Page 15

Chapter 14

Merci

Professor Miller drones on about aggregate demand and supply curves, and I find myself actually paying attention. Not because I'm suddenly a nerd or anything, but because this shit kind of makes sense.

Like how changes in market conditions affect prices and output. It's basically what I dealt with at the Obsidian Rabbit. When demand for certain "services" went up, so did the prices. And when competition increased . . . Well, let's just say I learned to diversify my skill set.

I snort, earning a side-eye from the girl beside me. Whatever. She can kiss my fucking ass.

Okay, maybe I’m in a mood because after telling me he’d “deal with me later,” Zach full-on ghosted me last night. Yeah, I expected him to show up.

To punish me.

Which had me horny as fuck. Can’t blame myself. Not when I haven’t ridden a dick since . . . Christmas Eve. And it wasn’t even good. There’s also the fact that no matter how hard I try to fight it, my traitorous body has a thing for my stepbrother.

So, after I found Raiyne and gave him back his jersey, my ass went straight back to the dorm and waited.

And waited some more.

Then the pacing started because all I could think about was what Viktor had said. If Zach wasn’t with me, maybe he was with that stupid fucker. My damn mind went wild, conjuring up all the kinky positions they might’ve been in.

With their damn coach.

To distract myself before I ended up vomiting, I’d pulled out my phone and scrolled through social media . . . which then led me down the rabbit hole of watching hockey videos. And not the hot kind where they do that sexy warm-up shit, either.

Nope.

I watched all the gruesome ones where they get hit or lose their balance and crash into the boards feet first, breaking their ankles.

Or the videos where they’ve gone in headfirst.

I cringe, wishing I could erase the replay of the hit Zach took. I still don’t know if he’s okay. If he has a concussion—read up on that too.

This shit shouldn’t bother me . . . but it does.

A lot .

Because as much as my life has sucked royal balls, I care about people. Even when they don’t deserve it. Like, how deep down, I’m sad my bio dad is dead. Not that I cry over it, but there are days I get . . . mopey.

My former therapist would have a field day unpacking that shit.

Professor Miller concludes his lecture, and I pack up, stuffing my notebook and textbook into my backpack. The moment I step out of class, I spot a familiar face halfway down the hall, one I don’t mind seeing.

Eli smiles wide, waving. “Merci!”

Dork.

I smile as I approach because his happiness is contagious. “Didn’t know you were in this building too?”

“Yeah, stupid core curriculum classes.”

“Tell me about it. But I actually don’t mind Intro to Macroeconomics.”

He zips up his jacket because it’s cold as balls outside today. “I was going to grab something at the food court before heading to the art studio. Wanna come?”

“Fuck yeah. I could use a milkshake.”

His eyebrows draw up high, mouth hanging agape. “It’s below freezing. Why do you want a milkshake?”

I shoot him a wide grin and rub my belly. “Because they’re fucking delicious. ”

And they are. Like goddamn addicting. I’m not choosy, either. Strawberry is my jam, but I’d sell my soul some days for a malted milkshake. Not to mention I’m hangry as fuck since I skipped breakfast this morning because my alarm is a lying bitch.

The moment we step outside, I contemplate moving back to Miami. My nose is so fucking cold that it’s already running. And my cheeks sting. Should have worn a damn scarf.

Thankfully, the food court isn’t far away, and I practically run inside, the smell of greasy burgers and fries hitting me like a freight train.

Eli pulls off his knitted hat, then stuffs it into his jacket pocket. “So, you really kicked Viktor in the face?”

I snort. “What, did my stepbrother tell you about that?”

Fine, I’m poking to see if he’s talked to Zach without asking outright.

“Viktor’s my best friend and my boyfriend’s cousin.” He chuckles as we grab empty trays. “He texted me about it, complete with a picture, demanding I come take care of him.”

My head whips toward him, and I blink excessively. “Shit. I’m . . . Well, no. I’m not sorry I kicked him.”

Eli’s mouth is agape as he blinks rapidly .

I wave a haphazard hand in the air. “What? He said he was going to take Zach “for another spin” or some bullshit. Didn’t need Zach’s sexual history thrown in my face.”

Because my stepbrother already did that . . . when he mentioned him and Raiyne had hooked up. But that doesn’t bother me as much because I have my own history with the ginger bitch. As in, he’s fucked me.

Occasionally, I’ve thought about throwing that in Zach’s face, but God knows what those two have done outside of oral, and I’m not sure I want to find out.

Eli cringes, his cheeks turning red. “Uh, no one really knows what happened between them. But Viktor’s totally in love with Beckett.”

“Is that why he’s always gotta be touching Zach?”

He stares at me, shaking his head the tiniest bit. “Viktor needs a lot of attention. And he can be overly dramatic to get it too.”

