Page 15

I never should have popped up unannounced!

At least I wouldn't have stumbled upon what I had, and now, I couldn't get that bloody image out of my head. I was so stupid to think that our night together might have meant something to him. Obviously, it didn't. He didn't give two shits about it.

I was just another woman he'd crossed off his list. The reason he was gentle with me was because it was my first time. There was nothing special about it, nothing special about me. He'd taken my innocence, and it meant nothing to him. I was a fool to have thought otherwise.

And why the hell did this hurt so much? I should've known better. He was Erik Tarasov, the man who could get anything and anyone he wanted, anytime he wanted. Did I really think that he'd be faithful simply because he deflowered me?

As I drove, my mind was a thousand miles away, consumed by the image of Jennifer's hands all over Erik's chest. My jaw tightened, and I blinked rapidly in an attempt to push back the tears that welled my eyes, my thoughts tangled in a web of hurt of betrayal.

I hated how much this unsettled me, but I couldn't help it—it hurt so badly. But why? Why did I feel so much pain because of his actions?

Was it because I felt like a discarded object or because I was beginning to see him differently? If I hadn't given myself to him, would it still hurt this much? Was I overreacting?

These questions and a thousand more overlapped in my head, distracting me from the road. I didn't realize that my car had drifted off to the wrong lane until a shrill horn pierced the air, snapping me back to reality.

My eyes widened at the approaching vehicle, my heart pounding in my chest as I gripped the steering wheel. Within seconds, I swerved the car just in time to avoid a head-on collision, cold sweat dampening my forehead.

The other driver, his face red with anger, yelled as he sped by, his voice dripping with a British accent, “Oi! Watch where you're going, goddammit!”

“Sorry!” I replied, my high-pitched tone tinged with sincerity.

That was a close call.

I needed to get my head back in the game. This distraction had almost cost me my life and probably someone else's. I let out a soft sigh, fingers tightening around the steering wheel as I drove on.

Earlier on, I'd reached out to Connor, asking him to meet me at a public park in the city. That might not have been the best idea, considering I used to have a huge crush on him. But he was the only one that I could talk to about my feelings—the turmoil within me.

A few minutes later, I arrived, guiding the car into the parking lot of the park, the gravel crunching under my tires. I parked in an empty space and turned off the engine, taking a deep breath, my fingers massaging my temples.

My gaze swept across the serene surroundings as I hesitated in the car, trying to collect my thoughts. I drank in the view, the tranquil oasis with lush greenery and vibrant flowers—a stark contrast to the turmoil within me.

I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, shutting the door behind me. Warm sunlight enveloped me, and the cool breeze brushing across my face offered a momentary sense of calm.

The park was bustling with activity. Children's laughter filled the air, and their shrill screams added to the ambiance of the outdoor environment. Dogs and their owners played fetch, and a group of seniors played chess on a nearby bench. Meanwhile, a few joggers ran along the winding paths.

The familiar tune of “Turkey in the Straw” wafted through the air, drawing my attention to the ice cream truck that stood parked in the distance. Its colorful decals gleamed in the sunlight as enticed children and adults alike gathered around the truck with smiling faces.

My eyes scanned the surroundings in search of Connor, and I dug into my purse, withdrawing my phone. The screen lit and sent him a text, my fingers rattling across the keyboard. “I'm here at the park. Where are you?”

The moment I hit the send icon, I heard his voice behind me. “On your six.”

I turned around, and there he was, with a faint grin perched on his lips and a hand buried in his pocket. He was dressed in his signature suit, and his imposing height towered over me.

I was afraid that I'd feel some kind of attraction to him like I used to. But to my surprise, I didn't. Was he handsome? Yes. But did I find him attractive? No, I did not.

“Hey, thanks for coming on such short notice,” I said, squeezing out a faint smile.

“Sure, anytime,” he said, watching me with slightly narrowed eyes. “Is everything all right?”

I smoothed my hair backward, frustration creeping into my gaze. “I don't know. I guess it depends on your definition of okay .”

