Page 54 of For Your Own Good

She grits her teeth, keeps her mouth closed.

“Let me see,” he says, leaning toward the screen.

Sonia closes her laptop, not wanting him to see that she was googling “How much weight can I lose in one week?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she says, standing up.

“Sure it does. Sit back down and let’s talk about this.”

She hesitates. Itwouldbe nice to talk about all of this.

Mark reaches out and coaxes her back down to the couch. “I know how nervous you are about testifying. So talk to me.”

With a sigh, she sits down and leans into him. He offers her a spoonful of ice cream, and she eats it. “I just can’t believe any of this is happening,” she says. “This might be the worst thing that’s ever happened at Belmont.”

“Worse than when the headmaster committed suicide?”

“Yes. Much worse than that.Somuch worse.” She sits up to look at him. “Do you know we havestudentstestifying?”

“That’s not surprising.”

“I’m not half as worried about me as I am about them. Imagine being a teenager and having to testify in amurdertrial.” She accepts another spoonful of ice cream before getting up off the couch. “That’s enough for me. I’ve got to make my lunch for tomorrow.”

She walks away, rather proud of herself for not staying on the couch, helping her husband finish off that pint of ice cream. While cutting up carrots and celery into bite-size pieces, she also finds herself proud of all the things she didn’t share with him. Like eating candy in the store dressing room. The last thing she needs is to be told she’s in a snit.

She isn’t. She is just very worried about testifying.

Today was the worst so far. Up until everyone started talking about who was testifying and who wasn’t, the faculty and staff had tiptoed around the topic of Courtney. Specifically about whether she was guilty or innocent. The students talked about it, yes, but not the staff. Not until today.

It wouldn’t surprise me if she did it. Ingrid could be a nightmare.

What are you saying? You really think that girl couldkillsomeone?

I think it’s possible.

Impossible.

Think about how much pressure she was under. Her mother was relentless.

Lots of parents are relentless. That doesn’t mean Courtney killed her.

Regardless, we have to prepare for a guilty verdict.

All day. The conversations went on all day.

Sonia had tried to stop going into the Porter Room, where everyone watched the news during breaks, but she couldn’t. The least she could do was make her view known: There was simply no chance Courtney had killed her mother. Sonia made that point very loud and very clear.

Despite the text messages Courtney had sent to her friends, wishing her mother was dead. Despite the poison—whatever it was—supposedlyfound on their property. Despite how much pressure Ingrid had put on Courtney.

Despite all of that, Sonia refuses to believe it. The idea that anyone thinks otherwise is enough to make her go back out to the couch and get another spoonful of ice cream.

35

IN THE MORNING,Frank stumbles into school. His head feels like it’s going to explode, in part because he didn’t get any sleep. Not after he saw Courtney standing at the foot of his bed.

He had just drifted off when he jerked awake. There she was, standing over him, wearing her school uniform. She had a notebook in her hand and a pen in the other, poised and ready to start taking notes. Just how she used to look in class.

Frank bolted upright so fast, he woke Missy.