for the exquisite person you are.”

His words steal the breath from my lungs, and when I finally manage an inhale, a fresh wave of tears escapes simultaneously.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“I miss you,” I ramble. “I don’t like being here alone. The bed is too big, and your pillow doesn’t smell like you anymore. I can tell the pigs miss you too. I’m so scared, Jacob.”

“Of what?” he asks softly.

“That you’ll realize I’m nothing special, and you’ll demand a divorce when I’m only now realizing how much you mean to me. And that’s even worse, because I’ve always been independent. You have so much power, and I’m afraid I won’t survive it when you move on.”

“Becca, I’m in love with you. I love you. There is no moving on from you. I’m scared shitless you want to end this because you don’t need me anymore,” he confesses, his eyes covered with a sheen of tears. “I’ve been researching ways to take down your family all fucking day, in some weird attempt to keep you with me. I figured if I saved the day by ensuring you didn’t have to marry that weirdo friend of the family, then you’d want to stay with me.”

“You want to take down my family?” I ask, shock evident in my tone.

“Of course I do! Those heinous fuckers deserve what’s coming to them. They’ve put you through hell, darlin’, and I’ll be damned if I just sit back and let them continue doing it.”

“What exactly are you planning to do?” I can’t help the smile that begins to form on my face. I’ve never had a man fight for me, and while I’m sure it’s not very feminist of me to say, I find that I really like it. A lot.

Jacob chuckles as he runs a hand through his curls. “I have nothing to report. Yet. But I’m working on some things. Just know your brother will most likely be extradited back to Indiana for much bigger charges. He’s not very smart. Did you know that? You, my lovely wife, definitely got all the brains from your parents.”

“When are you coming home?” I blurt out, unwilling to acknowledge the comment about my parents. I don’t even know who my mother is. The woman who ‘raised’ me will not get one more moment of my time.

“We have a game in Miami tomorrow night, and then I’ll be home the day after tomorrow. Mid-morning, I think. Are you going to be okay?”

New tears fill my eyes. “I don’t really have a choice. I’ll be fine.”

“Darlin’ …” he says quietly. “Talk to me. Please.”

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. There are so many things I want to tell him. I need to be honest and tell him that I think I love him too. But I’m so scared. Every man in my life has scarred me emotionally. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“If you’re sure you love me, does that mean you want to stay married?”

Jacob’s lips twitch as he fights a smile. “I do want to stay married to you.”

“Okay,” I say as I exhale in relief. “That makes me feel better.”

“You were worried?” he asks.

I nod. “You wouldn’t need to protect me anymore. I didn’t know if you’d want the responsibility of a wife.”

“Baby. You’re not a responsibility. You bring things to my life that are unmatched. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we met, and I find myself wondering what you’d think about stupid shit all the time. When I’m near you, my heartbeat slows down, and I don’t feel as anxious. I’m scared shitless that you’ll realize you don’t need me, and I won’t recover from that. You have my heart in your hands, darlin’. I don’t want it back.”

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“For what?”

I smile sweetly. “For being you, and supporting me just as I am. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to verbalize how much that means to me.”

“I’ll always support you, Becca. No matter what.”

Finally calmer, I take Thunder into the bedroom and climb into bed. Jacob and I don’t talk much more, content to just be connected this way. Not ideal, as I’d much rather have him within touching distance, but still a connection I need. I fall asleep listening to his steady breathing, and wake up to find a text message from him.

Jacob

I’ll spend the rest of my days loving you exactly as you need, darlin’.

With a massive smile on my face, I fire off a text to my boss, letting him know I won’t be in today after the incident with my brother. Then I open up my airline app.