His expression softened, his eyes lingering on me with genuine concern flickering in their depths. “Come on.” He gestured toward an empty bench nearby.

I followed him over there, and we sat. I lowered my head, my palms cupping my face as I struggled to piece words together.

“Tessa, what's going on?” he asked, his voice soft and tender. “Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?” A hint of fury and venom crept into his tone.

I raised my head and looked at him, contemplating whether to speak up about what I had witnessed in Erik's office or keep my mouth shut. Connor didn't need to know the details of what happened—this was a couple's issue, and bringing a third party into the fold would only complicate matters further.

What kind of a wife would I be if I exposed my husband's shortcomings to an outsider? Was it worth it? What would Connor think of Erik?

As mad as I was at my husband, and as hurt and betrayed as he’d made me feel, I still couldn't bring myself to discuss this situation with another person…another man. It just felt wrong.

“Tessa, did Erik hurt you?” Connor reiterated, his jaw tightening slightly. Anger simmered beneath the surface.

I looked him dead in the eyes and said, “No.”

His expression softened a little, and before he'd push further or study my countenance, I added, breaking eye contact, “It's, uh….” I cleared my throat, groping for the right words to get myself out of this mess. “I'm kinda stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea.”

“Okay…” he drawled, his gaze lingering on me with a wary look in his eyes.

I stared at him, my heart racing as I summoned the courage to say the words I'd been avoiding for a while now. “Connor, I think I'm starting to fall in love with Erik.”

His brows rose instantly, surprise flickering across his face as he watched me in silence, as if too shocked to speak.

“Yeah, I know how it sounds, and trust me, I hate it,” I said, my voice low and laced with helplessness. “But I can't stop myself from feeling the way I do.”

He heaved a sigh, keeping his face straight, his expression soft but blank. “Does he know about this?”

I shook my head. “I don't think so.”

“Does he feel the same way about you?”

I paused for a moment, wondering if this feeling was mutual. But if it were, he wouldn't have been with that woman, would he?

“I don't know,” I said, rubbing my forehead, confused about what exactly was going on with me.

“Falling in love with your husband isn't a bad thing, Tessa.” Connor's soft voice was reassuring.

I looked back at his face, my eyes boring into his as I replied, “I know…. It's just…everything's just complicated now.” I sighed under the weight of my frustration.

“You're husband and wife. Loving him shouldn't be complicated,” he said, holding my gaze.

“Maybe,” I replied, drawing a deep breath. “But that wasn't the deal.”

Connor's eyes squinted, casting a fishy look at me.

I continued, “Our marriage was strictly business, and Erik and I had agreed to dissolve it after two years.”

“Wait, you mean you two are going to get divorced in a couple of years?” he questioned, tilting his head to the side, eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Why? Remember, you're doing this—”

“For the family. I know,” I interrupted, rolling my eyes at his gentle reminder. “But Erik and I agreed that once Zoya and Liam finally got married, he and I would go our separate ways,” I explained.

He paused for a moment as if he was digesting the information. “Your divorce won’t affect the alliance because by then, Liam and his wife will be the pillars holding both families together,” he added, his tone smooth. “Clever.” Connor flashed me a faint grin, admiration flickering in his gaze.

“Yeah, it sounds like it is, but now I'm starting to get emotionally attached. That's the problem,” I said, absently swinging my hands around. My voice rose a bit higher than normal, mirroring my frustration.

He let out a sigh, rubbing his eyeballs. “Alright, uh…I'm gonna need you to try and calm down,” he urged.

“I am calm. This is me being calm!” The words tumbled out of my mouth in a rush, a stark contrast to my claims.

He cocked his head to the side, his eyes fixed on me as if appreciating the irony.

I exhaled sharply, burying my face in my palms. “I'm sorry.” I rolled my neck in a massaging motion. “I shouldn't have dumped all of my shit on you like that. I'm just…. I'm so frustrated, you know?” I said, my lips trembling as my heart swelled with a mix of emotions.