I roll my eyes because, yeah, Viktor gives off that vibe for sure. “Should I be worried about your boyfriend wanting to kick my ass for hurting his cousin?”

“Alexei thinks it’s funny you broke his nose.” Eli grabs a muffin and places it on his tray. “He’s still pissed Viktor hijacked our first date. Showed up at this fall festival we were at and basically appointed himself my new best friend. ”

“Seriously?”

He nods. “He grows on you.”

“Sounds more like he’s a fungus.”

I order a side of fries and a strawberry milkshake as Eli grabs a drink. We pay, then make our way to an open table.

“How did you and Alexei meet? I mean, you’re nice, and the rest of them are . . . dicks.” I take a sip of my milkshake. Maybe it’s unfair to lump his boyfriend into the mix with the rest of Zach’s friends since I never met the guy.

Eli shakes his head, chuckling. "It's actually kind of ridiculous. He was a total asshole at first. Knocked my books around, shoved me into walls—real mature stuff."

And now I don’t feel so bad about my earlier comment.

"Then, one day, he followed me into a bathroom at a party and pinned me against the door, trying to intimidate me. I stood up to him, and a few days later, we ended up. . .” He turns bright red and takes a big bite into his muffin.

I quirk a brow. “Got kinky, huh?”

He blushes even more.

I sigh, picking at a French fry. “Sorry, you got dragged into Zach’s whole stupid revenge plot. ”

“Trust me, it’s not the worst thing they’ve done. As misguided as they act, they do it out of love for each other.”

My chest tightens. I have no idea what it feels like to have people who have your back. To never be alone. None of them had to help him, yet they were by his side in Miami to kidnap me.

To kill me.

Because I had hurt him.

I take a large gulp of my milkshake, swallowing past the growing lump in my throat.

“You okay?” Eli stares at me wide-eyed.

“Yeah. Just wish things were different.”

“Zach’s . . . different. I’ve picked up on it. But he watches out for me. Just seems like it's hard for him to show how he feels.” Eli shrugs and takes another bite from his muffin.

Different.

Same word my mother used to explain Zach. Are they trying to hide that he actually has some type of psychosis or something? Then again, my mother and Mr. Knight were vague about my background when they told him the situation I’d dealt with.

Not that I’d want Zach to know how my father used to lock me in the chest freezer in the basement, how I’d fucking be in there trying to claw my way out for hours in the dark, screaming the entire time. Or how, as I grew, the space got cramped. Not even how I’d piss myself when he’d drag me by the ankles down the stairs.

“Merci?”

I look up, and Eli stares at me, his forehead creased and lips pressed into a thin line. Fuck. I clear my throat and straighten. “Didn’t mean to zone out again.”

“It’s fine. So, enough about them. Have you chosen a major?”

I stir the milkshake with my straw, the whipped cream swirling. "Undecided. I'm taking core classes while I figure my shit out."

"Any interests?"

"Besides making bad life choices? I used to do aerial stuff at a club I worked for. You know, silks, lyra, that kind of thing."

Eli's eyes light up. "That's amazing.”

“Kind of miss it. It was . . . freeing.”

"You should get back into it. The Performance Art Center has some aerial equipment. I've seen people practicing there.”

"Maybe." I pop another fry into my mouth.

My advisor also suggested exploring the PAC, rattling off a list of potential majors that might interest me. But right now, I’m just trying to adjust to this new life .

“Do you miss your friends from Miami? Sometimes I go to New Jersey and stay at Alexei’s. So, if you want to invite anyone over, they’re welcome to use my room.”

I let out a hollow laugh. "Can't miss what you never had."

Eli reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. "Well, you've got me now."

"Are you always this nice, or am I special?"

"We're friends now. No takebacks."

My eyes narrow, the corner of my mouth ticking up into a smirk. “You know that sounds an awful lot like what you told me Viktor said to you. But fine.”

While the only other friend I’ve had is Raiyne—and that betrayal still stings—Eli’s been nothing but genuine. He’s also easy to talk to and a good roommate.

Having a true friend would be a major fucking plus.

“Since we’re friends, you’re coming to a party with me tomorrow night because I don’t want to feel lonely on Valentine’s Day.”

Eli groans. “The last time I went to a party, I ended up with a bully for a boyfriend.”

I snort, eating the last of my fries. Maybe being kidnapped was actually a blessing. God, I can’t even get the thought out without choking on my drink .

But being back home . . . I’m not worrying about my next meal or making rent. I can actually look forward to having a future.

For the first time ever, I can do something with my life instead of just trying to survive. It’s a realization that fills me with hope.

But first? I need another milkshake. Emotional growth requires sugar. Hell, I don't make the rules.

That's just science.