Page 154 of Forbidden Hockey

Hours later, I’m sprawled across Trav, hair damp, body heavy and sated. That was intense, maybe the most intense Trav and I have ever been. I can still feel his cock in me even though it’s out of me, something I’m hoping will change as soon as he’s able. I like keeping his cock warm in my ass.

Fumbling, I search out his hand and lace my fingers with his.

“Let’s never do that again,” I say.

“Which part? The fighting, the being apart because of the fighting?”

“Wish I could say both, but I know we’ll fight again. The being apart because of fighting.” I can’t change being apart because of the hockey season, but that’s different. I wish we could lie here like this forever and never talk about what we need to talk about.

Trav brushes his thumb over my lips. “I’m not gonna do it,” he says.

“Y-You’re … not? Why?”

“You, pretty boy.”

“You’re not making any fucking sense, Trav. Dash. The scratch-post arms. His nightmares.”

He winces. “Yeah, I know, but I can’t trade his safety for yours. That’s just not on the table anymore. Honestly, it never was, once I got my head out of my ass and realized that’s what I was doing. Any way you can forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, jackass.” But as the words come out, something in my chest twists, hard, and relaxes.

“You bury her deep, baby. So deep. Thoughts you keep chained in the basement.”

Her?Mom.Is he for real? I can’t believe he’s bringing her up right now. I shake my head. “No.” My voice is steady. Calm. But he’s unearthed something, and my insides unravel like coiled rope. He holds me tighter.

As if he knows I’m trying to catch my breath, he carries on. “I’m coming with you, on the road this season.”

“You are?”

He nods. “There’s some paperwork I can apply for to get me across the border. I don’t know if it’ll get approved, but I’m gonna try. If not, I’ll be with you for every Canadian travel date.”

“But Dash won’t even be with us for the first part of the season. If your plan is to serve as his bodyguard, it’ll be hard to do with him traveling with Vancouver.”

“Then guess that means I’m doing this to be with you.” His strong fingers thread through my hair.

“Now I’m hella confused, babe.”

“I wanted to play bodyguard, but I can’t fight off the whole damn world—as much as I’d like to. I can’t chase every shadow for Dash. And I was acting like I was the only one who could keep him safe. It’s different from before. He’s got a whole crew thistime around. I’ve got to learn to lean on them and get creative about watching over Dash. I don’t need to revert to old patterns.”

I try to get close to him, snuggling into him some more, but I’m already as close as I can get. I can’t believe he’s doing this for me. It was the right move. Everything inside me feels put back together. I close my eyes, letting the tranquility of the moment sink in. Being away from him was hell. Like someone had carved out my insides and left me raw. I still feel the bruises, but his warm body’s healing them away.

“You really don’t want to talk about her at all, eh?”

I shake my head, and that’s all I have to say about that one.

“It’s just … I think it’s tied to the thing with your broth?—”

“Travis.”

He huffs. “Fine, but I’m treating it as a landmine, just so you know. I’ll step around it until you’re ready to disarm it.”

Dash and Stacey insisted on a family barbecue. Fuckers just wanna see me and Trav together in the open, even though they know how much we hate being under the microscope.

“Do I need to remind you of all the lies and secrets?” Dash reminded us when we tried—desperately—to get out of it.

I didn’t feel as bad as Trav did, but because he did, I got roped into it. So here I am over the grill at the house, flipping ribs, sipping on an ice-cold Corona. Trav sneaks behind me, slipping a hand into my jeans pocket, curling his body around me. My skin heats from the inside, eyes darting to where I know Dash and Stace are sitting on the backyard furniture nearthe fire pit. I wanted this, exactly this, being able to show our relationship off, but I didn’t expect to feel shy.

As if Trav can sense my newfound shyness, he holds me tighter. “Let’s make ‘em regret forcing this on us.”