“I understand,” he said, daring to close the distance between us. Conner looked into my eyes, his fingers holding up my chin. “Look, I can't provide you with the answers you're looking for,” he began, his tone calm and soothing. “And I can't wave my hand and make all of your frustrations go away.”

As he spoke, I felt my tension dissipating slowly, my breathing steadying by the minute.

He continued, “But I can tell you this: The answers you seek outside are within you, Tessa. All you have to do is pay attention and follow your heart. It'll never mislead you.”

Honestly, I didn't quite understand what he meant, but he was right about one thing—I needed to follow my heart and look within.

“Everything will be alright in the end,” he added. “Just trust the process.” His lips curled into a charming smile.

Somehow, his words managed to conjure a small atom of peace and fleeting comfort for me. While it wasn't enough to erase all my pain and frustration, he may have pointed me in the right direction after all.

“Thanks, Connor,” I said, heaving a heavy sigh. “I appreciate your time.”

His response was a softer expression, and he retained a smile as he watched me rise to my feet.

“Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back home.” I picked up my purse and beamed at him before turning around to leave.

“Hey, Tess,” he called.

I stopped in my tracks and glanced over my shoulder, attentive to what he'd say next.

He hesitated for a while. “Good luck.”

I sure would need that if I was going to keep living in that mansion for the next two years.

Without a word, I picked up my pace and headed back to my car.

*****

After my brief meeting with Connor, I went back home, feeling only a little less frustrated. My husband hadn't returned yet, and quite frankly, I wasn't ready to see him.

His betrayal had cut deeper than I expected, and I would need some time to heal.

Maybe I was taking this too far, considering I didn't catch them doing anything. But I was too hurt by the compromising position I'd seen them in. Plus, the woman in question had a self-satisfied look on her face, like she was mocking me.

Erik hadn’t only hurt me; he’d also embarrassed me in front of whoever the fuck that woman was.

Don't you think that you're being hypocritical about this situation? He's caught you and Connor in a compromising position, as well , a voice whispered in my mind, pricking my conscience.

Although that was true, it was also true that Erik hadn’t kept his mouth shut, nor did he decide to overlook it. In fact, his reaction was worse than mine because he confronted Connor and threatened to kill him. I did no such thing.

Plus, it all happened at the early stage of our marriage when we hadn't had sex yet. So, it wasn't the same situation, and it didn't carry the same gravity.

For now, I couldn't lay in the same bed with Erik, at least until I was over this. That being said, I decided to relocate to one of the many vacant bedrooms in the mansion.

I settled into my new room and strolled over to open the curtains, and that was when a wave of nausea washed over me. I wasn't exactly sure what caused it, but it was so bad that I had to run into the bathroom.

The door burst open, and I dropped to my knees in front of the toilet seat, vomiting. Once done, I raised my head, feeling a little better but a little dizzy as well. I wiped the back of my hand over my mouth and rose to my feet, flushing the toilet.

I strolled over to the sink, turned on the tap, rinsed my mouth, and then washed my face, the water cool against my skin. I jerked my head up and stared at my reflection in the mirror, wondering why I’d just puked my breakfast.

My gaze fell to the gentle swells of my breasts, which appeared a bit larger and fuller. I squinted at the unusual sight. Maybe it was just the top I was wearing. Perhaps it was the fabric that made my breasts look more pronounced. My hands flew to my chest, and as I assessed my voluptuous curves, I realized it wasn't the fabric at all. My breasts were full and heavy.

Recently, my emotions had heightened, making me more sensitive than usual. I'd been experiencing some slight aches all over my body, especially my waist and my head. Also, sometimes, I'd feel a little sick in the morning, but those were all signs of my monthly period.

Wait a minute.

I recalled what date it was, and my eyes widened, my heart sinking into my chest. The realization that I was almost ten days late hit me like a bloody truck, as this had never happened before.

“Am I…?” I muttered to myself, my lips quivering, thinking about the possibility of being pregnant.

It wouldn't be so far-fetched since it hadn't been long since we had sex, and he’d come inside me. Not to mention, it happened during my ovulation period.

My shoulders slumped in dismay. “Oh, fuck, no!”