Page 303 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 5

“I’m so sorry that this date is such a disaster,” she said. “There is literally no way to come back from this unless I drop to my knees right now.” Her eyes grew huge. “Which I’m not going to do. Because I don’t even know you. I don’t blow strangers in bathrooms. I swear. I’m not that kind of girl. Unless that’s something you…nope. Pretend I didn’t offer to do that. Oh my God please say something so I can stop talking!” She put her hand on her forehead.

And that’s when I noticed the engagement and wedding rings on her freaking ring finger. “You’re married?” I said. What in the hell was happening right now?

“No! I mean, yes. God.” She threw her hands up. “I’m separated from my asshole soon-to-be ex-husband. This is the first first-date I’ve been on since college. I’m a little out of practice. And a lot a bit of a walking disaster, okay? Happy?”

There was a knock on the door. “Is everything okay in there?” said a male voice. The door started to open and Ash threw her half naked self against it, blocking whoever was on the other side from coming in.

“I need some privacy!” she yelled.

“Are you okay, miss? I heard yelling…”

“Diarrhea!” she shouted and then cringed as she looked at me. “You better stay away for your own sake!”

“Um. Okay. If you need anything…”

“No, we’re good! I mean, I’m good. Because I’m all alone in here.”

“Alrighty then,” said the person on the other side of the door.

“I’m definitely going to prison,” she mumbled. “Do you think they have cameras in here?”

No.“I’m sorry, can we circle back real quick to what was happening before you yelled diarrhea at a complete stranger?”

She pressed her lips together.

“So you’re getting divorced soon?”

“The lawyers are working on it. We no longer live together. And we definitely no longer speak. Trust me, if I could speed the whole thing along I would. I fucking hate Joe Dickson with a fiery passion.”

“Joe Dickson?” She couldn’t possibly be talking about the same prick I went to high school with. “Cupcake Joe Dickson?”

She lowered her eyebrows. “I mean he sells cupcakes. But no one calls him Cupcake Joe Dickson. Wait, do you know Joe?”

“Does his dad own Dickson and Son’s Sugarcakes?”

“Joe owns it now.” She shook her head. “Please God, tell me you’re not friends with my ex? What the actual hell is this date?!”

I laughed. “No, I’m not friends with him. I hate that guy.”

She looked significantly calmer. “Ihate that guy. So freaking much.”

I smiled. This poor girl had clearly been through enough crap if she’d been married to Cupcake. The least I could do was buy her dinner. “How about we go back out there and you can tell me all about what happened between you two?”

She laughed. “How have you not run away from this train wreck of a night yet?”

I shrugged. “I’m actually having a great time. I got to see you without a shirt and almost got head in a bathroom full of centipedes. Plus you said I was gorgeous multiple times, and I’m very flattered.”

Her face started to turn red again.

“I think you said, and I quote, that I’m the definition of perfection.”

“How long were you eavesdropping on me? You’re a horrible human.” She shook her head. “Am I drunk or something?”

“I don’t know.” Honestly, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she was.

“Well, I need to be. Stat.”

“Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to put your sweatshirt back on. And I’m going to go back out there and order you some…”